Fun and Frugal Living

Barbara G's Two-Way Crockpot Cake

2011-12-24T17:56:00.001-06:00

It's Christmas Eve and I am enjoying a good rest from everything in my pink plaid flannel PJs with the silver stud snowflakes--truly alluring. I am sipping a cup of dandelion tea from a teacup that I curb-crawled from the former owners of Tiger, who not only mistreated her, but "forgot" her when they moved. Tiger is the lovely, helpful kitty who graces this page's logo. She has it just as good now with us as she had it bad with them before. The gas fireplace has it warm and snuggly in here as I recharge my spirit with the Word of God at www.kcm.org. God is good to this woman, who considers her own self a divine rescue many times over, and I am grateful!

This cake has two unusual things about it. First of all is its method of baking. You bake it in a slow cooker. Second, you may obtain entirely different GOOD results by using one of two entirely different mixing methods. This is usually NOT true with cakes. I don't know the science of why this particular recipe works so well either way, but I'm just pleased as punch that it does. Although plenty sweet to call itself a dessert cake, it is not overly so, and that's part of the success in this recipe. Any more sugar and the cake will collapse.

The slow cooker method of baking a cake is fabulous for holiday time when you want a simple little dessert like pound cake with fresh fruit, fruit sauce or boiled custard, but do not want to take up oven space dedicated to other foods--like the turkey! It also is a boon during power-outs for those fortunate enough to have access to a generator. Compared to the massive draw of an electric oven (about 4,000 watts), a slow cooker draws little more power than a 250-watt light bulb. It can run alongside the refrigerator or freezer easily. In case you do NOT have a generator, it is also possible to string a big orange power cord from a friendly, cake-loving neighbor to run your slow cooker. Power outage can be weird in a natural disaster, where one neighbor has power and the other does not. This was a frequent occurrence after Hurricane Katrina hit us, when some had damaged meters and others did not. Why would you even WANT to bake a cake during a power outage? Well, to save all those eggs that are going bad without refrigeration, for one thing. Further, because cake makes many a bad situation better. Further--who needs a further excuse for cake?! I mean, really!

I love happy accidents. It was after the move and I was swimming in a cardboard box jungle of confusion. I had a surfeit of eggs and a strong craving for the palliative powers of pound cake. I wanted to use this recipe implementing the slow cooker, because the new oven was so filthy it looked like toxic waste had been cooked in there. As it turned out, the previous tenants had started an actual fire in the oven which melted the elements, but I digress. At any rate, I could not find my mixer. I had the beaters at hand, but not the machine. :::sigh::: So instead of mixing my cake by the recipe directions of creaming the butter and eggs together first, I employed the muffin method of mixing. This means I melted the butter, beat the eggs and combined all the liquids and solids separately, and then mixed all of the ingredients together all at once. From that point, I proceeded with the recipe in baking it. I knew it would at least be sweet and hoped it would be edible.

What I got was both unexpected and lovely. The cake recipe treated this way is a firm, spongy cake similar in texture to the sweet little cake rounds found in the produce section alongside strawberries at my grocer's and are meant for strawberry shortcake. The slices are firm and slightly rubbery in a pleasant way, and are extremely portable. They make for virtually crumb-free, grab-and-go snacking for little ones to eat--even in the car. Incidentally, they make a fine strawberry shortcake base. This version is by far my daughter's favorite of the two, being of the grab-and-go tendency her own adult self.

Made the creaming way, the manner by which the recipe is intended to be made, you obtain a cake more like the texture of a normal pound cake. I prefer the taste and texture of this traditional method myself. It is still moist, but possibly not quite as moist as the one made by the muffin method. The slight steaming involved in baking this in the slow cooker makes it reminiscent of pound cake I've had in good Chinese restaurants.

Besides its application in a just-moved situation where the moving-from oven needs to be kept clean or the new one is in question, slow cooker cake baking has other practical uses. Keep this recipe on hand for when a hurricane is impending and you're using up your eggs in baking projects and cooking up your meats. You can tuck the slow cooker cake in some out-of-the-way place and let it do its thing while you scurry about cooking other things. It's also convenient during holiday time when you swear you need three ovens to cope with the volume of dishes that somehow need to be worked into the oven alongside that big honker turkey and/or ham, the myriad of casserole dishes and, heavens, don't forget the ROLLS!

Note: This recipe has very specific requirements for success, but it is still not exact due to extreme variations in temperature from one slow cooker to the next. Experiment on your own to find the equipment combination that produces results you like. I used a large 7-quart Corelle oval slow cooker with an 8 1/2" x 4" Corelle loaf pan. Look around your own cupboards for Pyrex and Corelle cookware that might fit your slow cookers. Handles are problematic, as the pan really does need to sit deep in the pot. At some point, I plan to try pairing Pyrex bowls with my slow cookers and see how that turns out. If you do it before I do, please get back with me on any success tips. I do NOT recommend baking the cake directly in the slow cooker liner. The baking is too uneven. It will burn the edges something fierce, dry out to Styrofoam consistency in patches and likely still be raw in the middle.

Barbara G's Two-Way Crockpot Cake

2 cups unbleached, all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon cream of tartar
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
1 cup granulated sugar
5 large eggs
1/4 cup evaporated milk OR 1/3 cup instant powdered milk dissolved in 1/4 cup water
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

1) Traditional Pound Cake Creaming Method

Mist with non-stick spray an 8 ½" x 4" glass or Corelle loaf pan. Fit the bottom with a rectangle of parchment paper. Carefully place the loaf pan into the slow cooker, leaving an equal margin of space around the edges of the pan. Put the lid on and turn the slow cooker to High to preheat for 15 minutes before mixing the cake.

In a medium bowl, combine flour, cream of tartar and salt.

In a large bowl, cream butter and sugar until fluffy. Add vanilla and mix until blended. Add eggs one at a time, beating about one minute after each addition, or until each egg is fully incorporated into the batter. Add milk and beat until blended.

Add flour mixture and mix just until well-blended, scraping sides of the bowl as you go, about two minutes. The batter needs to be smooth without lumps, but be careful not to over-mix. This needs to get into the slow cooker right away once the dry ingredients are incorporated.

Moving quickly so as not to lose much heat, remove the lid from the slow cooker and push out batter into loaf pan. Spread it evenly in the pan. Lay a small, clean, 100% cotton terrycloth hand towel over the rim of the slow cooker, taking care not to let it drape onto the batter in the loaf pan. Replace the lid, pulling on towel if necessary to keep it pulled taut and completely straight across the rim of the slow cooker and not dropping into the cake pan.

Bake for 2 1/2-3 hours, or until cake has begun to pull away from the sides of the loaf pan. It will be tricky to sneak a peek, as you must lift the lid and the towel simultaneously. Do not do it before 2 1/2 hours have elapsed. When it looks done, remove the lid and towel and CAREFULLY remove the loaf pan from the slow cooker and let it cool on a cake rack for 15 minutes. Be mindful that all parts of the slow cooker lid, liner and loaf pan are extremely hot, and protect yourself from burns. Run a knife around the edges and turn it out onto a rack. Peel off the parchment paper and allow cake to cool before slicing.
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2) Muffin Method Spongy Cake

Mist an 8 1/2" glass or Pyrex loaf pan with non-stick spray and fit the bottom with a rectangle of parchment paper. Carefully place the loaf pan into the slow cooker, leaving an equal margin of space around the edges of the pan. Put the lid on and turn the slow cooker to High to preheat about 15 minutes before mixing the cake.

In a small microwaveable bowl, melt the butter and set it aside to cool for a few minutes.

In a large bowl, combine the flour, cream of tartar, salt and sugar. Stir until blended completely.

In a medium bowl, beat the eggs with the milk. Add the vanilla extract and stir to blend. Stir in the cooled, melted butter and stir well to blend.

Pour the egg/milk/butter mixture into the flour mixture and beat by hand until batter is smooth and mostly lump-free, but do not over-mix. Immediately pour the batter into the prepared loaf pan inside the slow cooker liner. Move quickly so as not to lose too much heat and be careful not to burn yourself. The loaf pan, lid and the slow cooker liner will be extremely hot. Level the batter quickly with the spoon. Lay a small, clean, 100% cotton terrycloth hand towel over the rim of the slow cooker liner. Replace the lid, pulling on towel if necessary to keep it pulled taut and completely straight across the rim of the slow cooker and not dropping into the cake pan.

Bake for 2 1/2 to 3 hours, or until cake has begun to pull away from the sides of the loaf pan. It will be tricky to sneak a peek, because you must lift the lid and the towel simultaneously. Do not do it before 2 1/2 hours have elapsed. When it looks done, remove the lid and towel and CAREFULLY remove the loaf pan from the slow cooker and let it cool on a cake rack for 15 minutes. Run a knife around the edges and turn it out onto a rack. Peel off the parchment paper and allow cake to cool before slicing.

I think you'll enjoy playing with this recipe and adapting it to your own equipment. Once you get the technique down, I believe it will spark ideas on how to use it to your best advantage. Think of baking a cake in the dead of summer...in your slow cooker on your patio table or front porch! Your kitchen stays cool and you'll have fresh pound cake to serve with whipped cream and strawberries or whatever other berry is in season. You are SO clever. Then when everybody asks where you got that clever idea, you send them to my blog and we all share even more clever ideas, because we're cool like that. And yes, at 59 I am probably way too old to use that expression and some of you young'uns are scoffing. Scoff away, young'uns. You only hope you look and feel this good at 59. Seriously, God's richest blessings on you all as we close out 2011 and look forward to 2012. This past year was marvelous, but 2012 is going to be even better! Have yourself a merry little cake-eating Christmas!

Frugally yours,

Barbara Houston Garrett

www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/barbaragarrett

Deodorant/Antiperspirant Savings--Extreme Frugality!

2011-11-01T12:04:00.000-05:00

All of these containers are destined for the trash as soon as I'm through with them this evening. As best as I can calculate, this amounts to somewhere between $60.00-$70.00 worth of underarm odor protection. These bulky stick containers all once held a relatively small amount of product inside, especially the orange ones, and still have a naggingly wasteful little bit of product left on the roll-up thing. This is a little over a year's worth for ONE person. Those plastic containers will go straight into a landfill. But what to do? I don't want to stink!

Before I go any further, let me be very clear: we ALL need to use some kind of effective odor control in the armpit area. No exceptions! No one stinks as an island unto himself. Your stink liberty ends where my nose begins, you know. Deodorant separates us from the monkeys. My only quibble is that this odor protection comes in a highly commercially packaged, highly ecologically reprehensible form. Perhaps there are safer, cheaper, greener options.

As for antiperspirants, I'm no longer as thoroughly Madison Avenue brain-washed that this IS an essential toiletry. I'm no longer persuaded that it is a great idea to block the sweat glands any place on the body, but especially not wise for women to do so and especially not in that specific area. God designed us so that the toxins come OUT of the body with the sweat, not stay locked in by some chemical so that they are reabsorbed into the body along with that chemical. I don't know about you, but I want to be buried at a ripe old age with my "girls" fully intact! A lady should not have to exchange body parts for sweat reduction. That's way too heavy a price. Possibly the risk is over-stated. I don't know. You make that decision for yourself.

If you're tied to the commercial type of odor/wetness protection, I understand. I was, for many decades. There are still things you can do to save here. Namely, buy the best generic that affords the same amount of protection for the dollar. I have found no better wetness OR odor protection with the big name brands as I have over the cheapies. Check the labels and get the identical chemicals on your generic as on the high-priced name brands for sometimes less than half. And yet, you can do even more than THAT.

Even if you buy commercial product, there's one MORE thing you can do along the lines of my favorite pastime of squeezing every bit out of every penny. I save those little dibs and dabs that are left on the little roll-up stick thing until I get a good bagful. Then I scrape the bits out into a microwave-safe Pyrex dish, melt them down and pour them into a couple of the roll-up things.

I have found it best NOT to mix different types of deodorant, but to melt together only the same types and fragrances. When you're microwaving the bits, be sure to put a cup of water alongside it. Trust me and just do it. Something about preventing arc-ing. Melt in 30-second increments until the stuff is softened and nearly melted with a few solid bits in it. Then take it out and stir the bits until they're mostly melted. You want it semi-solid, not too liquid a mixture. I've never noticed any difference in the effectiveness of the essentially recycled deodorant or antiperspirant, but I just feel like it's better NOT to subject the stuff to more heat than is necessary to accomplish the mission.

Now screw the little push-up thing down to its lowest place and then pour/pack the semi-solid mixture into the plastic case. Use a spoon to pack it down to remove any air pockets. Prop the stick so that it doesn't topple until it hardens thoroughly, at least overnight.

Cost: It's pretty much FREE, except for your time.

Now if you're like me and enjoy walking on the wild side of frugality, there ARE options outside of the commercial product. You need not be in bondage to them! Even if you want to use them on an everyday basis, consider some natural odor-eating ideas. They're great to have in mind for use in emergencies when either your own cash is strained due to job loss or other financial crunch, or during a disaster situation where heading outside your home could be dangerous.

Of course, when experimenting with any new product on your skin, even the natural ones, exercise some common sense. Some people may have contact allergies to certain substances, so you might want to test the product on your arm or leg before applying it to the more sensitive armpit skin. Also, some of these ideas might work best for you in combination. Play with it. It's your skin! I would advise that before combining any products on your skin, you keep basic chemistry in mind. For instance, I don't think it would be a good idea to dampen your armpit with white vinegar and then swab on baking soda.

Here we go, some ideas for natural odor-fighting:

1. Clean more often. Several times a day, give the underarm area a quick swipe with a cleansing solution. Some ideas: soap and water, rubbing alcohol and water, distilled white vinegar and water, apple cider vinegar and water, baking soda and water, witch hazel, water with a little lemon juice in it, radish juice diluted with water, baking soda and lemon juice in water, water with a few drops of rose water, water infused with sage, an ounce of water with two drops of an essential oil known for neutralizing odors (like lavender, tea tree).
2. Drink a cup of sage-infused tea each day (1 cup boiling water, 1 teaspoon dried sage).
3. Dust with baking soda.
4. Dust with cornstarch.
5. Dust with a mixture of baking soda and cornstarch (my current favorite).
6 . Make your own deodorant cream with equal parts baking soda, cornstarch and slightly melted coconut oil, with or without a few drops of essential oil. Of the natural options, this is probably the priciest, unless you already have it in your pantry. I do, as a food item. Coconut oil is better than butter for helping salt adhere to popped corn, and adds its own flavor that tastes nothing at all like coconut. It also is shelf-stable in relatively cool room temperatures (no higher than 75 degrees). Coconut oil, once maligned by nutritionists, is currently embraced by them as a superior fat. You decide.

As a cosmetic, coconut oil melts instantly at body temperature and absorbs quickly into the skin. It rinses easily from the fingers, unlike the commercial deodorant gunk. A bonus is that coconut oil is a mild antifungal, which happens to be a great fringe benefit in a deodorant!

I made a batch of this deodorant cream over the weekend and have been using it ever since, applied with my fingertips. I didn't even bother to put it into a stick, as the melt point is so low that one power outage or AC malfunction would reduce my cosmetics drawer to a greasy mess. I have mine in a deli container at present, but am thinking of transferring it to a baby food jar. Because it IS an oil, I do allow a few minutes for it to absorb into my skin before putting on any clothes. I also do not apply too much. Each armpit needs no more than a teeny-tiny piece of deodorant the size of a black-eyed pea!

I plan to alternate using the cream with using the powder. I will probably use the powder when I'm in a rush out the door and don't want to hang around for the cream to absorb. For ease of use, I store the powder in an 8-ounce recycled deli container that an old talcum powder puff happens to fit exactly. After my shower, while my skin is still slightly damp, I press on the mixture under my arms and under the "girls," where odor can be as big of a problem as under the arms. In other words, I use it pretty much as I would talcum powder in those areas. Now I would NOT put a baking soda/cornstarch powdered mixture near any orifice, as I believe we could be courting a yeast infection. 'Nuff said! A precaution is in order, too, about not being too vigorous with fluffing the powder all over. With any powdered substance, there is always a risk of inhaling it to the detriment of lungs and sinuses.

You will notice that I do not mention the popular crystal deodorant of which so many are fond. This is because it has the same aluminum in it that I'm trying to avoid in the store-bought antiperspirants.

Oh, and there is no aluminum in baking soda, as some have mistakenly believed. These dear souls are confusing baking powder with baking soda. There IS some aluminum in the most popular brands of baking powder. Even then, non-aluminum baking powder is available, but you'll have to hunt for it. Regardless, do not put baking powder in these deodorant recipes! Baking soda only, please! I probably should not confuse you further by telling you that baking soda is one of the components of baking powder. Ah, I guess I just did.

COST: As with anything else, the cost on any of these alternative deodorant options will depend upon how cheaply one can obtain the ingredients. A 50/50 mix of baking soda and cornstarch will run roughly $1.40 for 2 pounds of mixture. I pay much less, because I get baking soda in 12-pound bags from the pool supplies department of my local box store, as we use baking soda for cleaning produce and general household cleaning, too.

If you apply about 1 teaspoon of the baking soda/cornstarch mixture per day, then those two pounds will last you about 192 days, or a little over six months! Now I don't care HOW cheaply you buy your deodorant, $1.40 for six months' worth (or about half of what's in the photo above) beats store-bought at any price! If you add in a pound of coconut oil to make the deodorant cream, that jacks the price up fairly steeply by $5.00, so that would be $6.40 for six months' worth of deodorant, still a bargain over the store-bought kind. On top of the savings, you're keeping all those plastic deodorant cases out of the landfill.

Of course, if this natural deodorant fails to stanch the stench, then all of this is a moot point. So does it work? For me, it does! It's going on three weeks now that I've worn nothing but baking soda/cornstarch mix under my arms, alternated with the cream form. I smell at least as good as I did when wearing the store-bought gook. I don't even seem to sweat any more than when using the commercial product. What is interesting to me, too, is that my underarm area no longer has that 24/7 greasy feeling to which I'd become accustomed all those many years of smashing store-bought deodorants and antiperspirants onto my skin. This is true even with the cream formula, but especially with the powder. I was not expecting the perk of actually feeling cleaner in foregoing store-bought odor and wetness protection!

On another delicate note, if you suffer much odor and wetness below "the girls," you may safely apply some of the powder or cream there, but do use a light hand. In addition to being a natural deodorizer, baking soda is a natural abrasive. A bra band will chafe mightily if the powder is applied too heavily, despite the cushioning action of the cornstarch. Ouch!

Let me add that up to the past few weeks, I have been wearing some form of commercial antiperspirant every single day for over four decades. My underarms have been assaulted daily with all manner of chemicals in an effort to combat both sweat and odor. It may well be that I stopped up my pores and glands to the degree that they are not working properly now. It is entirely possible that one day my underarm sweat glands my open up with a fury and pour out vileness into the air around me. Ugh.

At that time, I may well resume my expensive commercial deodorant usage, cost and ecology be damned. Even so, I doubt I will go back to antiperspirants. Until that day when I begin to stink and before I am reported for polluting the air, I shall continue to dust or smooth on my natural deodorant. I will enjoy saving my pennies and feeling cleaner, to boot. The fact that I'm cutting down a little on my daily exposure to strong chemicals gives me just a bit more peace of mind, too. Can win/win be this easy? Sometimes, yes it can. : )

Frugally yours,
Barbara Houston Garrett
www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/barbaragarrett

It's CURTAINS for ya!

2011-10-20T04:49:00.000-05:00

Referring to my blog entry of 6/25/09 entitled Thirteen Quick Tips to Save Money, I want to expand upon one of the thirteen tips, the one about window insulating. Although this idea is certainly nothing new, it is an important energy-saver. Let me tell you about what we did recently.

First, we already had wooden shutters up on most of the windows, which are marvelously energy-efficient, if not always exactly in style. Pooh on that notion, because I like them! Besides, wooden shutters have the highest "R" factor of all the customary window treatments. However, several notably hot windows do not have wooden shutters, all three facing west. I'm not sure we ever can put them there, either, because there's not enough open/shut clearance for them. They're in the kitchen, which always got unbearably hot in the afternoons, even with heavy white canvas curtains. Summer afternoon sun turns those windows so hot that a hand placed near them feels like reaching into an oven. Even the cats avoid sitting in them mid-afternoon, despite the nice wide ledges, because the glass gets hot enough to burn!

We pretty much avoided all kitchen activity in the afternoons, and could almost HEAR the electric meter racing, trying to keep our house cool. Of course, that meant all daytime cooking activity ceased, because no way were we going to generate any more heat in there. The air conditioner was struggling, as it was. For us to eat the overwhelming majority of our meals at home--a conviction for us--that meant we cooked only late at night and/or early in the morning. After two years of enduring the kitchen sauna and the accompanying high energy bills, I did something about it. Finally!

Now I will say that what I desperately wanted to do was to erect some sort of physical barrier outside to keep the sun from coming into the house in the first place. That would have been ideal. I had in mind a huge rose arbor that spanned the entire length of the kitchen and extended out from the roof enough that the kitchen was completely in the shade. Lacking the funds and know-how to do this, I decided to work on what I could handle INSIDE the house. That would be window treatments that prevented the heat that passed through the window glass from radiating into the room.

I added a second layer of curtains. More nearly accurately, I guess they should be called window blankets. I cut lengths of white Polarfleece to fit the windows with only a little bit of extra ease so they'd cover the window edges, too. I edge finished with my serger and put a simple casing on one end of each panel. Then I hung them on tension rods inside the window frames, behind the decorative curtains. Oh. my. GOSH! What a difference! Even on the hottest days, the whole kitchen and dining area now stay as pleasantly cool as the rest of the house, without that open oven door feeling we always got in the afternoons.

I had a little extra white Polarfleece, so I made two more curtains for two East-facing windows in the office/sewing room that already have wooden shutters, but which catch the full brunt of the morning sun every day. The difference has been felt here, too, as the room does not warm up the way it used to early in the morning. I used to think it was the computer generating all that heat, but I was wrong.

All this got me to thinking about our enclosed garage/playroom that stays too warm in the summer and too cold in the winter, despite the air conditioner and gas fireplace in there. Might the windows and glass doors there also be contributing to the heat problem? We had wooden shutters in there, so I'd thought we were covered, but maybe not. Maybe heat was escaping into the room at the shutter door edges. One of the glass doors stayed oven-door hot, even with the decorative curtain hanging over it, so I knew we could improve there.

Fresh out of Polarfleece and time, I picked up some cheapo plain insulated curtains from my friendly dollar store. The curtains were $8.00 each, and I got five, one for each window and the two glass doors. I cut them off, hemmed them and hung them and then fully realized why they were marked down--they were pug-ugly! What I'd thought to be a lovely neutral taupe in the package looked like a pair of boring khaki Mom pants when hung up. Boring would never do--not in the playroom! We needed color! We needed bright color! So, fast-forward to a fistful of acrylic paints in primary hues and an afternoon of amazing mess and now we have these gorgeous hand-print curtains. I think they're stunning, and fun, fun, FUN! As a result, yes, the playroom now feels just as cool in the summer as the rest of the house. Not to mention, those hand-prints make it LOOK cool. : )

Now let's get down to brass tacks on the money part. I did all of this curtain work at the beginning of the summer, about the first of June. We made NO other changes in our electricity usage. Entergy says that their per-kilowatt hour charges for the summer months this year have increased over last year's. That means, even if we used precisely the same amount of energy we did last year, we'd be paying more for it. That being said, our electric bills since I put up the curtains have averaged--drum roll, please--fifty dollars LESS each month than the corresponding months of last summer. Yes, even with an energy cost hike, we paid fifty dollars LESS each month over last year! Do The Happy Dance with me!

What that boils down to is one month's power bill savings paid for the cost of the curtains I was compelled to buy for the playroom. The rest of them came from my home "fabric store," with fabric I bought about ten years ago at ten-years-ago prices. If I had to guess, I'd say that cost me no more than $20-$30 total, because I rarely ever paid more than $2-$3.00 a yard for fabric. These curtains will last us for years and years of power bill savings. They all machine wash in cool water, so no dry cleaning bills. The store-bought curtains must hang dry to avoid ungluing the insulating layer, but the Polarfleece ones endure the dryer just fine.

Of course, it isn't simply about the outright energy savings of $50 each month, although that's fun enough to make me nigh unto giddy. It's also more than saving on the wear and tear of our air conditioner, which, if you've priced central cooling units lately, is still nothing to sneeze at! No, as much as anything, it's about the resulting immediate comfort factor in all these rooms, which are now more appropriately the hubs of activity of their created design.

Moreover, what insulates against summer heat will also do the same for winter cold. I cannot wait to see how the curtains help our power bills over the next few months of our schizophrenic weather where we may have alternating very cold and very hot days. This is our typical Mississippi autumn/winter. I expect the curtains will help keep those rooms more livable and cozy on the chilly days, too.

One more thing: there is a type of daily maintenance necessary with insulating window treatments like this, especially if you have cats and/or children who push the curtains back or even occasionally yank them down. We call them "breakaway" curtains, because a good tug will bring the whole thing crashing down upon a head. While the bright side is that nothing has been broken since the whole assembly is so lightweight, the dark side is that the tension rod must be re-installed each time the cat/child pulls it down. It also must be re-installed straight or it looks really unkempt and trashy from outside.

Also, for the insulating properties to be most effective, the curtains need to be flush against the glass and the curtains need to cover all edges. Further, during the summer, it's best to keep the West side curtains, blinds, shutters or other window treatments open in the morning and shut in the afternoon. On the East side, keep them shut in the morning and open in the afternoon. Reverse that whole process through the cold winter months to maximize heat retention/heat gain benefits. It also helps to put some kind of draft stopper at the bottoms of doors and windows, even if it's only a rolled up towel.

Yes, it is yet one more thing to do each day, this opening and shutting of curtains and shutters, and it can tend toward the tedious. However, I find the routine most comforting, a necessary physical grounding. It helps me start the new day when I open up the house in the morning. I check the weather to gauge what to wear, and see the continuity of life with the birds and squirrels feeding outside my window. It helps me keep track of the passing time and stay accountable. When it turns noon and is time to make the window curtain switches on the East and West sides of the house, it reminds me when I'm off-track with what I'd planned to do that day. I still have time to adjust, to reduce distractions, to re-focus and to change what I'm doing to make sure the truly important things get done.

Then, as I shut down the house in the evenings, it helps me to "power down" myself. As I go about closing curtains and shutters, I assess the day. I decide what I need to do in order to meet my goals tomorrow. I release the hurts of the day to my Heavenly Father, because I don't want to carry them to bed. I thank Him for the day's blessings, because even on the most difficult days, the blessings far outweigh the trials. Gratitude goes a long way toward sweetening even those. An old, possibly eye-rollingly corny idea to some folk, but it recharges me, centers me and warms me...insulates me, if you will...just as shutters and extra layers of curtains insulate my home. Some old ideas are worth clinging to, corny or not, simply because they work. Selah.

Frugally yours,
Barbara Houston Garrett

www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/barbaragarrett

Microwave Cocoa Brownies and MYO Mix

2011-10-13T00:43:00.000-05:00

A note about the little glass mug up top here. This is one of two I have left that I collected many years ago from either peanut butter or jelly from some brand I now forget. I love these glasses and wish I had more! Focusing now on the plate: BROWNIES!!! Everybody has a favorite brownie recipe. This is one of mine, adapted for the microwave. Yep, they're quick. To save additional time, I've given instructions for making it up as a mix. Incidentally, you'll usually save a few bucks over regular, preservative-laden purchased mixes. Oh, and did I mention that these are scrumptious brownies?! They are the fudgy, chewy type with a slightly crackly thin crust, so if you want the cake type, look elsewhere.

If you'll look closely at the photo above, you will notice that the brownie on the right looks slightly darker on top. This brownie has actually been turned upside-down, to show you this especially delicious darker layer. It's where some of the chocolate chips have sunk to the bottom and have melted into the batter there to make it particularly luscious and candy-like. You will not want a frosting with these brownies!

Caveat: Because of this luscious dark layer, you MUST prepare the brownie pan just as I say, or they will not release from the pan. This particular recipe and method of cooking leaves the brownies with a thin layer of semi-solid chocolate on the bottom. Although it is delectable, it is problematic when removing the brownies. No amount of greasing or misting the pan with non-stick spray will help. You must lay down some parchment paper, which neatly solves the "problem." Not only does the paper make it possible to remove the entire block of brownies in one piece cleanly, but it frees up the pan to (what else?!) make more brownies without wasting time to wash a pan!

CAUTION: Microwave cooking times vary slightly from one oven to the next. You may have to make up this recipe several times to get the timing precise for YOUR appliance. What takes mine 4 minutes and 24 seconds may take yours 4 minutes and 10 seconds--or more or less.

While you're practicing on getting the time right, be assured that even when the brownies are not the very BEST batch, they're still pretty tasty. I advise erring on the side of under-baking them, as they continue to cook for some time after being removed from the oven. The truly under-cooked brownies can still be scooped into a bowl and eaten with a spoon. The hard ones can be dunked into milk or coffee to soften them so as not to break a tooth, as for biscotti. However, the really burned ones are nasty and good for nothing but the trash. Try cooking them 4 minutes first, and then add or subtract seconds to come up with the brownie doneness and texture you like best.

Barbara G's Microwave Brownies

1 stick (1/4 cup) butter
1 cup unbleached, all-purpose flour
6 tablespoons dry cocoa powder
1 1/4 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
2 eggs
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

Put the butter in a small microwave-safe bowl and microwave for about 30 seconds, or until the butter is mostly melted, but not entirely. You want to have some cool lumps, so that when you stir it, it forms an opaque semi-liquid that's merely warm. Set it aside to cool a few minutes.

Prepare the pan. Line an 8" square Pyrex dish with a strip of parchment paper so that it hangs off on both sides like "ears." Fold the ears/handles down a bit so that you can easily pour in the batter later. It is not essential that the strip extend up all four sides of the dish, but only that it cover the bottom well with an overhang on two sides.

In a large mixing bowl, combine the dry ingredients. Whisk very well to distribute the salt and baking powder. Add in the chocolate chips and eggs, using a wooden spoon to stir them into the dry ingredients. Add the softened butter and incorporate it into the mixture completely until no dry spots remain.

Spoon out batter into the prepared pan, taking care not to dislodge the parchment paper. Spread to the edges, trying to maintain an even thickness.

Microwave on High for about 4 minutes and 24 seconds, or until the top loses its wet appearance entirely (even around the edges) and looks matte and dull. Leaving it in the microwave oven, lay a single paper towel across the top, pushing it down as close to the brownies as possible without actually touching them. Let them sit there (or on a solid, heat-proof surface like a wooden cutting board) until completely cool, or at least an hour.

After about an hour, remove the paper towel and replace it with an air-tight cover like aluminum foil. Alternatively, you may remove the brownies from the pan and cut them into squares. The parchment paper makes this easy. The chips will be semi-solid after an hour, but the brownies can be lifted out of the pan carefully by the parchment ears/handles and then cut satisfactorily, if not completely cleanly. I recommend 4 across and 4 down, for a total of 16 brownies. If you let them cool overnight, but well covered, the brownies will cut more cleanly as the chips will completely solidify and yet still provide a soft and luscious layer on the bottom. By then, the top will have developed into the characteristic thin layer of dry, crackly brownie crust that we so enjoy.

Unless very tightly wrapped, these brownies dry out quickly, and are best eaten within the first 24 hours of being made. In theory, they SHOULD freeze well, as do pretty much all cookies. Ours simply have never hung around long enough to test them in the freezer.

Yield: 16 brownies

Variation: Instead of the semi-sweet chocolate chips, you may substitute white chocolate chips, butterscotch chips, or peanut butter chips. The texture is a little different, as you don't get that same fudgy bottom layer as with semi-sweet chocolate chips, but still plenty tasty.

Cost: About $1.25 for the entire batch. If you're really penny-pinching, you CAN substitute a neutral-flavored oil like canola or even a solid shortening for the butter, as that one stick of not-on-sale butter cost me about 58 cents, a major expense of the recipe. You might even prefer the taste and texture of brownies made with oil or shortening if you're accustomed to the flavor of commercial mixes, but I consider the butter a necessary splurge at whatever price I am compelled to pay for it.

An avid couponer can probably get decent mixes for this price or occasionally even less, but then you must not mind the preservatives and what is to my palate a slightly stale, somewhat metallic after-taste. If you buy the mixes straight off the shelf, you're looking at anywhere from about $3.00+ for the usual mix brands to $15.00+ for a frou-frou mix.

Now if you want to match the time outlay of mixes and yet have the full, rich chocolate and buttery flavor of homemade from-scratch brownies, make up your own mix! It takes about the same amount of time to make up dry mix for four batches of brownies as it does for one. Incidentally, these would be marvelous gifts. Just attach the printed recipe to the jar.

Barbara G's Make-Ahead Microwave Brownie Mix

4 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
1 1/2 cups cocoa powder
5 cups sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips

In a large bowl, combine all dry ingredients except for chocolate chips and whisk thoroughly, so that all ingredients are very well mixed and any lumps in the cocoa powder are eliminated. Do it longer than you might think necessary, scraping the bowl several times. There's not that much salt or baking powder, but they are essential. To be extra-sure that you have it perfectly mixed, you might want to sift it several times.

Divide mix among four pint canning jars, or recycled peanut butter jars. Divide the chocolate chips among the jars--1/2 cup each. Store in air-tight containers at cool room temperature and use the mix within two to three months.

Yield: 4 recipes of brownie mix. If using these for gifts, affix a nicely typed recipe as above for baking instructions OR do as I do if I'm making the mix for our own household and write on a piece of masking tape "Brownies--2 eggs, 1 stick butter, 2 t. vanilla." I know what to do with them. I'll bet you will, too.

Say, wouldn't this be a fabulous time to go to a big discount store and buy up economy sized packages of flour, sugar, chocolate chips and cocoa powder? Round up all the peanut butter, jelly, mayonnaise, or condiment jars you've been holding onto to recycle (that hold about 2 1/2 cups) and clean them up thoroughly. Then the next time you have the family together, put them to work and mix up a quadruple batch of the mix. Have your computer geeky one to print out the recipe with a pretty Christmas-themed border. Have your arty one to convert your newspapers into Christmas-themed wrapping paper with potato print stamps and poster paint.

There you go: Christmas gifts--DONE EARLY, and all without breaking the bank! Bake up a batch of brownies to celebrate.

Frugally yours,
Barbara Houston Garrett

www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/barbaragarrett

Saving on Dill Pickles

2011-09-21T02:11:00.000-05:00

I adore dill pickles. I always have. I liked them as a child when I helped Mama make them with cucumbers from our garden. I remember happily chopping them up into my bowl of black-eyed peas at supper and then dribbling extra dill pickle juice onto them. Good eating! I seriously protested the sweet ones my grandmother preferred both to make and to eat, considering even her mildly sweet bread-and-butter pickles far inferior to my beloved dills.

However, my fondest memory of dill pickles is during my college days, which was none-of-your-business years ago. A tall, blonde hunk with the dreamiest blue eyes worked the sandwich counter and made THE best sandwiches. He whipped out a fabulous tuna salad, among others, but I nearly always ordered the same thing to keep my focus: grilled cheese with a generous side of dill pickles. Keeping my menu simple gave me more time to flirt with Mr. Hunk, without trivial distractions like sandwich contents. It also allowed him to go on complete automatic and to flirt back! After all, he knew exactly what I was going to order and how I liked it, and he was eager to please. And no, I shall not reveal his name. He is happily married to a wonderful lady and I would not dream of embarrassing either of them...well, except for this much. Besides, he is well aware of his gifts, and I'm sure she is enjoying some scrumptious sandwiches right about now. :::sigh::: My own sandwich guy will come some day.

BUT ENOUGH OF THAT! Let's talk pickles! Sometimes I make my own, but mostly I don't. I buy them by the gallon jug, and I don't know why every frugal pickle eater does not do this. It seems simple, but this is one area of saving on food cost that seems to be overlooked often. I can buy an entire gallon of whole pickled cucumbers for about $5.00, whereas the same amount bought in smaller pints and quarts of slices and spears costs upwards of $20.00! This is insane! Pickles keep for ages as long as the opened jar is refrigerated and one is careful not to inject bacteria into the jars by doing naughty things like pulling out pickles with fingers instead of forks or tongs!

Of course, who wants a big gallon jug hogging valuable refrigerator real estate? No problem! Break it down! We like mostly dill chips for burgers and other sandwiches (like grilled cheese!), but we do enjoy the spears with meals. So what I do is line up half a dozen or so squeaky clean glass jars recycled from salsa, olives, jalapenos and other condiments. I grab my cutting board and a nice, sharp, thin-bladed, serrated knife and slice up the pickles into chips and spears. It is messy, but one big mess and half an hour of slicing and I'm ready with several months' worth of ready-to-eat pickles. I fill the jars with pickle juice from the gallon jug, and save the rest for pickled eggs. I put one jar each of chips and spears to the front of the refrigerator for fast grabbing, and hide the rest of the jars in the very BACK until they are needed.

Savings: At least $10-$15 for every gallon I buy over the cost of the same amount of small jars of pickles. For the two of us, that's 3-4 gallons a year, or $30-$45 we can put toward a special treat...or sandwich meat...or cheese!

About quick pickling eggs: They're embarrassingly easy to make! I peel the hard-cooked eggs, rinse off any shell bits, blot dry and drop them into a very clean quart jar. I cover them with the left-over dill pickle juice and wedge a thick slice of raw onion on top to keep the eggs beneath the brine. I screw on the cap and refrigerate them for a week and then serve them alongside black-eyed peas and cornbread, any bean meal or a country vegetable plate. One of our favorite children enjoys pickled eggs for after-school snacks. They'll keep well refrigerated about 2-3 weeks.

One thing I do insist upon for all of this is glass jars, both for the gallon jug of pickles and to store the re-jarred pickles. I never buy pickled anything in plastic. For one thing, I do not trust what chemicals the vinegar leaches out of the plastic and into our bodies. For another thing, that pickle smell will NEVER come out of the plastic for the purpose of re-using the jug for storing other food items, and that is the second best reason FOR getting those glass jugs. Now it will take a little doing to remove the pickle smell from the metal LIDS (baking soda, exposure to sunlight, wadded up newspaper, charcoal, whatever), but the glass jugs themselves are a cinch to clean.

Yes, as if saving money on the pickles themselves is not enough, now you have this lovely, air-tight glass canister for FREE! This is awesome! Once thoroughly cleaned and dried, these glass gallon jugs are wonderful for storing all manner of food items bought in bulk, from flour and sugar to dry cereal, rice, whole grains and dried beans. Low fat items store best, so that would mean flaked, puffed or the generic "o" cereals; NOT granola or anything with nuts or oily seeds like sesame or sunflower. YES on the plain white flour, but NO on whole wheat flour. It's best to grind wheat berries fresh before use, or simply cook them...OR make a batch of my blender pancakes. The recipe is in my blog. Do a search.

If you intend to keep a food item for more than one year, you might want to add an oxygen absorber packet to the jug to help keep the product fresh. Whole grains and beans won't need this nearly as much as any processed product, but they'll benefit, too. One oxygen absorber packet added per gallon jug is the correct ratio. Put a strip of packing tape on the lid as a low-tech prevention to curious little fingers breaking the seal and exposing the food to oxidation, thereby shortening the storage life.

Now why would you bother to store dry cereal like this? Well, I'll tell you why. It's a great first line of defense toward feeding your family in a natural disaster, that's why! This is not good for a long-term, obviously, but is an easy meal to fix while gathering one's wits after something has hit and the power is out, especially when served with dried or fresh fruit, or some rapidly defrosting frozen fruit. After Hurricane Katrina hit and we were without power for about a week, it was hot, hot, HOT. We could not even think of eating a warm meal, much less figuring out the logistics of preparing one. We survived primarily on cold cereal, bananas, an assortment of dried fruit and nuts, PBJs, and two gallons of precious milk kept cold in a carefully insulated cooler with a juice jug ice block. It was bliss having that cold cereal on hand!

As for how to stock up cheaply, I always wait for my grocer's loss leader specials, where cereal sells for about $2.00 a box. Also, dry cereal companies are really good about spitting out coupons. If you hit a special AND have a handful of coupons, you could stock up super-fast, super cheaply and have a pantry full of dry cereal stored in glass jugs and all ready for emergencies. The bugs will be unhappy, but they don't pay the bills, so they can go get fat off somebody else's food who doesn't know all these cool techniques of proper food storage like you do. How about that?! It all started with a humble jar of pickles!

Now if you're feeling adventurous and your family goes through loads of other pickled items like jalapenos, consider breaking down institutional sized jugs of those peppers into smaller jars. I think you'll find the savings on those are even greater if you normally eat a lot of them. Do wear gloves, open a window and put on some safety goggles to avoid painful spashes! Eye injuries are not frugal!

Frugally yours,
Barbara Houston Garrett

www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/barbaragarrett

Blender Pancakes from Wheat Berries

2011-08-26T00:54:00.000-05:00

Pictured are plain pancakes and blueberry apple pancakes, a single batch split in half. Note how neat and symmetrical the plain ones are, but how raggedy the blueberry apple ones are. The fruits are murder on the structure, plus they stick to the griddle horribly. The important thing, though, is that they both taste equally delicious!

Today's blog entry helps you do two main things: 1) learn how and why to store wheat berries, both short-term and long-term; 2) learn a fun way to incorporate whole wheat into your family's meals painlessly by making pancakes in an unusual way. Both can involve the children in important life lessons and skills.

You'll see wheat berries in my line-up of stored goods above, third bottle from the right, next to the oat flakes, next to the storage "essential" multi-colored chocolate candies.  I do not attempt to maintain a year's worth of food and supplies as some religions teach. It is not so much a religious practice for me as a practical reason for having a little "cushion" of food and supplies.

As Hurricane Irene bears down on the Eastern coast of the United States, I am hoping and praying that they are ready for this thing. I hope that they're already prepared, that they took to heart some of the lessons we've learned from facing similar disasters. It is far better to be prepared and wind up not needing it because the hurricane was lighter than anticipated, than to prepare insufficiently and suffer. The suffering is much too great.

On Monday, August, 28, 2005, Hurricane Katrina hit Mississippi dead-on and was my big wake-up call about the value of general preparedness. While everybody was scrambling for basic necessities, we assessed what we had and decided to make-do with what we had rather than subject ourselves to the considerable danger of going out into the craziness that had become the metro-Jackson area. Although we had SOME food and toilet paper stored, it was not nearly enough to have a comfortable margin of supply. Even though I had cash on hand to purchase supplies, none were available, and an indefinite period of time loomed before supply lines could run again to our area. Worse, since there was no electricity, we had to keep our windows open to survive the 94-100 degree heat. Heat, humidity and insects claimed some of the food we had, primarily because it was improperly stored.

I realized I'd made myself vulnerable by drifting too far away from my childhood farming roots. We always preserved food to last from one growing season to the next. In bumper crop years, we preserved enough to allow for bad crop years. It was the height of foolishness to do otherwise. Today we take for granted that whenever we want a certain food or ingredient, we can simply run out to the store to pick it up.  It's easy, so easy that it sometimes seems silly and perhaps even neurotic to plan beyond a week's worth of food and supplies...EXCEPT in times of personal or regional disaster when our normal supply lines are shut down. Like Katrina.

I determined to learn how to store things better, to learn which foods stored best and in which forms, and to set up a sufficient food and supply safety cushion. Nobody around me seemed to know how to do that the way I remembered it done, so I turned to some folks who did--the Mormons, or Latter Day Saints, LDS, as they seem to prefer to be called. Although the good LDS folk and I will be separated forever by our theology, we agree solidly on preparedness. It is not an option; it is a commonsense necessity. They have taught me much on the subject of food preparation and storage, and I am still learning. I happily pass it on to you.

Let's talk about wheat. The LDS are well-known for storing their wheat, and for great reason-- bread is made from it and bread is the staff of life! One COULD live on just good whole grain bread and water, if need be. In addition, wheat and other whole grains can be sprouted for use as fresh greens.

What kind of wheat to buy? There are two basic kinds, soft and hard, and their best uses differ. For things like pancakes and cakes where you want a more tender texture and need less gluten structure, you want soft wheat berries. Flour made from soft wheat is what you buy as pastry flour. For yeast-risen loaf breads, you want hard wheat, which yields high-gluten, higher protein bread flour. Both grains are stored the same.

Where to buy wheat berries? I usually buy mine from Rainbow Whole Foods in Jackson, MS, but have bought from Honeyville Grains online and heartily recommend both as reliable suppliers with products of excellent quality and good service-- http://store.honeyvillegrain.com/ for those without a local supplier, or for the metro-Jackson folks-- http://www.rainbowcoop.org/ Ask Rainbow about quantity discounts.

Do buy from a reliable whole food dealer. Grain sold for livestock is NOT suitable for human consumption, so do not cut corners and buy at a feed store. Look for what's designated as "triple-cleaned" for the best value and the least amount of work at prep time. Even so, it is important to look through the grains before using them in each recipe. I like to do this as I do for beans, by pouring them out in a single layer in a white plate. Then I pick out things I don't want to eat, like weed seeds, tiny bits of dirt, assorted field trash, and mysterious little whatevers that simply are not wheat berries. It is far easier work with triple-cleaned. Most health food stores and wholesale suppliers have very clean wheat. If in doubt, look at it.

Why bother to store wheat? Price, for one thing. We're eating wheat now that we bought in 2006, which means we're eating it at 2006 prices rather than the much higher 2011 prices. Another reason is that wheat berries can be stored for many years longer than flour, which can be stored only 1-12 months, depending upon the kind of flour. Possibly the very BEST reason to store wheat, though, is that it gives you access to the vastly superior flavor of baked goods made from home-ground wheat. Even if you decide you don't want to mill your own flour, cooked wheat berries are fabulously flavorful little nuggets of fiber in yeast breads and quick breads alike. Wheat berries also make their own toothsome breakfast porridge that is tasty all on its own, they can be added to soups or stews, or they can be used like rice for various side dish pilafs.

Cost comparison to flour: In my experience through the years, whatever commercially milled flour costs at any given time, whole wheat berries yield flour that comes in at roughly 40-50% LESS than that bought even in the box stores or on loss leader sales. So even if you buy only one year's worth of wheat at a time, you're still saving substantially over the current market price of flour. Estimate that 1 cup of wheat berries translates roughly into 1 1 3/4 cups of flour or 1 pound of berries will grind up to make about 4 1/2 cups of flour.

Of course--BIG CAVEAT-- you'd have to make a LOT of bread to offset the cost of a decent electric grain grinder. I still have one of those on my dream list! I do have a far cheaper manual grinder, but the amount of work required to turn out only one cup of flour means I'd have to be on the hardest of hard times to use it. I'm talking about 5 minutes of constant turning at a good clip of speed to turn out only ONE cup of flour! When one recipe for two loaves of bread requires 5 1/2 cups of flour and I make six loaves at a time using about 17 cups of flour...um...yeah. Forget it! So does that little monkey wrench bring all this money saving on buying wheat berries to a halt? Nay, nay!

For the pancakes below, you need no grinder at all. You need only a blender! You don't need a fancy one, either. I use my 36-year-old Harvest Gold colored Hamilton Beach blender, about as bare bones as a blender can get, and it does just fine. I am most careful not to let it overheat, as it can do while grinding the berries. Even so, I can turn out several batches of pancake batter at a time. Once you've tried them, I believe you'll see how a person could justify buying wheat berries in bulk simply for the assurance of many years' worth of delicious, inexpensive pancakes.

How to store wheat: There are many ways, but I suggest low tech for simplicity and expense. Unless you plan to store your wheat for much longer than 5-7 years, this method will suit you just fine. My very favorite wheat berry storage is in transparent juice jugs, the gallon or half-gallon shelf-stable kind; NOT the refrigerated kind. The shelf-stable plastic jugs are different and are made for long-term storage. The refrigerated kind are not. As a rule of thumb to determine suitability for re-use in food storage, check the bottom of the jug or jar for the letters "PET" or "PETE" embossed on the jug itself. The best thing about using juice jugs is that they're FREE, but they're also air-tight and will float if the unthinkable happens. With all the flooding here in Mississippi this year, a lot of us have been thinking about the unthinkable.

Another good choice for storing your whole grains is gallon and half-gallon glass pickle jugs or other "PET" or "PETE" containers like peanut butter jars, mayonnaise jars, and some chip jugs. I'll bet you're already headed to your pantry now, turning over all your jars to look for those embossed letters. I think that's great! What you recycle for your food storage stays out of landfills, and that's better for all of us.

While we're talking about storing wheat, all of what I say here applies to storing other grains and grain products, or any dry foods, for that matter. You are not compelled to share your food with the bugs, but they will not give up without a fight. The answer is NOT in spraying so much pesticide all over the place that you poison your family along with the bugs. You simply must be diligent with your storage. The main line of defense is storing everything in glass or hard-sided, air-tight jars and jugs. As soon as you get them home, you must pour up all of your foods that are packaged in plastic, cellophane or cardboard. That means all dry cereals, pastas, rices, pasta mixes, cake mixes, chips, crackers, instant potatoes, and dried potato mixes. Cut off the instructions for use and tape them to the sides of the jars. YES, it's a lot of trouble, but the time you spend now is money you save later when you don't have to toss out the scalloped potatoes, cake mix or beans because the bugs got to them. Remember this ugly truth--you are in all likelihood bringing bug eggs home on or in some of your foods. You simply do not know which ones. Protect them all and contain the buggie problems by transferring them all to air-tight, hard-sided containers.

Detailed logistics on how I put up the wheat berries: Regardless of source, the whole grains usually come to me in a big paper bag. I scoop up the berries into the juice jugs, using a cut-off top end of a plastic milk jug as a funnel. I cap the jugs and then wrap the tops with packing tape to help keep them from jarring loose in storage and attracting insect infestation. Grain moths can be sneaky buggers. Usually, that is ALL I do. I do not put oxygen absorbers into the jugs and I do not give them the 72-hour Freeze Treatment. I do store them at cool room temperature on a dark shelf and I check on them from time to time to make sure there is no movement in the jugs. I've been doing this for half a dozen years in hot, humid Mississippi, where occasionally the AC strains to keep the temperature as low as 78 degrees. So far, I've had no bug problem with my wheat, especially not wheat that I've bought through Rainbow or Honeyville Grain.

Let me emphasize that it is critical to store ALL foods in temperatures that are comfortably cool, or no higher than 75 degrees Fahrenheit. For every 5 degrees above that, the storage life and quality of any kind of shelf-stable food is dramatically shortened, no matter how it is packaged. In near-tropical Mississippi, that completely rules out garages and attics. Please do not keep food of any kind, packaged in any manner, inside your garage.

I did have bug problems once with wheat I got at a close-out from a nationally known grocery store with a nationally known product, both of which shall go unnamed. Since I had it in juice jugs, the bug problem was contained and did not spread to my other foods. I popped the jugs into the freezer before they'd done much damage and then sifted out the critters. I have occasional bug problems with my beans, no matter what the source. Thin plastic bags are not much protection, plus bugs just like beans! What to do so they don't win?

The 72-Hour Freeze Treatment: I almost always use this for storing beans, or any grain from questionable sources that I feel might possibly harbor bugs. First, as soon as I get the beans home, I pour them up immediately into PETE jars or jugs and cap them securely. Then I pop them into the freezer for 72 hours. After that time, I set them out on a towel to catch the condensate WITHOUT OPENING THE JUGS. I leave them there for 7 days and I check the jugs daily for any possible bug activity. If I see any, I immediately pop the unopened jugs directly back into the freezer for another 72 hours. I do this three times, even if I don't see any life at all. If I DO see something moving, which is rare, I'll send it through another 72 hours of freezing.

But here, back to the subject and reason enough for keeping wheat berries on hand, these scrumptious pancakes I adapted from one of the recipes the LDS gave me. They're a little less egg- and fat-rich than the recipe I got, and they are fortified with the ground flax seed I put into about everything. They're not big, puffy pancakes, but more of a thin, flapjack-style cake, my preference. Because they're made with less fat, you need to watch them a bit more carefully that they do not stick. Also, do not make the cakes larger than I recommend here.

Seriously, though, if you do not tell your family before you serve them that they are whole grain, they will not guess. They're that good! So many of us decided that we despised whole wheat when we did not realize that what we had eaten was made with rancid flour. Whole wheat goes "off" very fast once it's been ground. If you've never had breads made from freshly-ground wheat before, then you'll really be surprised with how light and flavorful these whole grain pancakes are. Enjoy! Oh, and I highly recommend that you enlist the help of a child to push the blender button on/off, and with counting off the seconds that make up a minute. It is far more fun that way, because you have to yell above the sound of the blender motor.

Barbara G's Blender Pancakes

1 1/2 cup milk OR 2 cups buttermilk
1 cup soft wheat berries, NOT cooked and NOT soaked
1/2 cup old-fashioned rolled oats
1 egg
2 teaspoons baking powder (1 teaspoon, if using buttermilk)
1/4 teaspoon baking soda (ONLY if using buttermilk)
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons freshly ground flax seed*
2 tablespoons mildly-flavored salad oil like canola
1-2 tablespoons honey or sugar

In a blender container, add 1 cup of the milk and the wheat berries. Blend for three minutes. After one minute, check to see if the blender motor feels warm. If so, then let it rest two or three minutes, but no longer, or the wheat will absorb the water and will inhibit further grinding. Consider blending in one-minute increments only. Add the remaining milk and the rolled oats and blend two minutes, for a total blending/grinding time of five minutes. Scrape down the sides, if necessary. Do not shorten the grinding time, even if the berries seem fully ground before the time is up. If you do, the pancakes will be unpleasantly grainy, as in sandy grainy.

Add the egg, baking powder, baking soda (if using), salt, ground flax seed, oil, and honey or sugar. Pulse about three or four times or until all of the ingredients are thoroughly mixed. Stir to make sure there are no huge lumps.  The batter will be very thin.

Using the blender container, pour out pancakes onto a medium hot (325 degrees) non-stick skillet or griddle. These cakes do better on the small side, so aim for no larger than 3" to 4" in diameter. Flip when the bubbles stay open and the cakes are golden brown on the first side; cook the other side. Serve warm with fresh fruit sauce or syrup.

Yield: about 20 three-inch pancakes

Variations: After grinding the wheat, add one of the following with the oats:
1 ) 1 large ripe bananas and 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger; blend until mostly smooth.
2) 1 medium apple, peel-on but cored and cut into chunks, and 1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon; blend until mostly smooth.
For both variations, add an extra egg for additional binding the fruited mixture needs; and use the smaller measure of sweetener or omit it entirely.
3) For additional interest, you may scatter a few blueberries, blackberries, chopped cherries or chopped nuts on each pancake immediately after pouring it onto the griddle.

*Because of its high oil content, flax seed (even whole) does not keep well in long-term storage. It's best to keep it refrigerated or even frozen for extended storage. If it's on a cool room temperature shelf, try to use it up within six months. Grind up only what you're about to use in a recipe, as the oils dissipate rapidly upon exposure to air. Alternatively, for ease of use, you may grind up a cup or two dry in the blender or food processor and then store it in the freezer in a hard-sided container. Do not grind so much at a time that the ground seed gets warm, and then freeze it promptly as soon as it's ground.

Let me know if you try these, and if you have any comments on what worked well for you as far as technique. Also let me know if you experimented with other additions or variations.

There may be some of you hard-core folk who'd like to store wheat or other grains for up to 20 years. If so, then I suggest you invest in some oxygen absorber packets, and use one of these little packets per air-tight gallon jug or bucket of wheat berries. They are marvelous! You may also buy the whole grains pre-packaged in buckets from places like Honeyville Grain and Walton Feed (http://waltonfeed.com/). It's usually going to be more expensive to buy grain that way, but keep checking back with them until you find what you want on sale.

You know, maybe I won't ever return to the farm again, but I feel more closely connected to the farmers now that I'm simply paying more attention to the rhythm of the seasons and the years of plenty and lack. No, I'm not hoarding, because we'll eat every bit of what we store, even more so than when I did not know how to store and rotate out things properly. Now we have a safety cushion of good, wholesome whole grains that will keep until we want to use them, without spoilage or contamination. Now we can have a reliable supply of bread, no matter what else is going on around us. That, in itself, gives me a certain degree of peace of mind. In these crazy times, I'll take all of that I can find.

Frugally yours,
Barbara Houston Garrett
www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/barbaragarrett

Stretching Toilet Paper and Going Paperless

2011-08-22T01:53:00.000-05:00

One glance upwards to my logo photograph and you'll see how important toilet paper storage is to me. Yet and still, I've been reconsidering that staple as a fixed expense. Even THAT expense can be trimmed, and relatively painlessly, at that.

Since I live in Mississippi and Hurricane Katrina is still fresh on my mind, hurricane season turns my thoughts to stronger preparedness. However, no matter where you may live, any number of personal or natural disasters can knock you off a regular supply of food and toiletries. It pays to have a safety cushion of essential supplies. In the civilized world, one of them is toilet paper. Stock up whenever it's a loss leader and every time you get a coupon for it. Don't wait for the need. Get it now! But where to put it all?

Toilet paper is the type of thing to store way up high in a closet where nothing else can be stored. Stack it all the way to the ceiling! Even if you have to get a broom to knock down a 4-pack, it won't hurt you or itself when it falls. You may also tuck some under beds, in suitcases, in the back of all the clothes closets (where nobody can find anything, anyhow), in the garage or even in the rear of the car trunk. It's so lightweight that it won't affect gas mileage and won't go bad in the heat or cold. If you have small children, there are other benefits to traveling with toilet paper, but I digress. If the toilet paper will be stored where rodents occasionally roam, you'll want to keep it in a hard-sided storage container with a tight-fitting lid. Mice adore toilet paper bedding.

Besides cheap peace of mind, the beauty of stocking up on toilet paper now is that you get your choice of toilet paper. For some who have allergies, this is important! There's nothing like a rash in a sensitive area to intensify an already-miserable disaster situation. When you stock up in non-emergency times, the stores can restock the shelves immediately. With your family's needs out of the way, the stores can then furnish the unprepared and those directly hit by the disaster who may have relocated to your area.

Yet again, I call to remembrance the Friday BEFORE the Monday that Hurricane Katrina hit Mississippi directly. The population of metro-Jackson, Mississippi doubled overnight and we were out of all manner of supplies by Saturday. Toilet paper was one of them. After the hurricane hit, all of the toilet paper and many other toiletries (even underwear!) that dribbled in through the crippled supply lines were diverted to shelters. Any toilet paper to be had was scrounged off shelves of drugstores at a premium and after waiting in long lines. This went on for weeks. Have I sold you on stocking up on toilet paper?

The question becomes, then, how MUCH toilet paper is enough? Of course, that varies with the family and even the gender make-up of the family. Besides that, there is another option for cleaning up after toileting besides using toilet paper. The best time to explore this option is in non-crisis times so that we can move seamlessly through crisis periods with the least possible emotional upset.

Let's say that you are a roll-a-day family, you have ignored my advice to stock up and now you have only six rolls left. Something has happened and now you cannot get more toilet paper for possibly several weeks. Either your budget is bare or the grocery and dollar stores' shelves are bare, or they're destroyed or closed after a disaster. What now? How the heck do you ration toilet paper?

You do it by going paperless, or at least partially paperless, in the interim. You will substitute washable cloth wipes. Besides getting you through the crisis, you will lighten the load on your plumbing system, as toilet paper is a big strain on it. Saving on paper means you'll also save on water if you flush only after bowel movements, as each flush requires 5-7 gallons of water. Save an average of only THREE flushes a day, or 15-21 gallons, and you've saved 450-630 gallons of water in one month's time. To give you some perspective on this, a top-loading washer averages about 40 gallons of water per full load. So, crisis aside, using less toilet paper is a good budget cutting strategy even for normal times!

Let's do a little math on the water savings. Consider the extra flushing as "leakage." According to the Jackson, Mississippi's Department of Public Works, 21 gallons of daily leakage costs $70.00 per year. Wow! Could you have used that $70 to take the family to a Japanese steakhouse, fill up the car with gasoline, get a full body massage for yourself or at least use it for something more fun than flushing a toilet? I know I could! Hit the meat counter and rack up for several months! Here's where I got my numbers-- http://www.jacksonms.gov/government/publicworks/sewer/

Let's do a little more math, this time on the paper itself. Let's say you're a one-roll-a-day household. If you use from a 4-pack of toilet paper that sells for $2.50, then you're paying $.63 per roll. Over the course of a month, you'll use 30 rolls of toilet paper and you will spend $18.90. What if you could cut that usage dramatically by one simple change of routine? If the best you can do is to cut your toilet paper use in half, then that's still $9.45 you've saved, or a nice large pizza.

If you have a larger family, your savings will be considerable. Further, a houseful of females will naturally use much more toilet paper than one with males. It's how we women are made. We have to wipe after every elimination, bowel movement or urination. Men generally have to wipe only after the bowel movement. Therefore, a houseful of females will see a significantly larger dollar figure on savings with going even partially paperless.

Let's talk logistics. I highly recommend a soft, absorbent fabric for the wipes, like 100% cotton flannel. There's no need to rush out and buy, though. Glean fabric from the good parts of your family's old flannel pajamas and shirts, which will be softer and kinder to the nether regions and FREE. Old cloth diapers are also perfect for this. A good size to cut them into is 6"-8" squares, a bit smaller than most washcloths that run about 11 1/2" or so. The wipe cloths do not have to be perfectly square, so cut them out to make the best use of your old pajama or diaper fabric. If you have access to a serger, it won't take long to edge-finish a few dozen squares. Alternatively, you can use pinking shears to cut up the squares. Any other edge finish is liable to scratch in a place on your body you'd rather not be irritated. Without any edge finishes, you'll have to spend a few minutes each laundry day clipping loose threads, which is still not a big issue.

I keep a rectangular wicker basket on the back of my toilet. I store bath toiletries on one side. On the other side are two stacks of cloths, one each of washcloths and wipe cloths. I use a wipe cloth, rinse it at the sink and then hang it on the tub to dry until the next load of undies and towels laundry is due. I use my wipe cloths for wiping urine only and the quick rinse takes care of any possible ammonia odor. If you intend to use yours for wiping after bowel movements, then proper hygiene dictates that you keep a closed container beside the toilet for the soiled wipes, like a diaper bucket. Keep a borax soaking solution in the bucket to combat bacteria growth and odor. Then simply treat it as you would a diaper bucket and do separate loads for these wipes from your regular laundry. On laundry day, dump the cloths into the washer, spin out the water, rinse them and then wash in hot water with detergent.

For those of you who are already going totally paperless, I welcome your input on logistics. Some of my readers who are braver and thriftier than I am about this may want to follow your lead.

For all the rest of you who want to try going at least partially paperless, but who know you'll get resistance from the ranks, just do it yourself! Even if you are the only one in your family to go paperless or partially paperless, you'll still save significantly on water and toilet paper. We do in my household! Then, if/when a disaster hits and supplies are cut off, your paperless system and routine will already be in place. You won't have to panic and risk your life going out to find toilet paper. You will be potty-ready, and you will think of me. You're welcome.

Frugally yours,

Barbara Houston Garrett

www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/barbaragarrett

Easy Make-Ahead Sub Salad Sandwiches

2011-07-02T18:39:00.026-05:00

Sub Salad on homemade whole wheat/oat mini-buns

I'm re-posting this blog recipe for a most delectable and make-ahead sub salad/sandwich filling on the week of Super Bowl, 2012. What works for 4th of July picnics also works great for Super Bowl Sunday! The cautions against drinking and driving and FOR staying buckled up equally apply for this occasion, as does my urging my friends to keep their Pre-Paid Legal (now LegalShield) cards handy. Crazy stuff happens, and so do roadblocks. Right now is a great time to make sure your driver's license, inspection sticker and tag are all current and that your proof of insurance is handy. You still have a few days to fix them if they're not. Y'all have fun, but stay safe and out of the pokey! Here goes, the repeat--

Maybe it's a party; maybe it's too hot to cook; maybe you have a crowd to feed for THE BIG GAME and you don't want to miss the kick-off yourself; maybe you need a picnic sandwich for fishing or camping or simply to cut traveling costs on the road. Sometimes nothing will do but a submarine sandwich...even if it happens to be round. This one has the advantage of being make-ahead and portable. Also, once you have all the elements at hand, it goes together quickly.

The recipe has evolved over the years, but I think I've worked out the best quantities of each ingredient and the sandwich-making logistics. I got the basic ingredient list from some dear soul online over a decade ago. Her name now escapes me. If you're out there, honey, speak up so I can give credit where it's due!

Although I do not like to indulge in processed meats too often because of price and health reasons, this filling is not too reprehensible in either area. Maybe not for every week, but we all need a splurge now and then.

Plus, this recipe is kid-friendly, both in its preparation and in the eating part. The lettuce wilts and the tomato and onion virtually disappear, so children who normally balk at these elements or pick them out may eat them without so much as a squawk. If the children assist in making the filling, all's the better! In the hands of a pre-schooler, a butter knife is sufficient to "cut" the soft lunch meat, as long as you're not too picky about the size of the dice. The adults or older children will need to chop up the trickier cheese, onion, tomato and lettuce. However, children who are permitted to use scissors could have a go at the lettuce with ultra-clean scissors. All can help measure the mayo, mustard and oregano, and do the mixing. Do bear down hard on the hygiene here and keep everything scrupulously clean. Lunch meat and mayo are a potential bacteria factory, and no sandwich is worth getting sick!

The overall flavor and texture does best when the filling has had time and pressure from the plastic wrap to help it absorb a bit into the bread. Substantial, hearty, whole-grain buns work best for this sandwich, especially if you're making it ahead as I recommend. Although they're not as pretty as in the photo above once they've sat compressed, the filling is less likely to fall out in the eating. Do not use a hard roll or very chewy bread like a bagel for this sandwich, or it will be impossible to eat, even with the wrapping and sitting time.

Cost: If you pick your sales and lunch meats carefully, you won't spend more than about $12.00 for this entire recipe, which averages about $1.00 per adult serving-size portion.

Barbara G's Make-Ahead Sub Salad Sandwich

1/3 pound each bologna, ham, turkey, salami (or assorted deli meats of your choice)
8 ounces provolone cheese
8 ounces mild cheddar cheese
1 head lettuce, finely shredded (I use loose leaf, but iceberg OR packaged salad mix works)
2 medium-size tomatoes, finely chopped
1 medium red onion, very finely chopped
1/2 cup mayonnaise
2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh oregano leaves, or 1 teaspoon dried
1 tablespoon brown mustard

12 large or 24 small whole-grain buns

In a very large bowl and with a wooden spoon, mix together the dressing ingredients of the tomato, red onion, mayonnaise, mustard, and oregano.

Finely chop all the lunch meat and cheeses. A 1/8" dice is ideal, but what you see in the above photo is an impatient 1/2 to 3/4" done by a harried 24-year-old and her 5-year-old and 7-year-old helpers. It's a little sloppier sandwich that way, but it still works and tastes fine.

Mix the chopped meat and cheeses into the dressing and stir gently to coat each piece with dressing.

Mix in the shredded lettuce and toss to coat each piece with the dressing and to distribute all the ingredients evenly.

Pile the filling into airtight containers and refrigerate it overnight or at least a few hours before making up the sandwiches. The lettuce needs to be completely wilted before you make the sandwiches. The filling will keep nicely 2-3 days refrigerated. I would not risk longer than that.

Making up the sandwiches: Stir the filling well to redistribute the dressing. Lay down a square of plastic wrap on a clean work surface and put a sliced bun on it. Scoop up a generous amount of filling into the bun and close the bun. Wrap the sandwich tightly with the plastic wrap, squishing it down slightly to compress the filling and bread and to prevent the elements from shifting and sliding around. Repeat until you've used up all the filling. Pack the sandwiches upright into a zipper-seal bag and store them refrigerated no longer than about 8-12 hours. If you travel with them, be sure to store them with a good ice pack inside a cooler until meal-time. To eat with the least amount of mess, peel back the plastic wrap a little at a time to reveal just enough sandwich to bite.

Yield: Serves 10-12 generously, about 2 mini-buns each

Alternative serving suggestion: as a thick, chunky dip for substantial dippers like pita wedges or pieces of any firm flat bread or heavy cracker.

This recipe doubles or even triples easily. Just make sure your bowl is big enough to mix the ingredients and that you have enough room in the refrigerator!

Suggested go-withs are carrot sticks, grapes, or watermelon slices, all of which help cut some of the richness of the creamy filling.

Y'all play nice this Fourth of July weekend and don't drink and drive, okay?! Stay buckled up and double-check to make sure your driver's license is current, your inspection sticker is up-to-date, your car tag is this year's, and that your proof of car insurance and owner's registration are all safely inside the car you happen to be driving at the time. Don't assume anything, because it's a big-time bummer to be stopped at a roadblock and get a ticket--or go to jail, even--over something so easily prevented. Talk about a way to ruin a holiday weekend!

For my Pre-Paid Legal members, make sure your membership and Legal Shield 24/7 emergency legal help cards are on your key chain. Be polite to the nice officer. He's just doing his job to keep us safe, you know. : )

Frugally yours,
Barbara Houston Garrett
www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/barbaragarrett

Smooth Beans for Braedyn

2011-06-01T15:57:00.000-05:00

Braedyn, mashing black beans for Smooth Beans

One of the most fascinating and fun aspects of having an in-home daycare is that our vocabulary has been expanded greatly by children's interpretations of words, pronunciations of words and uniquely childlike names for items. We especially enjoy the various names for foods, even though food names have not always meant actual food. One little one, Tinsley, said she was afraid of tomatoes hurting her, which confused us until we figured out she meant tornadoes. We learned that when Austin referred to "pie-man" doing something, we should RUN immediately toward wherever he was, because Austin-as- Spiderman was about to scale a wall or bookshelves or sail through the air with his pretend webbing to assist. Quite a few gray hairs later, I'm so glad he outgrew that phase!

On a less heart-stopping level, though, real food names that were given other names by children are those we continue to use way past when they stopped doing so, to the point of eyerolls. It is our right to embarrass them, no? I mean, once one has changed a child's diaper, isn't there that entitlement? We don't call strawberries that name, anymore. They're "gars, daw-bews, or tarberries" (Bonnie, Bonnie, Braedyn). Music of any kind is "meeka" (Jordan) or "gick" (Dylan). Socks are "goks" (Jordan). Another such re-name is "smooth beans," a favorite four-year-old's name for refried beans. I like "smooth beans" a whole lot better than the supposedly correct name, which does not translate properly into what they are, anyhow. Refritos are not truly fried at all. They're mashed in a skillet with an abundance of animal fat added for flavor, but that's not frying. Smooth beans describes them perfectly.

This blog entry today is for you who've either never cooked dried beans, or if you've been miserably unhappy with the results. If you read my entry on accidental-on-purpose bean dip, you'll know that after decades of bean cookery, I still mess up sometimes. I do try to work with the mistakes if at all possible...or bury them deeply in the compost pile! No need to hash over failures. I mean, really! Today is a new day.  We start afresh. Besides, even a total bean mistake is a cheap mistake, so experiment freely.

Here's my first piece of dried bean advice: throw away the clock. I mean it. Don't ask me how long the beans will take to cook.  I don't KNOW how long.  Every variety of bean is different. Every bag of beans is different. Every municipality's water is different. Every slow cooker is different, and don't even get me started on the new slow cookers that run so hot they can hardly be called "slow," anymore.  Age and moisture with each bean is different. All of these factors, some unknowable, help determine just how long a bean will take to soften properly and turn into lusciousness. It is one of life's little mysteries. However, there is one reassuring fact:  the bean will tell you when it is done.  There will be no doubt. I suggest you plan the meal intended to use the beans AFTER they're done. Blessedly, most cooked beans keep nicely refrigerated for several days, or can be frozen for quick meals later. This is particularly true with Smooth Beans, as the texture does not suffer with rewarming. They're already very nearly a paste.

For your session of cooking Smooth Beans my way, I advise choosing a day when you'll be around the house with a flexible schedule. Set the beans on to cook early evening of the day before that. The beans may be ready the following morning, and they may not be ready until late the following night. Be prepared for that, and don't count on the Smooth Beans for any of your meals in the interim. If the beans are done before that, then that's a pleasant surprise. Have I said this enough to drive my point home? Be patient with the beans!

Oh, and don't worry about the gas factor. If you cook the beans thoroughly enough, you will do away with much of that. This is not the time to think raw foods, or even cooked to crisp-tender. Not to digress too much, but it is actually dangerous to eat some beans that have been insufficiently cooked, especially kidney beans. If you want to look it up someplace, have at it. In the meantime, just trust me and let your beans COOK THROUGH.

Additional aids to good digestion are pure commons sense your Mama taught you if you were raised in the south. Keep mealtimes pleasant and strife-free, relax and eat slowly, chew with mouth closed, take small bites and chew each bite well WITHOUT washing down half-chewed food with a beverage. These motherly mandates are not merely good manners. Following them helps avoid swallowing air with the food and allows the saliva time to partially digest it before it gets to the stomach. This means the stomach and intestines will have an easier time of it, which means YOU will have an easier time of it. Also, drinking lots of water between meals is especially important when eating fiber-rich foods such as beans.

Hearteningly, the more often you eat beans, the more your digestive system will become accustomed to them and will process them more efficiently. It's best to eat small portions of beans with other foods frequently, rather than eat none at all and suddenly eat a great quantity of beans all by themselves.

Another tip to head off possible bean digestive problems is to sip a cup of peppermint, lemon balm, ginger, fennel or anise tea immediately after a bean meal. These are all carminatives, which is a fancy-schmancy word that means they cut down on heartburn, bloating and farts. There, I've said the word.

No matter what anybody else says or does, please DO NOT pour out and change bean soaking or bean cooking water at any point, and do NOT add baking soda. You're wasting or destroying significant amounts of nutrients either way. Don't we need all the nutrients we can get?  Isn't that why we're eating beans, besides the marvelous flavor, that is? I say open a window or go take a walk if it gets too odoriferous and let's get over ourselves.  What's a little methane amongst friends?

My recipe for Smooth Beans is fairly simple and is typical of other refrito recipes I've seen, except for the much lower fat content. I've substituted meat stock for some of the fat generally used. I've seen recipes that call for as much as 1/2 cup of fat with 30% fewer beans than in mine. That is insane! Not to mention, the extra fat makes the beans harder to digest, and at no beneficial trade-off. The meat stock gives enough flavor that the fat is not missed, and the beans are far more digestible and healthful for the body. Not that I always care deeply enough about that issue to avoid something scrumptious, but I try to make good food choices now and then. I'll save my fat calories for where it counts, like butter on my bread!

For those who are texture-sensitive, like some four-year-olds, these smooth beans have no discernible bits of anything but bean in them. This is intentional. The garlic will cook into a puree even if it is in big chunks, but the onion will not unless you chop it finely and exercise some restraint on quantity. The oregano leaves disappear. If you're interested in a chunkier, spicier bean dip with recognizable "stuff" in it, do a search here for my "bean dip." The Brae's Smooth Beans recipe produces nigh unto a baby food-textured paste, which is precisely what that little cowboy wants.

Barbara G's Somewhat Virtuous Refried Beans (aka Brae's Smooth Beans!)

3 cups dried beans of your choice (pinto, cranberry, mixed beans, black)
1/2 cup finely chopped onion
2 garlic cloves, chopped
1 large sprig fresh oregano or about 1/2 teaspoon dried leaves
1 bay leaf
1/4 cup concentrated meat stock (1 cup normal strength reduced)
1 tablespoon rendered meat fat (chicken, beef, pork, bacon, sausage)
1 teaspoon chili powder
1/4 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon jalapeno pepper sauce
1/4 cup milk
salt to taste

Sort through the beans and toss out any deformed or broken ones, or any non-bean oddities you may find. Rinse them thoroughly in clear water and dump into a medium-sized slow cooker. Cover them to two inches above the beans with filtered water. Add the bay leaf, the sprig of oregano, onion and garlic and nothing else! Cook on High for two hours.  Open the lid and stir the beans to see if they need any water. If they've swollen above water level or if they're so tightly packed in that they cannot move freely as you stir them, then add a little more water. Don't be too stingy with the water at this point. You can cook it all out later. Now put the lid back on, turn it to Low, and don't even lift the lid for at least six hours or so.

Cook the beans until thoroughly smushy done, no matter how long it takes. It may take 10 hours; it may take two days. It takes what it takes. The beans are done when they have exploded themselves into the liquid and appear to have mashed themselves obligingly.  After about six to eight hours of cooking, open the lid, scrape the sides and bottom of the pot and stir it up well. Taste a bean. If it gives any resistance whatsoever to the tooth, keep on cooking them. None should be entirely whole and none should be at all crunchy. They should not make any sound on the spoon as your stir them. Don't be gentle with the stirring. You WANT them to fall apart into a mass of viscous mashed beans with a few barely discernible bean skins throughout. If it's not quite there yet, but the beans are too thick to cook evenly, then add a little water. At this point, don't add any more water than necessary, because what you add now will have to be cooked out in the skillet, which means a longer time of standing and stirring.

What you will have to pay careful attention to at this point is whether or not you are scorching the beans. This is especially true with the newer slow cookers that run so hot--grrr! All I can tell you is to keep checking the beans often and keep stirring them up from the bottom and scraping the sides. It may help cool it some to prop the lid up on a wooden spoon. You may have to remove the lid entirely to keep it from scorching, and add more water to compensate for the evaporation if it's losing liquid faster than it cooks. I've even added water in the form of an ice cube or two to slow down the cooking on a couple of the jack rabbit fast "slow" cookers. A big clue that it's too hot is if the beans are at a bubbling boil on the Low setting.

Once the beans have fallen apart, fish out the bay leaf and the oregano stem (if you used fresh), and stir in the stock concentrate, meat fat, chili powder, cumin, pepper sauce, and milk. Taste for seasoning, and add more if you want it spicier or hotter. Do NOT add much salt, as the salt already in it will become more pronounced as the liquid evaporates. Turn it all out into a big non-stick skillet, and cook on medium heat until the beans reduce into a thick mass about the consistency you'd want a good bean dip that won't break a chip. As it cools, it will become much thicker so that it doesn't form a runny puddle on the plate, but sits up proudly instead. If the beans are still too intact for your preference, then have at them with a potato masher until they are as pureed as you want.

Do NOT leave the beans alone at this point. Even with a non-stick skillet, you will have to stir the beans almost constantly, scraping the bottom to keep them from sticking and burning. This is especially true because we took out most of the fat in the usual refried beans recipes to make it a little better for us. It is worth the trouble! You won't have to stir for long, as it reduces fast. Once it starts spitting hot bubbles at you with whooshing sounds like it's alive or something, it's ready.

Turn off the heat and let it cool a little. Taste it for salt now, and add more, if needed. More liquid will evaporate off while it cools. Continue to stir every few minutes to help it along, and to stir the drying surface back into the mixture so it does not form a "skin" on top. Serve warm, but not piping hot. Hot Smooth Beans mimic lava in their propensity to burn the flesh off your mouth.

Yield: about 6 cups of bean heaven

To Serve: Use pretty much as you would a dip with corn chips or toasted pita wedges or crackers, as a sandwich spread, rolled up in flour tortillas for burritos, as an ingredient of 7-layer dip, as a sauce for rice or happily straight out of a bowl with a spoon, a la one of our favorite four-year-olds--with or without a cornbread muffin.

To Store: Refrigerate immediately for use over several days, OR dish up into meal-size freezer-safe storage boxes and toss into the freezer for impromptu snacks and meals.

Cost: Depending upon the bean, anywhere from $1.50 to $2.00 for the whole big batch. If you can get your ingredients at loss leader sale prices, even less! I got my beans on close-out special for $.25 per 1-pound (2-cup) package, so with the other ingredients, mine cost a total of about $.75 for the batch.

One caution about using black beans in this recipe is that they are very strong-tasting. Some may may experience it as a metallic after-taste, or as one certain four-year-old asserted, "It starts out yum, but then it gets disgusting." So much for tact, but what do you expect from a pre-schooler? His point is valid, too, because black beans contain a higher percentage of iron than many other beans.  I don't find the mineral taste unpleasant, but that's just me. It tastes like cast iron skillets, which taste like home.

Many traditional black bean soup recipes include carrots and a good many potatoes, and I suspect it's partly for sweetening and mellowing the iron afteraste. On the other hand, for those who experience most beans as bland-tasting may prefer using black beans or even adzuki beans for Smooth Beans. For one whose palate has been in this world a mere four-about-to-be-five years, pinto beans or cranberry beans are just the ticket. No use rushing. He has plenty of years ahead of him to try them all.

Frugally yours,
Barbara Houston Garrett
www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/barbaragarrett

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Slow Cooker Oatmeal for Hurried Mornings

2011-04-04T04:58:00.000-05:00

Oatmeal, a cheap, tasty breakfast that cannot be beat nutritionally--well, unless you pick up what passes for oatmeal at a drive-through! We all know it's best to make our oatmeal at home for best food value and to save a few bucks. Besides time constraints, the problem is that instant oats simply do not taste that good, have meager portions and those wimpy little packets are still not cheap compared to good, flavorful, old-fashioned oats. Old-fashioned oats require stovetop stirring, make a mess in the pot and take too much time out of a workday morning. Microwaving is a good option, but there's still a certan amount of pot/bowl-minding, because the oats take just as long to swell and absorb water as they do on a conventional stove-top. Although it CAN be done while scurrying about trying to head out the door to work, there's the decided risk of microwave oatmeal volcano, which makes my head hurt just thinking about it. What to do?

The slow cooker comes to the rescue! It's so easy to throw together the ingredients the night before, it's almost as good as having a live-in breakfast cook....almost. I hear the protests and yes, I've made oatmeal in slow cookers before and did not like it, either. It formed a dried-out skin on the top and stuck to the sides in thick scorched nastiness that was a total pain in the patootie to scrub out. That is so NOT a good way to start any day!  Still, the method had promise. Slow cooking developed the whole grain flavor better and the texture was softer than microwave oatmeal , all without the dreaded microwave oatmeal volcano.

So I've done a little tweaking and I've come up with a slow cooking oatmeal technique I think you'll like. It delivers tasty oatmeal with very little dried-out skin on top, and is a boon to busy mornings. It has all the nutrition of rolled oats, but with the ease of instant oats. To ease you out the door in the morning, it's a good idea to set up an oatmeal "station" the night before. After you set the oats on to cooking, go ahead and get ready for serving it the following morning. Set out the butter, brown sugar, bowls and spoons so that your sleepy family members can just grab, scoop it out and go.

This recipe serves three, or two if they're really hungry...or one, if it's a teenage boy! Keep the ingredient proportions the same and experiment with your own slow cookers until you find compatible sizes for the amount of oatmeal you need on any given day. Most of the time we make the small recipe, but sometimes we need leftovers for baking. The day before our twice-monthly bread baking day, I make a big batch of oatmeal using my 7-quart slow cooker and a large Pyrex bowl. I'll omit the fruit and spice, but otherwise keep the ingredients the same. It yields plenty of plain oatmeal to eat for breakfast and leftover oatmeal (planned-over, really!) for enriching our yeast loaves.

An aside on dried fruit:  We buy strawberries when they're in season and cheap, slice them and toss them onto our dehydrator trays. We do the same with apples, but they require a bit more pre-treating with acidulated water to prevent browning. Blueberries do well that way, too, but you'll need to poke a tiny hole in them with a toothpick OR simply freeze them first to craze the skins and allow for even drying. These are all fabulous things to have on hand in the pantry for baking, but no better use for them than in this oatmeal breakfast. If you're interested in preserving food this way, you may download a free recipe book at http://www.nesco.com/customer_support/owners_manual_download/english/ You can use your oven if it will set as low as 190-200 degrees, but a dehydrator is more flexible and economical. I have the little Nesco Snackmaster and adore it. And no, I don't sell for them.

Another great part of this method of cooking oatmeal is that since the cereal is cooking in the Pyrex bowl instead of the slow cooker liner, clean-up is easier. The heavy, cumbersome slow cooker liner itself does not need that much washing; certainly no scrubbing. Just a quick swish with soapy water and rinse and you're done. The Pyrex bowl goes into the sink for a quick soak in hot soapy water, a few wipes and it's clean; OR it goes into the dishwasher and takes up very little space compared to that liner!

Barbara G's Slow Cooker Fruity Creamy Oatmeal

1 1/2 cups old-fashioned rolled oats
1 3/4 cups water
1 1/2 cups milk
1 teaspoon cinnamon (or other spice complementary to the chosen fruit)
1 cup frozen fruit (peaches, strawberries, cherries, blueberries, blackberries )
OR
1/2 cup dried fruit (apples, figs, raisins, cherries, strawberries, blueberries, cranberries, apricots, peaches, prunes) plus 1/4 cup extra water
OR
1 cup chopped fresh apple or pear

Fit a medium-sized Pyrex bowl into the liner of a large round slow cooker to which about two inches of water has been added. The bowl may touch the water or it may even come up the sides of the bowl a little, but the bowl should not be floating in it.

Add to the Pyrex bowl the oats, water, milk, cinnamon or other spice, and choice of fruit. If you use dried fruit, make sure to add the extra 1/4 cup of water.

Place a snug-fitting saucepan lid on top of the Pyrex bowl. Make sure the fit is tight, as this helps prevent the skin forming on top.

Put the slow cooker lid on top of this set-up, and cook on Low for 8-9 hours. If you're going to bed late so that the oatmeal won't cook the full 8-9 hours, then bump up the heat to High for the first hour and then knock it back down to Low for the remainder of the cooking time. If you have one of the newer slow cookers that runs hot, you may not have to do this.

In the morning, carefully remove both lids to avoid steam burns. Stir the cooked oatmeal to distribute fruit evenly and to blend in what little skin is on top. If desired, adjust consistency by adding more milk or water, or simply allow eaters to adjust it on their own. The bowl of oatmeal pictured above is shown with a splash of milk and a sprinkle of brown sugar.

Yield:  3 servings

Cost: This entire recipe cost me about 55 cents, or eighteen cents per serving.  Fruit is the major cost, so try to shop in season to get the best deals.

To get a better picture of what I'm talking about on the special pot set-up, let's take it backward and deconstruct what I've done. Here's what the finished set-up looks like. Perhaps I should work a little harder at removing the stains on the pot, but oh well. Let's call it slow cooker "patina." You'll notice the knob is gone, but the slow cooker itself still works great, so we just use pliers to change the setting. It reminds me of the old days when we had to use pliers to change channels when the TV knob broke. Black and white, too. Remember that? If you don't, just hush. You're younger than I am and it ain't polite to rub it in.

The Frankenpot set-up looks complicated, but it isn't. The more astute of you will notice that this lid does not belong to this particular Crockpot. Those of you who happen to have this particular Crockpot are smiling understandingly. That lid was a piece of crap, wasn't it? I borrowed this lid from a Dutch Oven. A word to the wise: NEVER throw away lids to saucepans or any kind of cooking pot. One never knows when, say, her supposedly heat-resistant plastic Crockpot lid will break into smithereens.

A complete aside on pot lids, totally NOT about oatmeal: Different pot lids have varying amounts of clearance. Some time when you're already in the kitchen, find out just how many pots and skillets all your lids will fit. It might even be a great project for the kids. The lid that came with your slow cooker may not be the best one to use if the chicken you bought is a tad too large and won't allow the lid to seat properly. If the lid does not meet the slow cooker lip, then your food won't cook like it should, and may not even cook safely. Of course, you COULD just whack up the chicken to fit. Why do that, though, when the lid from one of your Dutch ovens fits it perfectly and allows for the extra chicken bulk?

And now, back to the oatmeal set-up deconstruction. Take off the big lid to reveal the lid I borrowed from my Revereware saucepan resting snugly inside the rim of the Pyrex bowl. Whatever you use, it should fit tightly into the rim of the bowl, which will help avoid the yucky oatmeal skin situation. You may use a heat-proof plate, but it makes for trickier removal in the morning to avoid steam burns. If you go that route, use tongs and a potholder to protect your fingers and arm.

Now remove the little Revereware lid and here are all the ingredients inside the Pyrex bowl: water, milk, cinnamon and frozen peaches all stirred up and ready to cook. Observe the level of liquid here. That's about right. The oatmeal won't expand much, but about two inches of space will give you enough leeway to lower and raise the bowl out of the slow cooker. If it happens to sit on TOP of the liner rim instead of nesting inside, then this is less of a concern. In that case, you'll just have to use a knife to pry up the bowl. It is best to let the oatmeal cool before removing the bowl at all. If you're headed out the door, just scoop up whatever oatmeal you don't eat into a plastic storage container and toss it into the fridge. You can deal with the Pyrex bowl when you get home from work. Not to worry. The mess will soak out easily enough.

Next we show just the peaches, cinnamon and rolled oat flakes inside the Pyrex bowl, which is resting above a little water inside the Crockpot liner. You can see the water level in the Crockpot liner a little more clearly here, before I put he milk and water into the oats.

And yes, we like a little oatmeal with our fruit. This recipe gives 1/3 to 1/2 cup of fruit per serving. If you prefer less, then add less! If you want more...you'll need a larger Pyrex bowl!

If you're like me, though, you'll probably slice up a banana on top of even this fruity oatmeal recipe, or maybe a handful of fresh blueberries or strawberries. I'm not sure it's possible to get too much fruit on top of my cereal!

So there--that's one more quick and cheap make-ahead breakfast for you. It'll get your day started off right with excellent fiber and at least one serving of fruit; two if you fix it my way! Y'all have a blessed week!

Frugally yours,

Barbara Houston Garrett

www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/barbaragarrett

Sadistic Peanuts Love to be Cruel

2011-03-28T23:56:00.000-05:00

WARNING: THESE PEANUTS ARE NOT FOR EVERYBODY! Oh, honey, these are hot peanuts! Absurdly hot, if you ask me. However, my opinion was not what mattered in this situation. I wanted to make a special gift for a family of dear friends, all of whom possess cast iron stomachs and who adore fiery hot foods.  Concerning one precious lady, in particular, I accompany many of my food gifts to her with a bottle of Habanero sauce. She is not at all a fussy eater, but no matter how hot I make the dish, she invariably needs it hotter to make it palatable. I honestly don't know how she has any tastebuds left in her mouth.

It was that ever-present bottle of Habanero sauce that inspired me to come up with this wickedly hot recipe. Now I myself thoroughly enjoy the occasional plate of nachos loaded with jalapeno slices, chopped raw onion and a clove or two of chopped raw garlic. I do like some heat. However, these peanuts go light years beyond the scope of heat found in my humble plate of nachos.  My wimpy self got choked up from stirring the peanuts while they were roasting, the fumes were so strong! Further, whenever I taste-tested a few peanuts--and I do mean ONLY A FEW--I got hiccups and a subsequent upset stomach.  When all was said and done, though, my friends loved those peanuts and wanted the recipe. Whew. Success!

So here it is. You have been warned.  My Sadistic Honey Habanero Peanuts are not for the timid. Don't come whining back to me that your mouth is on fire...or the other end, for that matter.

Barbara G's Sadistic Honey Habanero Peanuts

2 lbs. raw Spanish peanuts
1/4 cup Habanero pepper sauce
3 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
1/4 teaspoon each onion powder and garlic powder (NOT salt)
2 teaspoons salt
1 tablespoon honey

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

In a small bowl, combine the pepper sauce, butter, onion powder, garlic powder, salt and honey. Stir until the mixture is evenly blended. If the honey won't mix in, you may have to heat it up a little.

Spray a large non-stick baking pan lightly with non-stick baking spray. Pour in the peanuts. Drizzle the pepper sauce mixture over the peanuts and stir to coat each peanut with the mixture. Roast until the nuts test done, stirring with a wooden spoon every 15 minutes, or about 45-60 minutes total. You must taste one to be sure! Stirring is important, to help the peanuts roast evenly and to prevent scorching as the sauce dries on them.  Try not to dislodge the little red skins from the peanuts as you stir.

When a peanut tests done, remove the pan from the oven and let it cool on a rack. For the first hour, gently stir every 15 minutes to keep the nuts from clumping together or sticking to the pan as they cool.

Yield: 2 pounds of sheer hell on the tongue

When thoroughly cool, pile the peanuts into glass jars and store refrigerated up to about 2-3 weeks.  Allow them to come to room temperature before serving. If you've just made them, they should be fine at cool room temperature for the first 24 hours.

Safety Note: Please advise your guests not to rub their eyes while eating these peanuts, and to wash their hands before AND after going to the bathroom. That's all I'll say about that delicate matter.

Variation for wimps like me: Substitute a mere 2 teaspoons of Louisiana Hot Sauce for the 1/4 cup Habanero sauce asked for in the recipe. Since there is much less liquid, pay special attention to stirring, as these will dry out sooner and may stick to the pan before they're done.

Another option: You may omit the honey for a slightly different flavor profile. It won't be hot sweet, it'll just be hot.

Other nuts: I have not tested this recipe using other nuts, but I think they would be especially tasty done up with pecans, almonds or cashews, or even mixed nuts, if you can find them all raw. If anybody wants to do that and report back to me, I'll include your comments here. As for me, my mouth and tummy need a rest.

Cost: When I made these at Christmas-time, raw Spanish peanuts were $2.00 a pound. The entire 2-lb. recipe ran about $4.55, which is a LOT of peanuts for not much of a cash outlay. I have no idea what amount should constitute a serving, so you're on your own there.

As usual, no, I do not mind at all if you want to pass around this recipe to your gastronomically masochistic buddies who crave torture by fire.  I give a respectful nod to all my Cajun friends, so please be kind and refrain from jeering too loudly in my tender-mouthed direction. I can't help myself. If you do grab my recipe, be a gentleman/lady and include ALL of the recipe and comments, especially my entire signature line. Give credit where it's due! Besides, this particular lady sacrificed some mouth and lip skin to the cause of developing the recipe. The least you can do is help her make a living getting other folks legal assistance. I mean! : )

Frugally yours,
Barbara Houston Garrett
www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/barbaragarrett
See what we offer in YOUR state.

P.S. Oh, and in case any of the beloved family mentioned above wants to chime in here--likely about how hot these peanuts are NOT and what a weinie I am--then I good-humoredly welcome your comments. Otherwise, you remain totally anonymous. : ) Many grateful hugs to y'all for how good you've been to me.

FREE Seed Starter Pots from Newspaper

2011-03-24T17:54:00.000-05:00

No matter where you live, it is time to start seeds for your Victory Garden RIGHT NOW! Heather, I am talking to you! Even if it's only a few pots of basil, wheat grass, thyme and parsley in a sunny windowsill, that's something. Growing any amount of our own food not only connects us to the soil meaningfully and gives us the freshest possible produce, but it also regularly shaves dollars off our grocery bill. The only trouble is, if we do not watch out, the cost of seeds and gardening supplies can far outrun any possible profit. That does not have to happen. I'll discuss other frugal gardening measures all along, but today we're going to talk about seed starter pots. I welcome additional tips and any corrections from my frugal gardening friends, of which I know there are many, and with far more experience than I!

My rule on gardening and many other things is "Don't buy if you can make it with what's already on hand." I was raised by Depression-era grandparents who drilled into my head the mentality of "Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without." It was such a sacred phrase, I would have sworn it was a direct quote from The Holy Bible; most likely from Proverbs. Even to this day, I have trouble throwing away anything if there's the slightest possiblity I can re-use or re-purpose it. I must be careful or the clutter will overtake me! Yet and still, we are not about talking useless clutter here. I regularly "shop" my storage room, bins, totes and closets, which has saved us a bundle during these economically wild times. Even in better times, though, I aim to be a good steward of my God-given resources.

Seriously, though, when we're talking about starting seeds, how much better will seedlings grow in something store-bought "pretty" than something I tossed together from junk? Exactly! So here it is, instructions for free seed starter pots, all for the price of the time it takes to fold them. And no, I did not even buy the newspapers. A friend was about to trash them. Here is the very best youtube video I've come across to demonstrate how it's done-- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNBHYrv4-Gw

If you're starting seed indoors, this pot is the perfect size for a stepping-up pot once the seeds have germinated. If you decide to start the seeds in them directly, you'll have to watch the moisture level carefully. With a larger pot like this, it's easy to flirt with damping off disease from keeping the soil too wet while you're trying to ensure that the seeds get enough top-level moisture to germinate properly. You can help avoid this if you will use a sterile seed-starting mix, fill the pot with dirt all the way up to the very top, and can keep a fan moving the air across the seedlings. The fan blowing on them will also make the little stems stronger.

Kate's pots are more rectangular than mine, so either her newspaper is sized differently from mine or I'm doing something wrong. Regardless, mine serve the purpose, so that's what we're using! Trust me, the pots look way more complicated to make than they really are. I recommend watching the video with a half sheet of newspaper in front of you, and make each fold as she does. Once I got that first pot right, muscle memory took over and I found I could work them off very quickly while watching TV....both with and without the help of my cats. In fact, I found a shortcut in omitting a few guideline folds, but I won't even try to explain how I did that. You'll figure it out on your own. Omitting them does make for a slightly sloppier pot, BUT it enables you to turn out the pots faster. KitKat, above on the ironing board with one of my newspaper pots, really enjoyed sticking her head into them. She likes to try to fit herself into small spaces, which I totally do not "get," but then I'm not a cat.

Here's a close-up view of the pot that's pictured with KitKat above. It's 3 1/4" square...more or less.

I trimmed a few straggly edges off some of the more sloppily/hastily made pots, but you probably won't find that necessary. The little ear flap things were worrisome to me, as they would catch on each other in the trays and try to unfold themselves, so I used tiny bits of masking tape to hold them down. That was more acceptable to me than either stapling them or using plastic tape, as the paper tape will biodegrade best.

The finished size of the pots obviously is determined by the size of the sheet of newspaper that you use. These pots are from our Mississippi Clarion Ledger, which is a standard-size newspaper. Depending upon how careful I am folding them, the finished pots run from 3 1/4" to 3 3/4" square. If you want smaller pots, either cut down each sheet or use sheets from a smaller, community-type newspaper.

Now there is another way to make newspaper starter pots which involves rolling a folded sheet around a drinking glass or a bottle-- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VW4t_6dTAvA. You may also buy a gadget for that purpose, which I think is completely silly. If we are gardening to be frugal, then let's don't buy a bunch of non-essential tools and toys. Beyond that, I don't care for these rolled up pots that much. Their bottoms are not stable and they are round, which means they don't fit together on a tray as well as squares. In fact, they don't even hold themselves together at all unless you tape them very securely or immediately wedge them together into a tray. I prefer good solid bottoms on my starter pots. However, these rolled-up pots are faster to turn out than the folded pots, so that's a vote in their favor. Use what works out better for you.

A good point Ms. Galloway brought up is about easing the plants out of the pot before planting them outside into the ground to avoid them being root-bound. Newspaper does take quite some time to disintegrate completely, and you want those young, tender roots to spread out effortlessly. If you can ease the pot off without disturbing the roots, then do it. Otherwise, I find it sufficient to VERY CAREFULLY slit or tear the square pots down the sides, tear out the bottom a bit and just slip it all into the planting hole. I have not used the round newspaper pots, but I think you could easily unwind them if they don't slip off easily. Definitely toss the spent pots onto the compost pile. They are fabulous "brown" matter to help balance your "green" kitchen waste. For a nice chart on which is which, here you go-- http://www.joyblooms.com/gardening/brown-green.htm

Whatever you use, JUST GO PLANT SOMETHING! I mean it. Right now. Have fun getting your hands dirty and growing something good to eat. I cannot wait to hear all about it from you.

Oh, and one more word. My three kitties said to tell you that if you have cats, especially strictly indoor cats like they are, you need to plant something special just for them. A small pot each of catnip and cat grass will do for starters. Any combination of wheat, oat or barley grass will be fine. They will love you for it. They will also expect you to keep it up from this day forward.

Frugally yours,
Barbara Houston Garrett
www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/barbaragarrett

MYO Muffins to Avoid McKing Disaster Breakfasts

2011-03-21T20:08:00.000-05:00

Breakfast is our weakness, isn't it?  Bleary-eyed and pressed for time, we grab the fastest thing to sate our hunger and to get us out the door and off to work. Way too many times, that means drive-through. The problem is that we pay BIG for it in budget and in health.  Some quick math turns up a stunning figure on how much those fast-food breakfasts add up over the course of a month. Three bucks may not seem like much for one breakfast, but add it up over 20 work days and that's a month's worth of premium cable or a tank of gas! Well, maybe half a tank today. Add to that injury the insult that one single kingly ham-and-cheese croissant or McBiscuit may contain all the fat you need for two or three days...hmmmm. We won't even start with the mystery additives. We know we could eat that same breakfast at home for a fraction of the cost and possibly better for us nutritionally, we feel bad about it, AND YET, we keep doing it. Time doesn't get easier to handle, and there certainly isn't time to make breakfast on weekdays. That's our story and we're sticking to it...and yet, the guilt hits. We know we SHOULD do better.

So what to do to break the time crunch cycle that drains our wallets and expands our waistlines? A boring but simple strategy: 1) Plan ahead. 2) Cook ahead. 3) Resolve to avoid the fast food lane. Period. There is a way out.

With that thought in mind, I'm breaking my fast on blogging with an apology to my faithful followers and a promise to do more blogs focused on breakfast, since how we start our mornings tends to dictate the rest of the day. Most especially, I will focus on feeding us more healthfully and getting us out of the house (or to the home office?!) faster in the mornings. Now that doesn't mean I won't include some sausage biscuit-type offerings in there--I will--but they will be better for you and cheaper than drive-through! Muffins will be a mainstay, because they are such a marvelous vehicle for all kinds of nutritious add-ins.

Speaking of which, here's a nice one for starters. Most people seem to have heard of Morning Glory Muffins, but not as many know that The Muffin Lady, Linda Fisher, is their creator. There is only ONE true Morning Glory Muffins recipe, and that is Linda's. Here's a link to her original recipe, before it got changed by others along the way and adulterated with other ingredients-- http://www.pulist.net/the-muffin-lady-muffins-cupcakes-and-quickbreads-for-the-happy-soul.html I greatly admire this single mother for her enterprise, hard work and dedication to providing for her child without taking welfare. We could all learn a few lessons from her on self-reliance and personal responsibility.

Oh, and by way of addressing the changes people have made in Linda's muffin, it is my humble opinion that coconut is completely wrong in this recipe, as are raisins. If you're going to use coconut, then omit the carrot, and you'll pretty much have pina colada muffins. If you insist upon the raisins, then omit the pineapple. Certainly do not add ALL of those ingredients and then throw in some pureed pumpkin, to boot. I found one recipe calling itself Morning Glory Muffins that did just that. Oh, brother! There's just way too much going on, and I doubt you'll enjoy eating a concoction like that. My opinion, of course. Take it or leave it.  They're your muffins and you have to eat them...or the birds do.

By now, I myself have made so many changes to Linda's Morning Glory Muffins recipe that it's not even recognizable as a starting point. Nevertheless, I give Ms. Fisher a grateful nod for inspiring my own Fruity Nutty Muffins.  Here are the changes I made and why:

1. Sugar/fat - I found the original recipe had entirely too much fat and sugar in it for my nutritional comfort or taste. The mouthfeel was greasy and it was more what I consider a very sweet cupcake than a muffin. I backed off from both sugar and fat and found it much more to our liking for a breakfast bread. It's still plenty sweet, so if you want to subtract even more sugar, you probably won't miss removing 1/2 cup more from the total recipe.

2. More Pineapple - I wanted the potential of a tiny piece of fruit with every bite, so I nearly doubled the pineapple.

3. More Nuts - I doubled the nuts, for the same reason as with the pineapple. With the original recipe, nuts were so much in the background as to be unnoticeable.  We've used and enjoyed both walnuts and pecans. Almonds or cashews might be nice, but I think peanuts would unbalance the flavors.

4. Whole wheat pastry flour - The originals are made with all white flour. I wanted a heftier, more flavorful mix that was higher in fiber.  I tried oat flour in assorted amounts, but any amount of it in this already bulky recipe made for a dry, non-cohesive muffin that fell apart with one bite. Whole wheat pastry flour won out. I added slightly more baking powder to adjust for the increased burden whole grain flours put on a batter. I also raised the ratio of flour a bit, mainly to compensate for the added liquid from the extra pineapple. I did not want to waste the juice or have to store it in the fridge where it would be forgotten and would turn into a science project. Call it lazy or call it frugal, but extra flour was needed.

5. Nonfat dried milk powder - I added powdered milk, not only because I like how it mellows the flavors, but also because it increases the protein and calcium content. You may omit it if you like, and without ill effect. The flavors of the fruits, carrots and nuts will stand out a little more individually, and the muffin will be a bit less substantial and filling.

6. Flax seed - I added ground flax seed because I wanted to up the fiber and nutrition. I add it to nearly all of our baked goods. Flax seed seems nigh unto magical in health-giving properties, plus it adds its own nutty flavor. It also helps take up some of the moisture from the extra pineapple.

7. I changed the mixing method to a simpler one-bowl muffin method and did it by hand with a wooden spoon, sans electric mixer. I did beat the eggs with a whisk in a smaller bowl, so I guess technically that's TWO bowls, but I did not have to drag out my mixer and dirty my beaters.

On the cost: I bought the apples in season, the flour, sugar and pineapple on a seasonal loss leader sale for baking ingredients, but pretty much everything else was normal, everyday grocery store cost.  The entire huge batch of 48 muffins ran about $12 .00, or $.25 per muffin. That's a lot of cheap breakfasts!

In the morning, grab one of these muffins out of the freezer first thing. By the time you're running out the door, it'll be thawed and ready to eat. Carry along a banana or tangerine that you set out the night before as a go-with and a travel cup of coffee or tea, and you're set. You'll not only feel better with this under your belt, but also a tiny bit smug that you did not bow your wallet and your body to a McWhatever meal. Go, you! You're free-e-e!

So here's my recipe. Enjoy.

Barbara G's Fruity Nutty Muffins

These muffins come together fast once all the ingredients are at hand AND the prep is out of the way. For time's sake, you may break the job into two days.  Dump the pineapple into a lidded storage container, stir in the grated apple and carrot, and tuck all into the fridge to bake up the following day. The pineapple juice keeps the apple from browning, and all seem to benefit from the soak. Do chop the nuts by hand. A food processor gets the pieces too fine and you risk making nut butter! The muffins taste better after an overnight sit, so don't hesitate to run up a batch before bed for next day's breakfast. Just throw a cloth over the rack of muffins as they cool, so that they don't dry out overnight. Toss what your family doesn't grab for that breakfast into gallon-size zipper-seal bags (usually takes us three) and drop them into the freezer. They freeze very well, so halve the recipe only if you must.

5 cups whole wheat pastry flour (NOT bread flour)
2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
3 tablespoons baking powder
1 tablespoon baking soda
2 teaspoons salt
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1 1/2 teaspoons freshly grated nutmeg
3/4 teaspoon mace
6 medium carrots, grated
3 medium apples, grated
2 cups mildly-flavored salad oil like canola
2 1/2 cups granulated sugar
1 20-oz. can crushed pineapple (juice included)
2 cups chopped nuts
2/3 cup powdered milk
1/2 cup freshly ground flax seed
7 large eggs, beaten

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Fit muffin papers into four 12-cup medium-sized muffin tins, or prepare to work baking relays with two tins.

On a sheet of waxed paper, combine the flours, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, and mace. Use a spoon to stir and combine the ingredients until all are distributed evenly.

In a very large bowl, combine the pineapple, apple, carrots, nuts, ground flax seed and sugar. Stir in the powdered milk until it dissolves completely in the juice, with no lumps.

Add in the beaten eggs and stir to combine all ingredients very well.

Add the dry mixture to the wet mixture about one third at a time, until dry ingredients are incorporated and batter is a very thick, gloppy mixture. Do not stir any more than is necessary to incorporate all the dry ingredients evenly.

Using an ice cream scoop, fill the muffin cups 3/4 full. The batter is very thick and will not rise a great deal, so there's little worry of spill-over. Bake for 20-25 minutes, or until muffins are golden brown and a toothpick stuck into one does not bring out very wet batter. Do not over-bake, or the muffins will be crumbly and as dry as sawdust.

Let muffins cool in the pan about three minutes and remove them to a rack to finish cooling completely before serving. If you prefer warm muffins, then re-warm them after the initial cool-down. This particular whole grain batter seems to need the cool-down to finish cooking properly, or they will be gummy and taste raw.

Once completely cool, store the muffins in a closed container at room temperature for up to 24 hours. After that, freeze for later use.

Yield: abt 4 dozen medium-size muffins, costing about $.25 each.

A note about flax seed: Flax seed in its unbroken form keeps best in airtight storage for about six months or so. However, the nutrients are not available to your body unless the seed coat is broken. Since the volatile oils in flax seed go rancid rapidly after the seed coat is broken, flax seed should be ground up immediately before use OR it should be stored in the freezer once ground. In other words, do NOT go buy a bag of already ground-up flax seed meal. It is already rancid and has lost significant nutrients by the time you purchase it. A regular household blender works well for grinding small amounts at a time, or use a food processor to grind a larger quantity at once.

A fat-lowering tip: Substitute one cup of sugar-free applesauce for one cup of the oil and back off the sugar by 1/2 cup to make it 2 cups of sugar. Also, you may substitute 8 egg whites for 4 of the whole eggs (8 egg whites, 3 whole eggs). The muffin will still be good, but it will be denser and slightly less tender.

Although I've reduced the fat from the original recipe, my main recipe is still NOT low-fat as is. However, it is polyunsaturated fat, what nutritionists call a "good" fat when taken in moderation as part of a balanced diet. The fat helps keep the muffin moist and tasty, and keeps us feeling full. Made according to my main recipe, you'll get about 1 1/2 tablespoons of oil per muffin, so please don't butter it! With the applesauce subbing for half the oil, you'll reduce it to a bit more than 2 teaspoons of fat per muffin. If you're on a restrictive diet of any kind, do the numbers yourself and discuss it with your nutritionist and/or doctor.

Peace out, y'all. Eat well, eat cheaply and have fun! Let's make sure to take time out of our busy-ness to love on our family and friends and to be sweet to them. It's how they perceive our love that counts, you know, not our good intentions or how we might "feel" about them at any given time. Let's don't miss out. We never know when the last time we talk to or see them might be THE last time on this earth. Hugs! I have to go work on my next blog now, which involves using urine for fertilizer. I know right now that some of you are going to be grossed out and offended, while others are going to be elated and enthusiastic. You know who you are. I ain't naming names.

Oh, and yes, it is not your eyes that are the problem. I have done something odd, to where it looks like the copy is highlighted. I cannot figure out how to remove it, but I've done the next best thing, which is to pick the closest color to the default background color that it will allow me to use. Maybe I can figure it out after I've posted to the blog; maybe not, especially if fixing it means I have to edit HTML. Argh! : \

Frugally yours,
Barbara Houston Garrett
www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/barbaragarrett

Quick Banana Snack Cake Two Ways

2010-05-27T14:06:00.000-05:00

Although I suppose ANY cake is snack-worthy, what I think of as snack cakes are everyday cakes that don't throw on any airs about themselves. Often, they are cheaply made with ingredients found in the pantry. They're not layered, fancily decorated, and usually are not even all that pretty. Nobody could call rugged, ragged, sturdy snack cakes pretentious. What they ARE called is delicious.  I suppose, in the vast and often intimidating and ostentatious world of cake baking, snack cakes are warm, friendly, accessible little rednecks.

Moreover, snack cakes are generally made quickly by a one-bowl method or possibly even stirred up right in the pan. By bakers, this one-bowl method of mixing a cake is dubbed The Muffin Method, as opposed to The Creaming Method. It probably should be called The Tired Mama Method.  You may bake up time-consuming angel food cake and quadruple layer tortes some other era...like when the kids are grown, you come into your inheritance, retire, have a maid, or otherwise find yourself with loads of leisure baking hours. Meanwhile, snack cakes will keep you out of the unrighteously expensive bakeries, and even the pricy and chemical-laden cake mix aisle. Further, if you have children or ravenous teenagers, snack cakes can be a real budget saver!

You likely will see many of my thrown-together snack cake recipes here on the blog, because they're often inspired by a particular ingredient that I'm trying to use up. Here's one, along with my possibly unorthodox technique for throwing it together in order to dirty up the least number of implements. You can save even more on dishwashing if you'll make a habit of storing a measuring cup in each of your flour and sugar canisters. I'm reckless enough that I even measure the salt, cinnamon and baking soda in the palm of my hand rather than dirty up a measuring spoon. I've baked enough years, though, that I well know what a teaspoon of something looks like. I also pour the vanilla into the wooden mixing spoon in what I know is a teaspoon's worth. I've been known to guess on the buttermilk and oil and just pour them in, too, but I do not recommend that. It's really taking a risk. Yes, I really detest washing dishes, and I am no perfectionist with snack cakes.

Cost: About $1.02, for flavor far better than a cake mix, and with no chemical after-taste or stale flavors. No fake banana-flavored flakes, either. I did get everything on some kind of sale, which takes a little pantry planning, and I do keep a never-ending culture of buttermilk going. You just about cannot beat the price with even the best bargain on cake mixes. Besides, with store-bought cake mixes, you'd still have to add eggs and oil or butter. Those are two of the most expensive ingredients, which would up the cost.

So we have quick, tasty and cheap--what's not to love?! Oh, and as always, feel free to bandy about my recipe and all to friends and family. Just please do me the courtesy of attaching ALL my recipe and notes, plus my name and the Pre-Paid Legal Services link. A girl has to make a living, plus I like to keep the gates open for feedback all across the board.

Barbara G's Quick Banana Snack Cake

1 1/2 cup whole wheat pastry flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspooon ground cinnamon

2 ripe bananas (about 1 cup)
1 cup granulated sugar
2 eggs
1/3 cup buttermilk
1/3 cup canola oil (or other mild-flavored oil)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Glaze or topping: 1 cup baking chips: butterscotch (our fave!), vanilla, peanut butter, milk chocolate, or semi-sweet chocolate OR 2-3 tablespoons powdered sugar

If baking conventionally, preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Either way, spritz with non-stick spray an 8" square metal pan (conventional) or 8" square glass pan (microwave).

On a sheet of waxed paper or a plate, mix together until thoroughly combined the flour, sugar, soda, salt and cinnamon. Set aside.

Put the bananas in a large bowl. Using a potato masher, mash them up until mostly smooth and any lumps are small. Add in the eggs and sugar and continue to mash/stir to break up the eggs completely. Add the buttermilk, oil and extract. Switch to a wooden spoon and stir until the mixture is well-blended.

Mix in the dry ingredients until no dry spots remain and then stir briskly for about 2 minutes, or until most of the lumps are gone. The batter should be thin enough to be poured easily; not at all gloppy. Pour up immediately into an 8" square metal brownie pan (conventional); or the 8" square glass pan (microwave).

With both baking methods, if you plan to omit the baking chip glaze, then let the cake cool completely before sifting powdered sugar over the top. For best results, do this just before serving, as the powdered sugar tends to melt into the cake and not be as pretty. Oh, and you will see me going on and on about letting the cake sit overnight before cutting it. It IS better that way, but it's also quite tasty right out of the oven, with no more gilding than maybe a smear of good, unsalted butter. Oh, yeah.

Conventional Oven: Put cake into preheated 350 degree oven and let bake about 30 minutes, or until golden brown and edges start to pull away from the side of the pan. A toothpick inserted should come out clean, UNLESS you jab an actual piece of banana. Remove from the oven and immediately sprinkle with baking chips, if using. Return the pan to the oven for about 30 seconds and then remove it. Use an offset spatula to spread the softened chips across the top in a thin layer. Let cool in the pan until glaze has set and is slightly firm. It will be even better if once it's cool you cover it with foil and allow it to sit overnight undisturbed.  Carefully cut into squares or rectangles with a thin, sharp knife, trying to avoid shattering the firm glaze.

Microwave: Cook on High for 5 minutes, rotating halfway through or using a turntable to keep it revolving (best). Take it out and look at the top. If it's barely moist with about a 2" circle in the middle comprising a very thin layer of wet batter on top, it's done. If it's very wet or if the circle when touched reveals some degree of depth to it, put it back into the oven and microwave it in 1-minute increments until it looks like described above. If in doubt, UNDER-cook it. Many people grossly over-bake cake in the microwave, as they forget that it continues to cook once it's out of the oven. If you cook it until it's totally dry on top, it will be nearly inedible. It doesn't take much to over-bake a cake like this. I'm talking mere seconds.

When it's ready as described above, take it out and place it immediately on a solid, heatproof surface like a wooden cutting board. Cover with an upside-down plate (the flour plate?) and let it sit to finish cooking itself for 2 minutes. If using chips for the glaze, uncover and sprinkle the chips over the top and return the cake to the microwave. Microwave on High for 30 seconds. Spread softened chips over the top to cover in a thin layer. Don't worry about it if the moist crumbs pull up a bit and mix with the glaze. It's a snack cake! Return the cake to the heatproof surface to set for at least an hour, but better overnight so that the glaze is really firm. When glaze firms up, it's ready to eat.  Carefully cut into squares or rectangles with a thin, sharp knife, trying to avoid shattering the firm glaze.

Yield: 10-12 squares or rectangles, at eight to ten cents a serving

For storing longer than 24 hours, you will need to freeze or refrigerate the cake. My own trick is to wrap each rectangle airtight in that special plastic wrap that sticks to itself and everything else, and freeze the cakes flat. When frozen pile them into gallon-size zipper-seal bags for quick retrieval. Thaw each piece of cake in the wrapping on a plate about 30 minutes, OR just grab one and head out the door or toss it into a lunchbox. Then peel back the plastic to eat.

Of course, all banana cakes and breads taste better the second day, but this is one baked treat that seems to taste better after having been frozen. How cool is that?! I also have it on good authority of certain children that they're not that bad straight from the freezer, but I prefer them thawed myself.

Which way should you bake it? It depends upon your priorities. The flavor is great in both. The texture of the microwaved cake will be slightly fluffier, spongier and give a higher rise than the other. If you don't overcook it, it will have the soft texture of steamed pound cake you may have eaten at Oriental restaurants. If you overcook it...well, have you ever gnawed on a foam mattress?

Cooking it conventionally will give a caramelized crust and a firmer texture than microwaved. This crust and firmness make spreading the softened chips a bit easier than on the soft-top microwaved cake. Time-wise, the microwave finishes at a little over 6 minutes. Conventional is 30-40 minutes, plus 10 minutes for pre-heating, so it does heat up the kitchen a bit. The microwaved cake seems to dry out faster than the one baked conventionally, so take extra care to keep it tightly covered.

An extra-frugal tip: When you're so pressed for time that you cannot even whip up this recipe, freeze your ripe bananas by squishing them out of the peel right into quart-sized zipper-seal bags, mashing them flat and tossing them into the freezer. If you freeze 4 bananas in a bag at a time, it will be easy to break off half for one recipe. If you have time, squeeze in a little lemon juice and mush it up to prevent it browning. If not, don't worry about it. It'll look darker when it's cooked, anyhow.

Frozen banana dessert tip: If you do a LOT of ripe banana rescues from stocking up on those little marked-down bags of bananas at the grocer's--I do!--then very soon you're going to find yourself over-stocked with bags of frozen bananas. Work off your supply by using them as a quick, refreshing summer dessert. Break off chunks of frozen banana into dessert bowls and squeeze a little chocolate syrup over each serving (see recipe in earlier blog posts). The kids like it as much as they do ice cream, but it's far better for them. It's also better for them than this banana snack cake, but we're not going to start that guilt trip.

Ooops on wa-a-ay over-ripe bananas: All is not lost. Do not toss them into the trash! If you have not started one already, start a compost heap/trash can. Bananas make a dandy potassium contribution, which your vegetables and herbs will love. If you add enough shredded newspaper and maybe a sprinkle of dirt, and then stir it from time to time, it won't stink and your neighbors will be none the wiser. No vegetables or herbs yet? We have to talk. Maybe next time.

Frugally yours,
Barbara Houston Garrett
www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/barbaragarrett

TRIUMPH: My Redneck Trellis/Sunshade!

2010-05-07T21:01:00.000-05:00

I realize I'm woefully behind on blog entries. My apologies. I've been busy DOING things. I promise to make it up to you soon. You may see in these photos some of what I've been up to, and I'm sure you'll agree it manifests redneck genius at its finest. All modesty aside, of course.

The mission was to make a sunshade for that East-facing window to block the hot morning sun, which I hoped would reduce my power bill by cutting the need for air conditioning. Moreover, I did not want to spend money for the fix. It's not truly frugal if in order to save money, one has to go out and BUY something. I'd run out of plastic litter buckets cum planting pots, so I pressed into service a few cardboard boxes holding bags of dirt and then plopped in some pre-soaked Scarlet Runner Beans.

End result: the beans apparently appreciated the pre-soaking head start. They popped out of the ground a few days from planting and then sprang to their leafy wonder above in a little over a week, as per the first photo. The second photo was taken about two weeks later, so it's clear the beans have truly taken off. I believe they're going to do a creditable job of shading that window. We'll see.

Oh, and the trellis strings are threadbare strips torn from an old bed sheet strung through holes poked in the boxes and tied to fence rails on the opposite ends. As for the cardboard box planters, I'm sure they'll do well to last out the season, but they're hanging in there better than one might expect. The idea was to make the most of whatever I already had on hand to create a sunshade AND to have something to eat to show for my work. So far, the mission is progressing admirably. If/when we reach sunshade success, I'll put another photo in here to prove it. If we don't....well, we'll see how willing I am to own up to failure.

Speaking of interesting pots for container gardening, I do have other better planters in service out where people can actually SEE them. Even rednecks have a modicum of pride. Most are kitty litter buckets I've painted to cover the logos and in which I've drilled holes for drainage. I do so enjoy drilling holes in things that I suppose I've become nigh unto dangerous with my electric drill. I blame menopause for my increasing interest in power tools. I'm ever so glad to be on the other side of that monster transition period, but there still are pitfalls. Declining estrogen has made me vulnerable to the foibles of the other gender. Nonethless, that has its perks. My electric drill has enabled me to convert all manner of containers into planters to grow things we can EAT. Ah, manliness and its pragmatism. I bask in it.

However, I've run across an article now that reveals to me that I may also step delicately back into my gentler side of sewing skills and talents in order to make up a conversation piece that's practical, as well. Yin/yang, what a delicious balance! http://sew-whats-new.com/photo/my-answer-to-topsy-turvy Is this a fine example of redneck innovation and whimsy or what?! I am woman, hear me roar...rather, purr softly.

My daughter, reading this over my shoulder and already a bit testy about the bathtub out back that's growing pumpkins and sunflowers, saw the tomato-sprigged jeans photo and said, "No. Just no." Eh, what does she know? She's still walking on that strictly feminine 28-day cycle side. With both in full bloom... or whatever... I'm now proudly on a 24-HOUR cycle. I can manifest badly under the influence of either set of hormones if I so please. Perhaps I should ask our Pre-Paid Legal lawyers to prepare my defense in case I do something really dumb, and to inquire as to which set can make a better case.

Oh, and dear readers, if any are so inclined as to get huffy over thinking I'm being gender-biased--pfft! Maybe I am poking gentle fun at all of us for occasionally hiding and copping out behind gender stereotypes. Honestly, though, even if I were being totally serious, how smart is it to tick off a menopausal lady armed with both a sewing machine AND a power drill? I mean, really. Grrrr. ;D Ah, go plant something. Yes, ma'am...sir!

Frugally yours,

Barbara Houston Garrett

www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/barbaragarrett

POLYNESIAN-STYLE PORK SURPRISE

2010-02-25T17:16:00.004-06:00

When I saw the one-pound pork tenderloin in my grocer's marked-down meat bin for $2.50, I snatched it up. Pork tenderloin is usually too expensive for my budget, but that was a great price and the meat looked good, nice and pink, and no suspicious bulges to the cryovac-wrapped package. It was perfectly good food.

An aside about marked-down meats: Some people hesitate to take advantage of their grocer's marked-down meats. Don't. If it's available for sale at any price, it's likely perfectly safe to eat.  So what it boils down to is one's own comfort level. For me, the more highly processed the meat (bacon, bologna, hot dogs, sausage, deli meats), the less I'll accept in the way of off-colors or slightly bulging packages. I also give them less leeway on expiration date. I just about will NOT get marked-down ground poultry unless it looks really, really good and is just barely pushing the expiration date, because that stuff already starts out iffy. It may be perfectly safe to eat, but it doesn't take much to exceed my personal comfort zone with ground turkey and chicken.

I'm also unforgiving on fish, because it spoils so rapidly and tastes rank before it's actually dangerous to eat. I won't eat fish if it has even the slightest tinge of an off flavor, even freezer burn.  If I cannot have fresh-fresh fish, I want to buy it frozen fresh. Marked down chicken, either parts or whole, merits caution. If it's yellowish and/or swimming in blood, it's a no-go. On beef or pork cuts, brown doesn't bother me, unless it's so brown it looks like it's been cooked! Browning on ground beef and pork--or even the whole cuts--simply means that oxygen has gotten to it and that's inevitable. You'll see less of that on cryo-vac packed meats than shrink-wrapped meats. I won't buy ANY meat that's had its plastic covering torn. Yuck! Of course, if it smells bad at all, no matter how well it's wrapped, do not get it. We all know what rotting meat smells like. Don't eat it! No amount of cooking will fix that.

One more thing about marked-down meats and we'll move on: ALWAYS cook it or quickly repackage and freeze it as soon as you get home. Just by virtue of the fact that it's marked-down means it's been out in the display case longer than the other meats, so there's bound to be more going on there bacteria-wise. Do be wise about it and halt the process of decay. The best option is to cook it as soon as you walk in the door, and then freeze it in meal portions if you don't want it for meals that day.

If you freeze it raw, you must remember that until it's frozen, things on it continue to grow. Then when you thaw it in the refrigerator instead of cooking it from frozen (as you CAN do with ground meat, for instance), bacteria will reactivate; possibly to unsafe levels before you're able to cook and eat it. You need to be diligent about safe handling all raw meats; even more so with marked-down meats. There's no need to avoid them and the savings they bring. Just stay on top of it and never, never, EVER let any kind of raw meat thaw on the kitchen counter. Cooking cannot kill ALL bacteria. Okay, aside over.

So, my marked-down pork tenderloin in gleeful hand, I had in my mind to prepare a dish I saw Robin Miller do on Food Network. I thought I had the other ingredients needed at home. But no. For some reason, I had it in my fevered brain that it was a pineapple pork recipe. No, it had an apricot sauce, the sauce being made of apricot preserves. There was nothing even close to that in my pantry. Well, dried apricots were there and I could turn them into apricot butter, but that's an entirely different flavor and texture than apricot preserves. That would not only make an entirely different sauce, but an entirely different dish.  I certainly was NOT getting back into the car to waste gas and time solely to purchase apricot preserves. I had my mouth set for a sweet sauce for the pork and I wanted to serve it over jasmine rice, but what? Hmmm...and so, a recipe evolved that wound up not even remotely resembling that original pork dish. Surprise!

BARBARA G'S POLYNESIAN-STYLE PORK SURPRISE

1-lb. pork tenderloin, cut into 1" chunks
salt, black pepper
3 tablespoons canola oil, divided
1 very large green bell pepper, cut into 1" chunks
1 large onion, cut into 1" chunks
3-4 garlic cloves, sliced
1/4 cup soy sauce
1/3 cup light brown sugar
1 20-oz. can pineapple chunks
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
red pepper flakes (optional)
1 teaspoon toasted sesame oil (optional)
1/2 cup chicken stock plus extra, if needed
3 tablespoons cornstarch

Sprinkle the cubed pork with salt and pepper. Set aside.

In a large skillet on medium-high heat, stir-fry the bell pepper and onion with 2 tablespoons of the canola oil. Pour out in a bowl.

In the same skillet and with the remaining canola oil, sear the cubed pork until all sides until just brown, but meat is not quite done. Add the sliced garlic and stir fry until fragrant. Add the brown sugar, ginger, red pepper flakes (if using), toasted sesame oil (if using), soy sauce and pineapple chunks with juice, and turn the heat down to medium. Cook for about 3 minutes, stirring every 30 seconds, until meat is cooked through.

Make a slurry of the cornstarch and chicken stock. Temper the slurry with a little hot liquid from the skillet and then stir the mixture into the skillet until the sauce thickens. Do not cook the whole dish more than about 2 minutes more at this point, and do not let it boil hard. Vegetables should remain crisp-tender.

As soon as the sauce thickens, add the peppers and onions back into the skillet and stir gently to combine. The pork and vegetables should not be dry or gloppy, but loose and pourable like a marinara sauce so it'll settle nicely into the rice. Taste the sauce for balance. If desired, add more soy sauce, brown sugar, ginger, or even more hot pepper flakes to correct seasoning to your taste. Differences in amount of meat and sizes of the onion and bell pepper may imbalance the taste or consistency of the sauce, so make adjustments as desired. If the sauce is too thick, add a little more chicken stock.

Serve immediately over rice, preferably jasmine, but any long-grain rice will do nicely.

Yield:  6 servings

The cost: Made with marked-down meat, bulk rice, loss leader pineapple and onion, the big splurge was paying a full $1.00 for the out-of-season imported bell pepper. It was worth it! The whole meal, rice included, came to just under $5.00, and made six generous servings at about 83 cents each. That's stretching a pound of meat to where each person gets a little over 2 1/2 ounces apiece. That's sufficiently substantial so that the eaters won't feel slighted, but enough to make a big difference in cost AND saturated fat.  We used a full cup of rice for each serving, but you may prefer a little less, and maybe add a salad. Do use a large bell pepper and onion or use more than one each, because you're depending upon the bulk to fill out the sauce. I would definitely serve this to company, too. It doesn't taste like you're pinching pennies.

Freezing: It is acceptable to freeze the pork sauce in zipper-seal bags in meal-size portions. I think it's best to make the rice fresh. Plan to eat the pork sauce within 1-2 months for best flavor. When ready to serve, thaw it in the refrigerator overnight, and heat just until bubbly and hot throughout. If you boil it or cook it too long, the cornstarch will break down and the sauce will thin out. This is no great tragedy, as the rice will still absorb the sauce nicely, but is not optimum. After freezing, the bell pepper and onion will no longer be crisp-tender, but will still be plenty tasty.

The biggest surprise was that not only did the dish NOT wind up where I started, but that it tasted so delectable! That is not always the case with my culinary sidetracks. We won't talk about the Rumaki that I couldn't make because I didn't have the water chestnuts OR the bacon I thought I had, but which evolved into Creamed Chicken Livers that the cats wouldn't even sniff, much less eat.  "HOW can you be stupid enough to mess up chicken liver?!" they accused. Ah, shaddup. If you had opposable thumbs, you'd do worse.  And with that image of feline chefs and food critics, I believe I'll bring this to a close.

This Polynesian-Style Pork is now one of our favorite meals. Whenever I find a pork tenderloin on sale, that's likely how it'll wind up, until I make it so often we get sick of it. I'll try to make sure I have the proper ingredients on hand so that maybe I won't mess with it further.  But you never know...leaving well enough alone was never one of my strong suits. ; )
Frugally yours,
Barbara Houston Garrett
www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/barbaragarrett

DE-STINKING FABRIC AND MAKING RAG RUGS

2010-02-18T00:26:00.001-06:00

Recently, I was going through a Freecycle find (http://www.freecycle.org/) of several large black trash bags full of bed linens. Frankly, I was disappointed. I wasn't sure it had been worth my gas and time to pick it up. Much of it was mildewed beyond rescue. The rest of it stank nauseatingly of stale cigarette smoke, wet dog and various bodily fluids (human? animal?), and I'm not sure what else. I seriously considered closing up the bags and putting them right to the curb, with apologies to the trash men. Then I re-considered. I'd come this far and invested this much time in it. Why not give them a chance? And so, out on the sun porch, closed off from the house and with a window open, I cautiously gutted the bags and sorted piles. I was very careful not to let any of that mess touch me or my clothing. When I say it stank, I mean it made me gag, and I have a fairly strong stomach. Anybody who's had an inhome daycare for 20 some odd years has learned how to eat, drink and carry on with all kinds of odors in the air. This was wretched bad. And yes, I should have worn gloves, because the stink clung to my skin despite many hand washings. Yep, that bad.

So this is what I did. First, I made sure there was no solid matter wrapped up in the linens. Uh-huh, ew-w-w, but you never know, and I certainly did not want to wash a lump of... whatever... in my machine. I then loosely filled the washing machine tub with like colors of linens. Loosely, because I wanted to allow them plenty of room to agitate sufficiently to dislodge all the mess.  I ran them through a preliminary cool-water rinse. Next, I washed them in the hottest possible water, adding nearly double the usual amount of home-made laundry cleaner (see my files). I ran them through a normal rinse cycle, and then did an EXTRA rinse with a cup of white distilled vinegar added. If that particular load still stank (most did), I skipped the dryer and sent them through another hot wash cycle and two rinse cycles, the last one with yet another cup of white vinegar. Even the stinkiest loads were smelling sweet by then. Now if I had a clothesline, they would have gone there to dry. The sun would have helped purge them of all their sins. But I don't, so I didn't.  I hope to correct that soon, but I digress.

Only when the linens were freshly dried and clean could I even begin to look at them closely and see if they were usable. My disappointment renewed when I saw that most were threadbare-thin and pilled horribly. They all seemed to be at best a 50/50 poly-cotton blend, which is not great for quilts in the first place. A 60/40 can be workable if tightly woven enough, but 100% cotton is best. The trouble with these is that whatever cotton had been there once upon a time had mostly worn or dry-rotted away, leaving behind the polyester base. Although the polyester is usually still fairly strong when this happens, the grain is very loose and wobbly, and will therefore not serve well even for foundation piecing. Phooey.  Out of all those bags of linens, I got maybe four or five bed sheets that were remotely promising for piecework, even with cutting around the rips, tears and stains. That's still four or five sheets that were mine for the laundering, so I was grateful.

So what to do with the rest? With the cotton part gone, they weren't absorbent, so they couldn't even be used as throw-away cleaning rags. Was it time to write off as a loss all my time, cleaning supplies and water from washing them? Was it kick it to the curb time? Nay, nay, my dear frugal compadres. I suddenly realized I was looking at most excellent rag rug bones! But of course!

Usually my rag rugs are a last-ditch effort for junked-out clothing that nobody would wear because of stains, rips or the like. Most of what we wear is 100% cotton, so it's perfect for rag rugs, and is nicely absorbent for that purpose. However, I do work in "bones," as well, which is my word for any fabric that has strength to it, regardless of absorbency. For instance, there probably is no other legitimate use for 70s-era double-knits outside of rag rugs. They're not at all absorbent, but those rugged strips help hold together the more absorbent parts and they wear like proverbial iron!

As for how-tos on making rag rugs yourself, I bow to the experts on this. My efforts are strictly primitive. I don't care that much about design in them, and am content to have anything to show for all the rags. These do eat up many yards of fabric. I remember on one one small door mat style rug I used up nine voluminous dresses and three large tee-shirts.

For equipment, you can go as expensive as you dare in the real professional looms, or as cheaply as you like and knock one together yourself with 2' x 4's and nails to hold the warp threads or strips. You can see I've pressed my daughter's old crib side into service as MY loom. You may also weave on any of a number of rectangular surfaces, like a piece of plywood, a large picture frame, a dresser drawer or even a simple piece of cardboard, as per this most excellent stop-motion video-- http://www.wonderhowto.com/how-to-weave-cardboard-loom-239221/ You'll be using fabric instead of yarn like in the video, but the principles are the same.

One word about what you use for warp. If you use string, as I did here on this rug, make sure it is a very heavy rug-weight type of cotton string and that you pull it very taut on the loom. Even so, the string is going to be strained in the washing machine, and will eventually break. It would be best for long-term use to back your rag rug with a rectangle of edge-finished heavy scrap fabric, which will more equally distribute the weight of the wet rug. You'll have to hand-sew it on, because no sewing machine needle will go through that rug!

This afternoon, before I had a chance to post this, I received the generous help of a 7-year-old in rendering one of the sheets into strips. First I tore off enough of the sheet to get a straight-grain edge, and then I clipped into the selvedge every 2" for the remainder of the sheet. I tossed it to her with the instructions.

"You mean, I get to TEAR it?!?!"

Indeed. All of it. Disbelief gave way to delight, and she wasted no time working up a real sweat ripping away at that sheet. It was an hour well-spent by both of us as she happily tore the strips. I sat nearby, rolling the strips into tight balls. Once again, Tom Sawyer got that fence white-washed, and Jordan had an interesting story to take home to her parents. She'd also tell them what we're going to do with that oddly-shaped chunk from the first tear: shred it to bits and put it out in the trees for bird's nest building material. Spring is around the corner. They'll be needing it soon.

"Can we do this again tomorrow?"

We'll see, honey. I felt almost guilty for a moment there...but it passed. We'd both enjoyed each other's company while doing something otherwise boring. We did something together that was meaningful on a personal level, but which held global potential. We were making something for the home that would help protect it and beautify it. Door mats keep dirt from grinding down carpet fibers or destroying floor finishes. We were recycling. We were being thrifty. We were making the most of our resources and not simply running out to buy, buy, buy.

Further, she'd learned that even a simple task like tearing a piece of fabric requires care and technique. For instance, if you tear it too fast, you'll knot that sucker up so fast it takes you three times as long to untie the knot before you can proceed tearing it the rest of the way. Not that she cared all that much one way or the other about the wasted time, or any lessons she might be learning. She's seven. She just enjoyed the one-on-one time and the attention. Well, heck. Don't we all?

A post script. This was done Day Two. As Jordan came in the door after school, her first words were asking if we could rip some more sheets. She...WE...had just as much fun the second time as the first.

Frugally yours,

Barbara H. Garrett
www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/barbaragarrett

MICROWAVE CHOCOLATE BOILED COOKIES/CANDY/BLISS

2010-02-14T12:32:00.000-06:00

On this Valentine's Day--and every other holiday, for that matter--my thoughts turn to chocolate. I have come to the stage of personal development where, if chocolate is not brought to me by admirers, then I assume full responsibility for that important duty myself. To do otherwise is to risk chocolate deprivation, and that simply will not do. I will provide my own self with the needed chocolate, and not think twice about it.

Further, there are times when a lady must have chocolate RIGHT AWAY, for any number of highly individual reasons. Sometimes she is in a place where she is able to share them, and sometimes...well, she simply cannot. Either way, that's when these delectable confections come in handy. Since you don't bake them, they're made more like candy than conventional cookies, but then they're not quite that, either. Where you'd expect flour, you find rolled oat flakes instead. We call them various names in our home: Chocolate Things, Chocolate Boiled Cookies, Poop Pills, or our favorite, PMS Pills. A little dose of chocolate, a little sugar, and girl, you are feeling human again.

Whatever you decide to call these things, they are GOOD. My grandmother made them in a saucepan over the stove, and although it did not take too long to make them as cookies go, my microwave method gets them to the mouth even faster. In fact, start to finish, it'll take only a little over thirty minutes. Further, there is no burned-on sugar to scrub out of a saucepan; no messy sheet pans as with conventional cookies. The hardened stuff soaks out of the glass bowl in your sink with soapy water.   One bowl; two spoons. Go ahead and put me into your will. I could use the money.

Adding to the pro side, you get nice flavenols with the cocoa, peanut butter is a high-quality protein, and oatmeal packs a hefty fiber punch. What a tasty way to get your oatmeal! A word of warning, though. I'm accustomed to a fairly high-fiber diet. Even so, three of these cookies with a cup of coffee can have me headed to the bathroom at a fast trot...ergo, the moniker of "Poop Pills." I suppose that's a little too much information in a food article, but please do refrain from eating these right before heading into heavy traffic! On the other hand, if things are moving a bit sluggishly, Chocolate Things would seem far more preferable than chemical-laden laxatives with unpleasantly unpredictable results... if you get my drift. I am trying to be delicate.

On the decidedly con side of these chocolatey little nuggets is that, yes, they are FULL of sugar and fat, albeit not entirely empty calories. So be moderate, my little Valentine. ; )

On the cost: I spent about $2.00 for this one batch, or 5 cents per cookie. I bought the oats in bulk and got everything else except powdered milk when it was a loss leader sale at a grocer's. I've never been able to find powdered milk on sale anywhere around here.

Big preparedness tip: stock up on powdered milk! Milk is supposed to increase in price by about 40% this coming year. Keep it cool, dry, airtight and out of any light and it should easily last a couple of years. The packets will keep long-term the best of the usual commercial offerings, as opposed to the boxes of loose-pack powder.

Enough about all that! Let's get to the cookies!

Barbara G's Chocolate Things /Chocolate Boiled Cookies/Poop Pills/PMS Pills

2 cups sugar
4 level tablespoons powdered cocoa (6-7 for more of a dark chocolate taste)
1/2 cup milk (I use 1/3 cup milk powder for more calcium and a scant ½ cup of water)
1 stick butter*
3 cups quick-cooking oats (I prefer old-fashioned; only slightly chewier)
1/2 cup peanut butter* (creamy is best, IMHO, but use what you have)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract (the real thing, no imitation!)

*(I like it more peanut butter-y, so I use only 1/2 stick of butter and 1 full cup of peanut butter.)

Directions:

Most important step--put a small plate up in the freezer to chill before you do anything else. Trust me on this. You will thank me. Then lay out a large sheet of waxed paper, parchment paper or freezer paper (shiny side down) on a wire rack. You won't have time later. I prefer the freezer/butcher paper.

First, get out your largest microwaveable GLASS bowl. Do not even attempt to use plastic, even hard plastic that's usually acceptable in the microwave.  This stuff gets to nigh-unto-lava temperatures and can melt even the hardiest of plastics--seriously. Mix sugar and cocoa together; and stir in milk until mixture is smooth. Dump in the butter and nuke about a minute on High stirring once when the butter melts but before it boils.

Continue to microwave on High until it boils. This won't take more than a couple of minutes, so do not leave the kitchen! You cannot get distracted and then just pick up where you left off on this recipe. Once you start microwaving it, you're at the point of no return. Now, when it starts boiling around the edges in earnest, start counting slowly up to 100 (One-Mississippi, two-Mississippi), OR time it for 1 minute and 40 seconds.

Carefully remove the bowl from the microwave and stir in the oats until each flake is coated with chocolate. Then stir in the peanut butter and vanilla until no peanut butter streaks remain.  Work quickly, but take care not to slosh. Once it goes from shiny and wet to dull and matte, you’d best stop stirring and start scooping. It will get hard fast!

Retrieve frozen plate from the freezer. Using the same technique as with drop cookies, dip up a tablespoon of the dough and use another spoon to dislodge the dough onto the freezer paper to "drop" it. Drop as many cookies as will fit on this plate; return the plate to the freezer.

Continue dropping the rest of the cookies onto the freezer paper.  Work quickly. If they set up too fast to drop without crumbling, you'll have to roll them in the palm of your hand to make truffle-like balls. I do this, anyhow, because I like this look better than the raggedy edges you get with dropping AND because they crumble less in storage. Storage--ha! Like they hang around that long.

Now the hard part is you have to let them cool and set up until firm, which can take an hour! But do you wait? No, because you put a plate of them up in the freezer. As soon as you clean up the mess you just made and put the bowl and spoons on to soak in the sink, the cookies in the freezer will be ready to eat.

Yield: about 40 cookies

Variations:  Add 1/2 cup chopped, toasted pecans with the oatmeal; substitute other nut butters like almond or cashew for the peanut butter.

Storage: preferably in the refrigerator, especially if you're going to keep them for more than a couple of days, or if the ambient conditions are warm. I have no idea how long they'll keep refrigerated or even frozen, because they've never hung around here longer than a week.

Greed warning: Do not attempt to double this recipe, especially not in the microwave. Even if you can find a bowl large enough that it won't boil over, it won't set up right. It's better to make two regular batches. Make one batch for yourself first, so you'll have the strength to make another batch for your friend/Valentine.

Safety Warning: This stuff is blistering hot at the liquid stage. Make sure all children and pets are OUT of the kitchen while you're making these cookies, or at least keep them out until you get to the part of forming the balls or dropping them onto the paper. Additionally, it would be a good idea to to keep a small bowl of water with ice cubes in it nearby. If you slosh some chocolate lava onto your hand, dunk it into that bowl immediately.

Texture Test: You have made them just right if the cookies have a grainy, crumbly texture, similar to old-fashioned fudge. They should NOT be chewy-gooey at all. If they are, then you added too much milk or you did not cook them long enough, or the day was extremely humid. Don't toss them, though! Even like this, they are perfectly delicious eaten by the spoonful...or fingerful.

Rainy Day Note: Sometimes these cookies don't do well on rainy days UNLESS you adjust the microwave cooking time by a few seconds. I suggest that you cook these the first time on a dry day and carefully watch the mixture boil. You'll get an eye for exactly how the mixture looks when it's ready. You won't have to cook it for more than a few seconds extra, so do be diligent to watch and do not wander off. Sadly, there is no rescue for burned chocolate, which can happen at lightning speed in the microwave.

So, hugs to you on this Valentine's Day, our holiday of celebrated love. Let's enjoy it by doing loving things for ourselves and for others around us. Whether it's with a gift of these Chocolate Things or other affectionate gestures of a possibly less caloric nature, let's do something fun to celebrate and bless our relationships with the precious people God has put into our lives. Even better, let's do it not expecting anything in return. After all, it's not a gift if it has a string attached. Let's simply enjoy the privilege of being able to love others, and to have others love us. Ain't that a kick, all by itself?

Frugally yours,
Barbara Houston Garrett
www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/barbaragarrett

BOXES, PRETTY BOXES, ALL FOR FREE!

2010-02-09T01:49:00.000-06:00

Well, maybe they're not exactly free, because the tissues certainly do cost something, but the gift boxes that can be made from them are free for the making. So that's something. Living here in hot, humid Mississippi, where allergens from pollen to mold abound, I sometimes feel like we support the facial tissue industry. Now and then I consider making up a few dozen cloth hankies and laundering them, which WOULD be more sensible, but then I relent and go back to paper. Maybe someday, but not today. In our family, between our three cats and all the critters we encounter in the pet sitting business, we go through quite a lot of tissues. We want one particular brand that seems softest to our tender noses. Although this is not the cheapest brand, we buy the boxes in a pack, which gives us a few cents' savings. Every penny adds up these days.

So, after the last tissue is used and discarded, we're left with this box embellished with any of a number of pretty decorator prints. It seems such a shame to toss it out. So we don't. We keep a few tucked under our kitchen and bathroom sinks to hold the many plastic bags we accumulate from the grocery and dollar stores. We just stuff them right into the empty boxes. Each box will hold an amazing number of those bags. Then when we need a bag to--line a trash can, poop scoop, clean up the car, double-wrap raw meats for the freezer to avoid contamination with cooked foods, hang a baked good on a neighbor's door, drop by some magazines for a shut-in friend, hold a pair of muddy shoes, send home kids' clothes wet from a water balloon fight, or any of the number of things for which a disposable plastic tote-style bag comes in handy, it's there. We just grab any part of a bag nearest the top of the tissue box and one comes out. Plastic bags are never one-use-only around here, and this easy method of storing them in tissue boxes helps ensure that their second time around...or third... or fourth... is easily accomplished.

BEYOND ALL THAT, if you're like us and still are producing oodles of empty tissues boxes, I have a little project for you to do with the prettiest of the boxes which will considerably delay their departure to the landfills. We're going to make little lidded gift or trinket boxes from them. These precious little boxes are a great rainy/snowy day project for older children, and maybe a TV time busy-hands project to keep you out of the chips and dip. When finished, they are perfect to contain small gifts like jewelry and other doo-dads for which you never never seem to be able to find a small enough box.

These cute little boxes are also just the thing for holding quarters for the laundromat or toll booth, pocket change meant for the savings account, jewelry, mad money, stamps, buttons, nails and screws, playing cards, checkers, board game pieces, McToys, mints or sanitary products stashed in the office desk, or to keep a handful of facial tissues clean in a book bag or back pack. You may also line up the box halves inside desk drawers to act as divider containers for paper clips, rubber bands, stamps and the like. Likewise, lipsticks, eye shadows and other small make-up containers are corralled in the vanity. Besides all that, I have it on good authority that the little boxes make excellent beds for tiny baby dolls, with a mattress made from a folded orphan sock.

MAKE YOUR OWN GIFT BOXES FROM TISSUE BOXES

1. Use up the tissues. Easy, especially with children.

2. Next, use a fine point permanent marker to draw cutting lines on the box, as illustrated. I usually eyeball it, as I did here, but I'm not a perfectionist. If you are, then measure from one end to the widest part of the opening and use that to draw the depth line all around the box on both sides.

3. Now, with a sharp pair of UTILITY SHEARS (NOT your good dressmaker shears, please!), and using your marked lines as guidelines, cut out the center section of the tissue box. An X-acto knife or box cutter probably would make a neater edge, but I haven't figured out how to do that without slicing myself. You'll want to cut off the marker line so that it's on the scrap middle piece, not the two box pieces Cat assistance is optional.

4. Neaten up any jagged or obviously crooked edges. You will have them. It is surprisingly difficult to cut a straight line on that wiggly, lightweight cardboard box. Just don't over-do the edge neatening. Keep in mind that every tiny bit you cut off the edges is making that gift box shallower.

5. Decide which box half is to be your box bottom, and which is to be the lid. Usually, one half is a little prettier than the other. Save that for your lid, which will enclose most of the bottom half.

6. Assemble gift box by gently depressing one of the sides on the bottom to buckle it slightly so that it fits inside the lid. These are my daughter's hands. See, even a 22-year-old can do it. Yup, I will pay for that remark.

7. There, you have it. Enjoy your "free" little gift box! If you cannot think of anything to put inside it, hand it off to your children. They will have plenty of ideas on what to do with it. You'd best have one for each child...with their respective names on them, too. Somebody's idea of what to do with the box is sure to lead to its early demise. For instance, yes, the boxes WILL float...but only once. It's a good thing they're so quick and FREE to make.

You're looking for empties now, aren't you? It's not a crime to consolidate tissue boxes just to try this project. : ) Go for it, and enjoy feeling proud over adding one more easy and fun way to re-use and recycle to your repertoire.

Frugally yours,
Barbara Houston Garrett
www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/barbaragarrett

HOT COCOA MIX and Counting My Blessings, esp. for Donna!

2010-01-29T00:10:00.005-06:00

My dear friend Donna from the Tightwad message group Emails me about once a year, requesting my hot cocoa mix recipe. I'm pre-empting that with this blog in case she's mislaid the recipe. Donna, if you're reading this, I've revised the instructions a little from last year, but the basic recipe remains the same. If it ain't broke...

I enjoy curling up in front of a blazing fire with a cup of hot cocoa right before I go to bed. It's my signal to unwind, unplug and reflect.  The tryptophan in the milk combined with the warmth is soothing and I feel my muscles untense and relax. This encourages me to breathe more slowly and deeply, an exercise I'm told lowers the blood pressure in and of itself. The chocolate has flavenoids that also assist in that regard, and are marvelous antioxidants. Plus...well...it's CHOCOLATE, which is its own justification.

As I stir the warm, dark liquid, yet another calming part of the ritual, I ponder the many blessings with which God has graced me. A-a-a-ah, there is comfort in the storm in cultivating a heart of gratitude, whether the storm is external or internal.  I am nudged to see that even on the bad days and inevitable rough patches, I am one blessed woman.  I have running water, food, clothing, shelter and electricity to power everything at the flip of a switch. My physical needs are met. I have a gas log fireplace I don't have to poke up every few minutes like I used to with wood. I don't even have to split wood and store it. Gracious, I'm spoiled!

More astonishing to me is that I have people--online and offline, kin and near-kin, and all shades of friendship spanning my entire 57 years back to a mere few days ago--who love me and who believe in me, God bless their hearts. Lord, if they're all insane in that regard, please let them remain so for my sake. As the joke goes, there was this woman taking her husband to the shrink because he thought he was a chicken. When the good doc asked her why she'd waited ten years to bring him in for treatment, she said simply, "Hey, we needed the eggs." Dear friends and family, thank you kindly for your much-appreciated metaphorical eggs to me!

Yep, hot cocoa can be a magically transformative soporific. Maybe you need some right about now to help you drift off to sleep.  Even very good hot cocoa is an inexpensive, quick-to-make treat, if you have the stuff at hand. By "stuff," I don't mean anemic instant mixes, or even the homemade kinds with non-dairy creamer in them--what the heck? Have you ever read the ingredients list on those things? I may eat something with one or two items in it I cannot pronounce, but a list that takes up the entire jar side? I mean, really!

Hot cocoa mix recipes abound. I developed this recipe because I did NOT want artificial sweeteners or coffee creamers with unpronounceable ingredients in my hot cocoa. I didn't even want commercial powdered sugar, which has cornstarch in it to keep it fluffy, but which thickens the cocoa in a way that I find unpleasant. I want hot cocoa, not hot cocoa pudding. So this is simple--milk, cocoa, sugar and a bit of vanilla to round out the flavor. More on the plus side with this mix, you won't have to scrub out a milk-scorched saucepan whenever you want homemade hot cocoa. Make as little or as much as you like. All you have to add to the mix is hot water, and all you have to clean afterwards are your mug and stirring spoon.

COST: This particular batch ran about $2.25 for 18 servings, which is roughly thirteen cents per generous serving. The monster mug in the above photo holds about double the amount of a normal mug, but is still a cheap splurge at 26 cents. If you can get your ingredients on sale or with a coupon, so much the better. All I found on half-decent sale here was the sugar.

As if you needed any more excuse to make this hot cocoa mix, consider that it is a dandy emergency supply to keep on hand. Since all you need in the way of preparation is a way to heat water, even a little Buddy Burner under a flip stove or oven rack in a sink can do that.  (See my blog entry for how-tos on making these handy, FREE emergency cooking fuel sources.)

Barbara G's Hot Cocoa Mix

4 cups instant nonfat dry milk powder (a little over three 1-quart pkts)
¾ cup good-quality sifted cocoa powder (NOT chocolate drink mix)
1 cup vanilla sugar* or plain granulated sugar

In a large bowl, stir together all ingredients until thoroughly combined. Set out another large bowl. Put about half of the mix into a food processor or blender and pulse until the mix is evenly and pulverized into a fine powder. Wait a few second before removing the bowl cover, tap it to help the powder settle and then slowly pour it out into the empty large bowl.

[Important: Do not omit the waiting step. You do not want to breathe that powder! Actually, a dust mask would be a very good idea, especially if you're making up several batches for gifts. I made up a double batch an hour ago and was very careful not to puff out the dust. Yet and still, my skin feels sticky and I'm coughing up and blowing cocoa mix powder out my nose.   Yech. This is so NOT the preferred way to consume it.]

Continue with processing the rest of the mix and empty it into the bowl. Stir both batches together until evenly blended, then pour up into jars and tightly cap. Use within two months or refrigerate or freeze. Even though the individual ingredients are shelf-stable, once you combine and super-process them like this so that they'll dissolve easily, they're more apt to absorb moisture. This will "kill" that powdered milk! Even here in hot, humid Mississippi or there in Florida with Donna, it should be fine for 6-8 weeks if you keep it tightly capped and don't leave the lid off any longer than it takes to quickly retrieve a scoopful of mix.

Yield: about 6 cups of cocoa mix, or roughly 18 generous servings (more than those packets!)

To serve: Put a rounded 1/3 cup of mix into a cup. Make a smooth paste by stirring in a few tablespoons of boiling water, then slowly add the rest of about 6-8 ounces of boiling water, or to taste. For extra creaminess, use hot milk instead of water. Whisk out any lumps or use a Mexican molinillo if you're blessed to have one.

*Vanilla sugar:   Put several cups of granulated sugar into a plastic jar large enough that the sugar about half fills it. Break up a vanilla bean into several pieces and drop it into the sugar. Screw on the top and shake. Every day for about two weeks, shake up the jar to expose the sugar to the vanilla bean pieces. After about two weeks, taste a bit of the sugar. It's ready if it has a faint vanilla flavor. Continue with your recipe.

Gilding the Lily: For the decadent who plan ahead, sweetened whipped cream freezes nicely when dropped by generous spoonfuls onto waxed paper, frozen, individually plastic-wrapped and then thrown back into the freezer into hard-sided containers like recycled peanut butter jars. No need to thaw. Just drop a frozen dollop on top of your blazing hot cocoa. It'll melt there. Keep an eye out in the dairy case for cream markdowns. Snap it up, whip it up and freeze it up for later use. If you're feeling craftsy and the kids are antsy, recruit them to make gingerbread houses using the well-washed cream cartons as bases for frosting-glued graham crackers and candies.

IMPORTANT: While making this mix, make sure all mixing utensils, bowls, jars and your HANDS are 100% free of any moisture. It's also best to do this on a dry, clear day.

Variations:
1. Caramel cocoa - substitute brown sugar for vanilla sugar. Make absolutely sure the brown sugar is thoroughly blended with the other ingredients to avoid clumping.   Because of the moisture in the brown sugar, don't keep this mix more then 2-3 weeks, unless you store it in the freezer.

2. Peppermint cocoa - put a soft peppermint candy "pillow" into each cup, pour in the hot water and stir it to dissolve along with the mix, OR serve the cocoa with a peppermint stick in each cup as a stirrer. The soft pillow candies dissolve faster than the hard Starlight mints.

3. Cocoa with marshmallows - put 5-10 mini marshmallows in the bottom of the cup before making the paste. Stir them up with the cocoa mix and hot water until nice and foamy.

Adults only variations:
1. Amaretta cocoa - Add 1-2 tablespoons of Amaretta liqueur to each cup with the mix.
2. Mucho Mocha - Add 1-2 tablespoons of Kahlua to each cup with the mix.
3. Raspberry Cocoa - Add 1-2 tablespoons of Chambord (raspberry liqueur) to each cup with the cocoa mix.

Gift idea: Make up a hot cocoa basket with cocoa mix in a jar with a recipe card of directions. Put a cup each of peppermint pillows and mini marshmallows into a plastic or cellophane bag, tie it with a ribbon and slip them into two mugs. For those who imbibe, purchase mini bottles of several liqueurs to tuck in around the bags and jars.

Mixing Note: This mix is perfectly acceptable made without a food processor or blender. It simply will take longer for the product to dissolve when you make your hot cocoa. The "make a paste" part is then critical to avoid annoying lumps.

Vanilla Sugar Note: Also, yes, you may certainly make this with plain sugar if you don't have time for the vanilla sugar, but you might want to add a drop of pure vanilla extract to each cup of cocoa when you make it up. It really does make a difference in complexity of flavor.

Convenience note: If you intend to take this to work or on the road, you will hanker for those ecologically wasteful and expensive store-bought envelopes for individual servings. Let me suggest a compromise. Buy a box of snack-size zipper-seal bags and put serving-size scoops of mix into each bag. Tuck these into a recycled peanut butter jar or other unbreakable wide-mouthed PETE jar and keep it in your drawer at work or your car. As you use up the bags, stuff them back into the jar for filling with more cocoa mix. If you're careful not to get the bags wet or dirty, you may use them many times before relegating them to the landfills. At home, you may stuff the mix-filled bags into wide-mouthed Mason or other canning jars for a greater degree of protection from humidity and critter invasion. Ants re-e-e-eeally love this stuff.

Note on using PETE jars: These are plastic jars with an embossed triangle on the bottom and containing the embossed letters "PET" or "PETE." This means they're the kind of plastic suitable for long-term storage of food items. You will NOT find this on, say, milk jugs or juice jugs of the type found in the dairy case. Those are made to decompose fairly rapidly, as some of us have discovered when we tried to re-use them for storing water...or worse, homemade laundry soap. Learn from my mistakes!

The most frequently found recyclable PETE containers in this house are peanut butter and mayonnaise jars and the types of juice jugs kept on the store's non-refrigerated shelves. Those are meant for long-term storage. We thoroughly wash them out as we empty them, air-dry them completely and keep them capped and clean for future food-storing needs. We get free, food-safe storage containers AND we give those perfectly good jugs and jars a new life outside of landfills.

Frugally yours,
Barbara Houston Garrett
www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/barbaragarrett

Menopause Minimizer Mix--esp. for Angelina

2009-12-29T02:37:00.004-06:00

No scientific tests have been done on this recipe, and I make no claims as to it doing anything but helping ME when I was going through those nightmarish years when no matter how cold it was inside or outside, I dared not wear any sweaters. During that time, only 100% cotton fabric touched my body, and even that in thin layers I could peel off as needed, year-round. On more than one shopping trip over those years, I recall thrusting all of my body but one foot into frozen foods freezers, all to avoid passing out on the floor. Seriously.

How this recipe came about was I did a little research on what foods help alleviate menopausal symptoms and came up with a bunch of foods that could be ground together and taste good, too. I've had one critic (NOT one who tried it, either!) pish-tosh me with "That sounds like what I feed my bird!" Well if that's true, then I say her bird eats better than she does, but then maybe she's not as desperate as I became.

Me, I'd have eaten styrofoam peanuts if somebody had told me that it might (only MIGHT!) alleviate some of the raging emotions and hot flashes that kept me reeling. In one particularly embarrassing episode of night sweats (what a joke--they actually happened without warning at ANY time of day or night), I literally slid off my dentist's chair in a visible pool of perspiration. For the rest of my dental work, I brought a beach towel to lie down on during each visit. Mortifying!

On days when I could do paperwork or phone calls from the house, I pulled the blinds and stripped to nothing in order to maintain some kind of comfort level, especially in the summer. It wasn't just the weight of the clothing sometimes that irritated--it was stuff TOUCHING me around the neck, arms, and so on. Furniture got covered with towels. Frozen water bottles were tucked where necessary to help cool me down, and yes, that was even in a thoroughly air-conditioned house. I must apologize for that image, by the way, but I'm just telling you, it was an unbearably hot time for me. That's also an excellent tip for some of you. Keep lots of those half-filled water bottles in the freezer! The little kid size bottles are the best, because they stay in place better. Those frozen jewels were the only way I could tolerate some summer car trips. I do suggest removing them at fast food windows. The bulges cause stares. Of course, you may be to the point where you don't care.

No, I do not discount the possibility that there's some kind of placebo effect going with my dear Menopause Minimizer Mix. SO WHAT?! To a woman whose body has turned on her to where it feels like some alien is about to pop out of her belly any minute, ANY hope is better than none. That's what this is, a modicum of hope.

All that preamble aside, here's my recipe. If after trying it a few weeks, you decide it's not working for you, then you may use up the mix in some cookie dough or muffins to fortify them nutritionally. Alternatively, if you decide that my mix and I are altogether for the birds, then by all means toss it out to your avian friends. They will love you for it.

Barbara G's Menopause Minimizer Cereal Supplement

1 cup sunflower seeds, unsalted
1 cup raw pumpkin seeds
1/2 cup sesame seeds
1/2 cup flax seeds
1/2 cup dry roasted soy beans, unsalted
1 cup chopped dates
1 cup chopped dried cherries
1 cup toasted wheat germ
1/2 cup nutritional yeast flakes
1 cup coconut flakes
1 cup raw (or lightly toasted) almonds
1 cup dry powdered milk

Mix ingredients together and either blend in batches or run through food processor until ground into a semi-fine powder. Do not overprocess to where it turns into a butter! Store in airtight glass jars IN FREEZER ONLY, to preserve the nutrition and prevent the oils from going rancid. Refrigerator storage is NOT enough to prevent rancidity in these ingredients.

TO SERVE: Sprinkle about 2-3 tablespoons of mix on hot or cold cereals, stir some into yogurt or cottage cheese, or sprinkle on sandwiches or salads. Excellent in peanut butter jelly or peanut butter banana OR almond butter sandwiches.

Notes on Symptom Relief: purely personal, but FOR ME, I had to take 2-3 tablespoons of this daily for 2-3 weeks before I noticed symptom relief, and I had to make sure I did not miss more than a day of it to avoid losing the effects. This is NOT medicine, after all, and I make no scientific claims on it. It's simply nutritional foods combined to make a treat that might help some folks. I welcome any input on your experience with it.

ORIGINALITY NOTE: This recipe is mine, mine, MINE! I adapted it from NOTHING but my own fevered brain and research notes. If you distribute this to anybody else or print it out for your files, please do me the courtesy of keeping the document in its entirety together with the recipe so that I retain the credit due me. Give a girl a break. Remember that I developed this recipe sweating, half-nekkid and desperate. I paid my dues so maybe you wouldn't have to do so...at least maybe not nekkid. : )

Frugally yours,
Barbara Houston Garrett
www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/barbaragarrett

BUDDY BURNERS--When Good Candles Go Bad

2009-12-08T16:48:00.003-06:00

What is the meaning of this tangled mess of junk? I'll tell you.

1) Bad candles - self-explanatory - given to me by a friend who decided that candle-making for fun and profit was neither. Check out the peachy-pink piece of wax that looks eerily like a chunk of human flesh. :::shudder:::
2) Cat food or tuna can with coiled corrugated cardboard strips
3) Corrugated strip cut correctly, with holes facing top of can
4) Finished Buddy Burner that has had melted wax poured into it

Buddy Burner?!  What the heck is that? It's FREE emergency cooking and heating fuel, that's what it is--well, free if you know how to scrounge for the wax. One of the most useful projects a family can undertake to insure general preparedness is to explore alternative cooking and heating methods. The time to play around with this is NOT whan a hurricane or ice storm is barreling down toward you, but when the winds--and your nerves--are comparatively calm. The Buddy Burner steps proudly up to the plate on this and makes it kind of fun, as well, which means we're more likely to actually DO it. Those of you who were in scouts are probably familiar with them as a component of a hobo stove. Well, it's time to bring them back.

Candidates for the wax are spent or otherwise unusable candles (preferably unscented), paraffin, soy-based or even beeswax. You probably already have some of those lying around the house.  You might also talk to wedding planners and churches where candles are used in any capacity. No candle stub is too small that it cannot be melted down in an old #10 can. The old wick pieces will sink to the bottom where they may be fished out...or not. It makes no difference to the Buddy Burner. You might also ask your friends.

For that matter, let's do a fun little experiment here. Email or call three or four local friends right now before you finish reading this. Ask them if they have any candles that are too low to burn, that have burned-out wicks, or that have malfunctioned in some way as to be unusable. Big candidates are those huge three-wickers that tend to blow out on the sides in a lava flow of wax.  I'll bet you get all you could possibly need! If the candles are stuck in little decorative glasses that are straight-sided, they can be frozen and the wax popped out--carefully! Otherwise, you may set them on the dashboard of your car on a sunny day and keep a close eye on them. For sure, put a piece of cardboard underneath, in case there's wax on the bottom that will melt onto your car.

Oh, and while we're giving wax cautions, a word about using crayons to make Buddy Burners: don't. In a nutshell, it's the wrong kind of wax and the additives in crayons don't like to be burned. Only a little bit in the mix will make the whole flaming Buddy Burner run you out of the house with smoke and smell. I won't even go there on just how permanent a drop of that melted pigment is on a carpet. Just don't.

A better use for old, broken crayons is to melt them together in a low oven in an old (never to be used for food again) muffin tin to make goofy swirled crayons. You can also iron (foil-covered soleplate, please!) crayon shavings between sheets of waxed paper, trace around cookie cutters and cut them out for Christmas tree ornaments that vaguely resemble stained glass. Another fun thing for older kids is to use the old crayons to draw on thoroughly washed, oven-heated river rocks to make decorative paperweights....or do some form of encaustic painting with the old crayons and an old travel iron without steam holes-- http://netnet.net/~cloud9/tips/tips_encaustic_painting.html. Regardless, please do NOT use them in Buddy Burners.

Although even a properly made Budder Burner is not the cleanest burning fuel, it has many recommendations:

there's no spill risk in storage
it stores safely inside the house with no fumes
it does not look like water or juice and so is not a poisoning risk to kids
it is lightweight and easily carried in a backpack or Bug-Out Bag
it stores safely in your car's emergency bag, secured in case the wax melts
it is a fun family project to make
it recycles materials that otherwise would be thrown away
it can be burned in an enclosed area with a nod toward ventilation
it is free-e-e to make from found materials (have I driven this point home?)

I suggest rounding up young, nimble-jointed recruits to cut the cardboard strips, and do use good utility shears for this job. To help, you might pencil-draw guide lines on the cardboard that are the depth of the strips needed. Shove the whole sheet of cardboard under the couch, with a large basket containing the shears and cleaned empty tuna/cat food cans nearby. That way, when somebody's watching TV, he can cut up a few strips and store them in the basket. He can also coil the strips and fit them into the tuna/cat food cans. All that's left to do then is to fill the cans with melted wax, which is a messy job unto itself. It's the best use of your time to fill a lot of cans all at once. Now, let's get down to brass tacks.

HOW-TO MAKE A BUDDY BURNER
http://www.justpeace.org/buddyburner.htm This is one of the best instructional sheets to print out and keep in your Preparedness Binder. You have one of those, don't you? In a power-out situation, you won't be able to run to your computer and look for this.

If you're a very visual learner, as am I, you'll enjoy the informative little slide show of the Buddy Burner making process at --
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRJiVvdfLLU

A good explanation of how to make a hobo stove to use with your Buddy Burner to cook things is here--
http://www.motherearthnews.com/Do-It-Yourself/1984-03-01/Make-It-and-Take-It-Hobo-Stove.aspx

Logistics of Heating with a Buddy Burner: Warming a room with a Buddy Burner in a power-out situation can be done, but it must be done while SOMEBODY is awake at all times. After all, you essentially have set a small bonfire in the room. Observe every precaution you can think of over having a large open flame in the house. Here are some ideas that might help you. You'll come up with others specific to your environs.

Reduce the warming area - close off the room with blankets in doorways and over windows. In an emergency situation, do not attempt to warm the whole house with auxilliary fuel of any kind. Make it the room where you all may sleep, possibly under the dining table on mattresses, with a coverlet laid over it tent-like to contain body warmth. This way, you warm the room with the Buddy Burner, shut it down at bedtime and the combined body heat helps you stay safely warm through the night.
Ventilation - raise a window a tiny crack OR locate the set-up on the fireplace hearth with a fireplace screen around it, if you have one. The updraft of the open damper will likely be sufficient. Don't over-do this, as you'll lose valuable heat. A mere 1/8" crack in a narrow 28" wide window is the equivalent of a 3 1/2" hole.
If you don't have a non-flammable fireplace hearth, make some semblance of fire ring or a wide perimeter of non-flammable material around the Buddy Burner set-up. You want to block passing any closer than about three feet to it on all sides. A round baby gate type of corral thing around the fire ring further minimizes the chance of long hair, swishing cat tails, long sleeves and curtains accidentally brushing against the flame.
Line the inside of a cast iron Dutch Oven with heavy-duty aluminum foil in case of wax spills. Put the Buddy Burner into the Dutch Oven and light it with a long fireplace match.
Put the aluminum foil-covered Dutch Oven lid on top of the Dutch Oven, but tilt it so that the flame gets air. This affords some protection from the open flame, yet increases the radiant heat output with the heated cast iron lid.
Alternatively, put an old oven grate on top of the Dutch Oven, and a pot full of water. This will provide not only needed humidity, but hot water for instant coffee, tea and soups. It also presents a potential boiling water hazard, so be careful.
When the room is warm, extinguish the flame by putting the Dutch Oven lid on top completely. Use a pot holder and/or tongs to prevent burning your hands. DO NOT lift the lid again right away, and I do mean not for hours. There will be a lot of smoke.
DO NOT FALL ASLEEP with the Buddy Burner going. If it's truly cold and you must keep the fire going to avoid freezing, then take turns watching and sleeping.

I won't lie to you now--that cast iron pot is going to be a sooty mess to clean, especially if you don't line the inside with foil. Even if you do, you'll want to clean it and season it well before you cook food in it again. DO use the foil, if at all possible.

Logistics of Cooking With a Buddy Burner: Cooking with a Buddy Burner is not fast. It's different from microwave cooking, stove-top cooking or even cooking on the grill. Also, due to inconsistencies in the wax itself and how much cardboard or wax you put into the cans, it's an unpredictable flame. You can control a too-hot flame somewhat by using a doubled piece of heavy-duty aluminum foil as a damper. You can also add or subtract bricks beneath it to bring it closer to or farther away from the pot bottom. You will have to play with it to change the heat, and it's not as simple as turning a knob.

The flame is small in diameter, so there are definite hot spots. If at all possible, use cast iron skillets and pots, because that material conducts heat more evenly. Start out your Buddy Burner cooking by reheating/warming canned foods and warming water for coffee and tea. Don't try to cook things that need high heat or sauteeing at first. When you're more practiced, you might try cooking with TWO of them at a time, but with double the precautions. Some pointers--

In hot weather, cook outside under a covered patio, if at all possible. Buddy Burners generate a lot of heat that is unwelcome when no AC is available. You may use a tabletop or regular grill or an old #10 can to contain the Buddy Burner as in the traditional hobo stove.
If it's cold out, bring the cooking inside with the cast iron pot set-up described above in the room heating notes, OR
Put the Buddy Burner in your kitchen sink, on top of bricks stacked as high as necessary to bring the flame close enough to the oven rack you've laid across the sink.
Be patient. It's a new thing. There's a learning curve.
Experiment. Have fun with it! Play with it BEFORE it's your only cooking fuel source. If you burn your flapjacks in non-crisis times, it's no biggie. If those blackened pancakes were your only prospects for hot food that day, it would be tragic.
Second only to making hot water for coffee, the best use of Buddy Burners has to be for toasting marshmallows. Thread them onto metal skewers and toast. You'll quickly get a feel for how close you can hold them to the flame without incineration.

Storing Buddy Burners: How many Buddy Burners should you have tucked away? Well, how many potential emergency meals do you want to cook? Depending upon how much wax you packed into each one, each Buddy Burner will burn an average of two to four hours. A conservative estimate would be to allow one Buddy Burner per day for cooking, plus one for heating. If you build up a supply of 30 Buddy Burners, then you'll have a reasonable assurance of two weeks of emergency cooking/heating fuel supply. If your area is extremely cold and you plan to burn them 24/7 under careful watch, OR if you intend to share some with neighbors, then plan accordingly.

I've found that shirt boxes are exactly the right depth to store a single layer of Buddy Burners. The box is not stable with that much weight, so be careful not to tumble them out. They won't break, but they can bruise a toe! Several shirt boxes of Buddy Burners will store stacked in the back of a closet without anybody missing the space. The boxes can even be spread out single layer and your shoes laid out on top. Then, come some power-out, snowed-in, icy roads time, you'll know without a shadow of doubt where your Buddy Burners are located. You can be your family's hero with a warming cup of hot cocoa or coffee when all your neighbors are cold and stranded. If by chance you also have laid in a supply of marshmallows, chocolate bars and graham crackers...AND you offer to share your bounty with the neighbors, you may even achieve sainthood.

Frugally yours,
Barbara Houston Garrett
www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/barbaragarrett

You Say Boiled Custard; I Say Eggnog. Let's drink the whole thing off.

2009-12-06T02:12:00.003-06:00

Boiled custard is a hallowed Southern USA tradition, although the name itself is misleading. If it's to turn out at all, boiled custard must NEVER actually reach the boiling stage. It is properly held at just under a simmer, so that the eggs in the sweetened milk mixture gently cook and thicken without scrambling into curdled bits. We use boiled custard in banana pudding or over pound cake, as an ice cream base, or simply for drinking plain as a light dessert, with or without a little rum or brandy added. When we drink it with nutmeg sprinkled over it, sometimes we call it eggnog. At least, I do.

My grandmother made boiled custard often, and it was a labor of love. She had to stand over a simmering double boiler on her gas stove and stir for what seemed to me an eternity until it thickened. When I was lucky, I got to sop the boiler. The rest had to go straight into the icebox to cool until it was taken to its intended purpose. This was quintessential boiled custard, uniquely Mamaw's and yet steeped in tradition. To eat it was dipping into heaven, rich and light at the same time. The Deep South on a spoon.

However, Mamaw NEVER would have called boiled custard eggnog. Eggnog to her meant whipped separated raw eggs that were then folded into sweetened milk, topped with a dollop of real whipped cream and the whole dusted with powdered nutmeg. None of it ever saw the fire. All that has changed now, due to food safety concerns. Unless you can get your hands onto some cheap pasteurized eggs (yeah, right), the practice of using raw eggs in anything for anybody is strongly discouraged today because of salmonella and other bacterial contamination risks. For small children or those with immune system disorders, it could even prove fatal. The nutritional upshot is that because we don't want to kill ourselves, raw egg eggnog should be a thing of the past.

As for me and my own tastebuds, this fact presents no serious problem. I do not even like the flavor of raw eggs, and I always avoided eggnog made with raw eggs. Yes, even Mamaw's. So I find that our traditional boiled custard subs out quite nicely for eggnog, and I have nary a guilty thought about it. My grandmother would disapprove, but she's not here to correct me.

This time of year or any cold snap, we crave eggnog. I prefer mine warmed up, but my daughter likes it icy cold. Our cats like it, too, but we're careful not to let them have any with nutmeg. Any amount of nutmeg is toxic to both dogs and cats. For that matter, nutmeg CAN cause problems for humans in smaller quantities than you might think, so store the nutmeg up high out of the reach of children. I find that warm boiled custard is just the thing to have on hand to take the chill out of a cold day. Alone, it vies with hot cocoa as a soothing soporific. With booze, one might ought to already BE in bed before drinking it.

Now I do like doing the old ways of cooking things as long as they're practical. Tradition often has compelling reasons for being just that. For instance, yeast bread that is hand-mixed and hand-kneaded wins flavor and texture prizes every time over bread-machine bread. However, if I'm pressed for time, I will content myself with the bread machine. It's still far better than store-bought in nutrition and taste. Boiled custard is different. I cannot tell the difference in taste or texture between boiled custard that is made using the old-fashioned, time-eating, foot-numbing, back-aching, double boiler method and my fast-and-dirty microwave method. So guess what wins out every time? If you feel guilty for taking my shortcut, let me assure you, guilt feelings pass. They did for me when I realized I had made boiled custard, had drunk a cup of it AND had taken a nice nap in the same amount of time that Mamaw would have needed when using her double boiler method.

If you need any further encouragement to make microwave boiled custard/eggnog, consider that one quart of store-bought eggnog costs about $2.50, and you could make nearly a gallon of it for that price. You don't have to be great at math to see that it makes sense to make your own!

Barbara G's Microwave Boiled Custard/Eggnog

4 cups milk (2% is okay, but whole tastes better)
4 large eggs
1 cup sugar
1 teaspoon all-purpose flour*
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

In a large Pyrex mixing bowl, whisk the flour and sugar together until well blended. Add the eggs and a cup of milk and whisk the mixture until no egg strings remain and the mixture is fairly smooth. Whisk in the rest of the milk and beat until mixture is smooth.

Set the bowl on a large plate—just in case you forget what you’re doing and the stuff overflows. Set the whole thing in the microwave and cook on High for three minutes. Whisk very well until mixture is completely smooth, making sure to scrape the bottom and sides. Microwave on High for 2 minutes and whisk again. Watch it carefully as it cooks from this point. Let me repeat that. WATCH IT CAREFULLY AS IT COOKS FROM THIS POINT. Repeat microwaving and whisking at 1-minute intervals until mixture suddenly seems to swell up and visibly thicken. STOP COOKING IMMEDIATELY, and I do mean that very second. To double-check, dip a spoon into it and pull it up to make sure the custard coats it. With my microwave, I do the 1-minute nuking only twice.

When it's done, take it OUT of the microwave immediately, add vanilla and whisk in to blend completely. Let cool slightly before pouring it up into smaller containers (Mason jars work great!) and refrigerate. After it chills, it will thicken more to where it’s like a thin pudding. Of course, there's absolutely nothing wrong with drinking it warm. You won't even need a spoon.

For company, or if you have squeamish folk, it’s nicer to pour this through a fine-mesh strainer while it's warm to get out any possible little eggy bits. For my taste, though, these are extra special treats.

*(Do not substitute cornstarch. Flour is more heat-resistant, especially in this application of stabilizing the eggs. Cornstarch is subject to breaking down if over-cooked only a little. Trust me on this.)

To serve:

Dessert sauce - spoon over pound cake or fresh fruit
Banana pudding base. Place sliced bananas and vanilla wafers in individual serving dishes. Cover with cooled boiled custard and let it sit in the fridge an hour or two to soften cookies. You MAY press it into dessert service right away while it's warm, though, and the cookies will soften in the custard by the time you get the bowls passed around. Made up like this, it does NOT keep very well even refrigerated for more than a few hours. The bananas start to go wonky and the cookies completely dissolve.
Eggnog - ladle warm or cold into cups and top with a little freshly grated nutmeg. It is a fine, restorative drink as is, but if you're the drinking sort, add a splash of rum, brandy, or even bourbon.
Home-churned ice cream - chill and churn in your ice cream machine
Pudding pops. Pour into pop molds and freeze. Do this for your kids and there will be such a demand for them, you’ll have the recipe carved on the backs of your eyelids. This thinner mixture freezes differently from thicker cooked pudding that has fewer eggs and more flour or cornstarch. However, I'd be hard-pressed to say which we prefer on a hot, sticky day.

Variations:

Chocolate - add four tablespoons of dry cocoa powder to the flour and sugar and whisk until equally distributed, OR add 1/2 cup milk chocolate or semi-sweet chocolate chips to the hot pudding as it comes out of the microwave. Let sit a minute and then stir well to blend.

Butterscotch - substitute brown sugar for the white granulated; omit the vanilla extract. This will give a mild butterscotch flavor. To up that, either use 1/2 teaspoon of butterscotch extract, OR stir in 1/2 cup butterscotch morsels when you remove the custard from the microwave.

Lemon - a little more involved, but really nice. Omit the vanilla. Substitute 1 1/3 cups dry milk powder for the milk. In a medium bowl, stir the dry milk powder into 2 2/3 cup water. Add 1/3 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice and 1 teaspoon grated lemon zest and stir well. Set aside. In a large bowl, whisk together flour, sugar and eggs together as above, EXCEPT substitute 1 cup of water for the 1 cup of milk. Double-check my math and yours on this, so that you come out with a total of 4 cups of liquid to replace the 4 cups of milk. Proceed with the recipe as above, adding the liquid ingredients when called for and whisking to blend. You'll get a little chemical reaction with the lemon juice and egg, so work quickly to whisk once they come into contact with each other. Cook as above. While it's still warm, you may want to strain the lemon zest out for a smoother texture.

Pudding - drop the eggs back to two instead of four; increase the flour to two tablespoons. All other directions remain the same, although the pudding seems to boil up even more quickly and without warning, thus causing a greater mess if you're not careful. This yields a dippable pudding rather than a pourable custard, which is nicer for serving in a bowl with a spoon as opposed to drinking from a cup.

Oh, and if YOUR grandmother comes over to your house for the holidays and you serve her banana pudding or boiled custard in a cup as eggnog, there is absolutely no need to own up to her that you made the boiled custard in the microwave. You don't have to come out and lie about it, but it's okay to let her believe you slaved over a double boiler just like she taught you. I mean, I wouldn't want you disowned for nothing, sugah, but certainly not over boiled custard.

Frugally yours,
Barbara Houston Garrett
www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/barbaragarrett

HAM, HAM AND MORE HAM

2009-12-02T18:03:00.002-06:00

Brookshire's had a Thanksgiving special where if you bought one Cook's or Hormel spiral-sliced ham, you got a free turkey. I could not pass that up! Since our pet sitting business peaks during holidays, we didn't have time to thaw and cook that turkey. However, that marvelous fully-cooked, spiral-sliced ham handily made more than a couple of sandwiches and now we're done with all the ham eating we want/need for awhile. I believe the traditional definition of eternity is: a ham and two people. So I put up the rest of the ham in the freezer, moistened with the ham stock made from the bone. Let me talk about ham buying for a minute. Apt as not, you'll see another ham/turkey kind of special as Christmas and the New Year approach, and you'll want to snap it up.

If you're buying a ham with an eye toward freezing some of it for later use, there are a few things to consider. We're talking about a basic fully-cooked smoked ham, now. Country hams are in an entirely different category altogether. Once cut into, country hams do freeze nicely, too, but I think they do better if cooked first and then frozen in some stock or red eye gravy. Otherwise, they freezer burn far too easily. I'll talk about the sacred country hams on another blog. They deserve their own. Let's go back to the smoked fully cooked hams--

First, consider cost. Even on sale, a good ham will cost you more than a bad ham. You have to get over that. However, with careful planning, you will get a lot of meals for your money.
If at all possible, buy the ham in a marked-down meat bin or at least a loss leader sale. Hang around your grocer's butcher department to see when they put those out. Ask the butcher, even.
Buy a ham with "meat juice added;" NOT water added. Trust me.
DO NOT buy a compressed or boneless ham. To manipulate the boned meat into that unnatural-albeit-easily-sliced shape, they roll and smush it together with a kind of ham spackle made of ground-up ham bits and gelatinized water or meat juice. If frozen, this mess breaks down into the slimy, mushy equivalent of cat food. Just...don't. This is also why most deli meats cannot be frozen. Do it one time and you may decide as I have to avoid buying deli meats altogether.
If you possibly can, DO get a spiral-sliced ham. It is just so-o-o much easier on you to have those best slices already cut, and the additional cost is usually insignificant.
A rounded butt end will give you more nice sandwich slices, but the more pointy-ended shank cut will give you more chunks. Your choice. Either way, you get that lovely bone for making delicious ham stock.

Okay, once you have that precious ham in hand, what to do with it? The first thing I do is to get out my big 7-quart slow cooker, turn it on and put a little water in it. I'll be tossing in the ham trimmings as I cut for building ham stock.

Now if the ham is spiral-sliced, I follow the directions of running a paring knife around the bone and then cutting off the slices. I set those aside in the refrigerator, covered tightly. As I run into pieces of fat or skin, they go into the stock pot. Now I hack around the bone to get at the rest of the meat. It's a little more work with a shank bone. While I'm there and have the knife, I go ahead and peel off the skin and cut the chunks of ham into small dice for future recipes. All of this gets piled into containers and refrigerated.  And yes, I will painstakingly trim the skin and fat from each and every slice, because I'm fussy that way.

Now it's time to finish making the ham stock that will keep these delectable ham slices and chunks moist and free of freezer burn in freezer storage.

Making Ham Stock

1 bone left from a fully cooked smoked ham, plus trimmed skin and fat
water to cover
4-5 celery stalks with leaves, chunked
3 carrots, chunked
2 large onions, halved
4 whole garlic cloves
1 bay leaf
1 teaspoon black peppercorns
handful of parsley stems (optional)

I do my ham stock in a large slow cooker. Even if you do yours on the stove top, stock making is fairly effortless, if a bit messy in the straining stage. Just make sure to find a pot large enough that it can be filled with water to cover the bone completely. Combine all the ingredients above in the pot and set on to cook at just below a simmer. You should not see active boiling, but only tiny bubbles around the edge.

DO NOT ADD SALT. This is a good basic rule to follow when making stock, anyhow, but especially so with making ham stock. It's probably already plenty salty.

Since I'm using the slow cooker, I'll let the ham bone and vegetables cook on "Low" all night and into the first part of the day, about 10-12 hours. By then, all the flavor should be extracted from the elements. If you use the stovetop, you can get decent flavor after cooking it for 3-4 hours.

Using tongs, fish out the bone and vegetables and discard. Pour the stock through a fine-mesh strainer to get out the smaller solids, and pour up into smaller refrigerator boxes. If you want the stock to be ultra-clear for some reason, then line the strainer first with a dampened cheesecloth. Cool the stock briefly at room temperature and then finish cooling in the refrigerator. The smaller boxes facilitate this. The stock will keep refrigerated for 2-3 days. Once chilled, you may lift off and discard the layer of fat in each box of stock. It will have done its flavoring job.

Logistics note about the parsley stems: If you have fresh parsley you'll be using for the ham soup, then strip the leaves off the stems and put them back into the fridge wrapped in a damp paper towel in a plastic bag until you get the stock done. Then you'll have the parsley stems at hand for the stock, and the parsley leaves will only have to be chopped or snipped just before adding them to the soup.

Putting up the ham: Put as many slices as you think you'll need for a meal into quart zipper-seal bags. Do the same with the diced or chopped ham.  A cupful is about right for us on the diced/chopped. Ladle in a few tablespoons of the cooled ham stock and mush it around so that all the meat is moistened. Squeeze out the air, zip shut, label and freeze flat; then put the smaller bags into larger ones for easy retrieval.

Putting up the ham stock: Pour up whatever chilled stock is left into ice cube trays, freeze and store the cubes in plastic jars for seasoning vegetables or soups. Recycled peanut butter jars are perfect for this. A few cubes of that well-seasoned ham stock will do flavor magic to a pot of baby Fordhook limas or big fat butterbeans. While you're at it and have the slow cooker out, you might put some of it to use with a soup right now. Bean soups are a natural for seasoning with ham.

Now here's a recipe for one of my favorite things to do with leftover ham: split pea soup. The recipe makes a LOT, which is nice to have on hand in the freezer for meals when you simply cannot deal with food prep. or are feeling puny, or have a gazillion gifts to wrap or Christmas cards to sign. Well, any time. It freezes very well. I would NOT pressure can it, as the soup is too dense to reach proper microbe-killing temperatures throughout. If you don't have a 7-quart slow cooker, then halve the recipe.

Whatever you do, DO NOT attempt this recipe on a stovetop unless you intend to spend the next 3-4 hours of your life hovering over the pot, muttering vile things and stirring in what is likely a futile attempt to prevent the bottom scorching and ruining soup, pot and your previously good mood. Can you tell I've done this?

The slow cooker is your friend for any kind of split pea soup. This soup settles out with a heavy layer on the bottom as it cooks, which does not generally cause a problem in a slow cooker set on "Low." To play it safe, though, cook split pea soup on a day when you're home, so you can stir it up from the bottom every few hours. There is no salvation for the soup if it scorches on the bottom. It spoils the whole batch.

I like this recipe because even though the split peas dissolve into a creamy mass, it is not at all a blah background. The flavor is complex. Moreover, there is considerable textural interest in this naturally creamy soup. Every bite has a slightly different mixture of the mild chewiness of barley; a shred of ham; and the sweetness of a bit of carrot, celery or onion; plus the occasional surprise of a lima bean or whole pea.

Do not be tempted to use more of the frozen limas or peas. They are here primarily to balance the flavors, and are not meant to share equal stage with the dried split peas. If time is a horrid crunch for you and you cannot be there during the cooking, you may add the frozen limas, peas and ham at the beginning. I think you'll prefer the taste and texture of adding them at the end. For sure, do not add the fresh parsley and sage until the end. Vegetarians, I cannot help you here. I've tried this without the ham and smoky ham stock, and the soup is way lame by comparison.

Barbara G's Split Pea and Barley Soup with Ham

5 cups dried split green peas
1 cup hulless (preferred) or hulled barley (see note)
1 quart good ham stock
1 bay leaf
3 cloves garlic, chopped
3 carrots, small dice
4 celery stalks with leaves, chopped
2 medium onions, chopped
black pepper
generous dash Louisana hot sauce

1 cup green baby lima beans
1 cup frozen English peas
4-6 fresh sage leaves, chopped or snipped fine
2 cups chopped ham

large handful of fresh flat-leaf parsley, leaves chopped fine; stems kept for stock
salt

Sort through the dried split peas, discarding any discolored peas or foreign matter. Rinse well. The easiest way I've found to do this is to put about a cup and a half at a time of the sorted peas into a large strainer and dunk it into a big bowl of water. Swish the peas around while in the strainer, allowing any dirt to settle out to the bottom. Now lift the strainer and tap off excess water and then dump the strainer directly into the pot in which you'll cook the peas. This keeps the tiny peas from sticking to your fingers and being a general nuisance. Repeat until all the peas have been rinsed, using a fresh bowl of water each time.

In a large 7-quart slow cooker, combine all ingredients up through the Louisiana hot sauce. Add 2 quarts of filtered water and stir well. Cook on "Low" about 7-8 hours or more, or until peas and vegetables have softened and barley has fully bloomed. Stir after the first 4 hours and add more water, if needed.

DO NOT add salt at this point. In this case, the reason we are withholding salt is not to prevent the dried beans from staying hard, as you must do with most pulses. Dried split peas, lentils, mung beans and black-eyed peas are pulses NOT bothered by salt added at initial stage of cooking. We withhold the salt here because of the saltiness of the ham stock and the ham itself. Until you add the ham toward the end, you don't know how salty it will make the soup.

After the peas are done, add the baby limas, English peas, fresh sage leaves and chopped ham. Continue cooking on "Low" until baby limas are done. Remove bay leaf. Taste for seasoning and add salt if needed only at this point. You may find you don't need to add any salt at all if your ham was particularly salty. This is a thick, creamy soup. It is actually thick enough that it may be eaten scooped up with toast points, pita wedges or corn chips. We like it this way, but if you want it a little more brothy, then thin it with stock or water and adjust again for seasoning. Stir in chopped parsley and serve immediately, or refrigerate until completely chilled and then freeze in meal-size portions. Square-sided freezer boxes are great, but zipper-seal bags are more space-efficient for small freezers.

Note about the fresh sage: This is cheap for me, because I like the flavor and I happen to have a thriving sage bush in a pot out back. If you don't, feel free to use dried sage, BUT put it in at the beginning of cooking, not at the end. Use much less of the dried sage, about 1/4 teaspoon. If in doubt, use less, because sage is strong and can easily overpower a dish. Now if you do not like sage at all, feel free to use another herb you do enjoy, like marjoram, thyme or possibly tarragon. This creamy bean soup does need the balancing edge of a sharply earthy herb, so don't simply omit it.

Note about the fresh parsley: I grow it out my back door in pots, so it's cheap for me. If you don't have it, use dried parsley and add it about an hour or so before serving.

Note about the hulless barley: This is a staple in my larder, and is NOT the same thing as pearled barley or pot/scotch barley, but it is similar to hulled barley. Pearled barley has most of the goodness processed off it and pot/scotch barley is only slightly less processed. Neither stores well, so I don't buy them.  Barley still in the hull is edible only by livestock, so that has to come off if we're to eat it. Hulless barley is grown so that minimal processing is necessary to make it edible for humans, retaining most of the nutrients, as opposed to hulled barley, where many nutrients are destroyed in hull removal. In case I have completely confused you, here's some good reading-- http://www.barleyfoods.org/products.html.  I get my hulless barley in bulk through a whole foods co-op. If you cannot get it and/or want to use pearled barley, then use the same amount as with the hulless barley, BUT add it toward the end of the cooking cycle with the ham, lima beans and frozen peas. If you have pot/scotch barley, add it midway through the cooking.

A time-honored "save" for overly salty soup: First, I do not recommend using country ham for this soup, but only the smoked, fully cooked hams. Second, do not use more than 2 cups chopped ham, or you run a real risk of over-salting the soup. So let's say you've done it anyway and you have what can now pass for a brine calling itself soup. Quickly peel and cut into BIG chunks four or five large potatoes and drop them into the soup. Let them cook until done and then fish out all the potato chunks with a slotted spoon. The potatoes will have "vacuumed" out a good bit of the soup's salt. A bonus for your lapse in judgment is that the soup-cooked potatoes will be a tasty side dish all to themselves. Next time, listen to your Auntie Barbara, who is trying very hard to help you avoid her mistakes so you can continue to enjoy your cooking adventures. : ) Of course, all is not lost even if you succeeded in killing the soup to where even the dog won't touch it. Then you have a kitchen "war" story to share. We all have them. Boy, do we ever!

Now on a fun and yet nutritious note, if you over-indulged over the holidays and are feeling guilty about what all you ate, do a web search on the ingredients of this soup.  I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at how you're doing your body a big favor with this soup. Also, I would not apologize for the ham. Ham is not nutritionally bereft. It stands proudly itself in nutritional value, and is not necessarily something to avoid. Being relatively high in sodium and fat, it should be used in moderation. However, in this soup it is primarily a seasoning agent to supplement other proteins and not at all a shameful thing. So hold your head high, pork lovers.

To save you some time--

ham - http://www.abraham-usa.com/cont_qualitaet_gesunde.html

dried split peas - http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=nutrientprofile&dbid=15

barley - http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=127

carrots - http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=21

celery - http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=14

onion - http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=45

garlic - http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=60

lima beans - http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=59

English (green) peas - http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=55

sage - http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=76

bay leaf - http://www.helpwithcooking.com/herb-guide/bay-leaves.html

parsley - http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=100

black pepper - http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=74

Oh, yes.  In case you have not guessed, I have found a new favorite web site in The World's Healthiest Foods. While I'm not too surprised to find that HAM is not listed on their web site, I am gratified that the bulk of what we eat in our family does stand there proudly. So maybe we won't eat meat EVERY day, this omnivore believes it has a solid place in a healthy diet. Yes, even ham. The expert "they" don't know everything.

It may take me a bit longer to work up a good nutritional spin on the chocolate chip nut cookies, though. Let's see, there's the chocolate, full of flavenoids; nuts, protein and antioxidants; the egg is chock full of protein; sugar...umm...butter...umm...white flour...okay, this may take awhile.

Frugally yours,
Barbara Houston Garrett
www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/barbaragarrett

HOME-MADE BEANIE WIENIES, especially for Emily

2009-11-24T00:47:00.002-06:00

While everybody else is busily cooking up their turkey spreads, we'll have the busiest work days of our year. We're right now living off meals-on-the-run that I've laid by in the freezer and will do so until business lets up. We literally do not have time to cook this week for running. We eat wherever we are, from goodies stashed in our cooler.  This is when our pet sitting business peaks. Failure to prepare for this busy week with quick-fix laid-by foods means we literally eat up our profits in fast food that invariably makes us feel ill, too.

We're prepared this year. We're eating warmed-over meals from the freezer. There's also a triple batch of bread to be turned into sandwiches with meats and bean spreads I cooked ahead. We'll for sure catch a turkey and ham on sale for the freezer, but will not have time to prepare them until everybody else is back to work and sick of all foods turkey and Thanksgiving. So we won't dare mention our late "Thanksgiving" to you. : ) Right now, one of our actual Thanksgiving Day meals will be my homemade "beanie weenies" stuffed into a couple of thermal jars to eat between appointments. There could be no better eating.

Beans and franks. The very name conjures up frugality carried to dirt-cheap eating levels, but not necessarily tasty eating. Keep the price low AND improve the flavor by shoving aside the canned version and making up your own fresh....from dried beans. Even without being on sale, the ingredients don't cost much, but if you can find the franks on special, you can make up a whole 5-quart slow cooker pot full of these for well under the $4.75 it cost me to make these. Even so, this is a HUGE pot of beans. It will feed at least eight to ten hungry adults generously, especially if you serve it with cornbread and a salad. Even better, the inclusion of the franks makes this feel like junk food, so Americanized kidlets will likely adore them.

Incidentally, if your larder is truly bare, the beans are fine all by themselves without the weiners, although I think you'd want to add at least a little meat flavor in the form of bacon drippings. I made it through the first two years of college in the 70s on meatless Crockpot-cooked barbecued beans and boxed mac and cheese. I usually did NOT have the bell pepper and celery on hand, but if the budget allows and I have them in the house, I greatly prefer the flavor with them included. In lean times or when there's none in the house, don't worry about it. There are plenty of flavors going on here to carry it.

Let me tell you, though, a pot of barbecued beans goes a lo-o-ong way when it's just one person eating it! These freeze fine, but let them thaw overnight in the fridge and then rewarm. They'll be a bit mushier, but just as delicious.

BARBARA G'S HOME-MADE BEANIE WEENIES

The beans are quite tasty enough without the bell pepper, celery or Louisiana hot sauce, so omit them if little ones in your family object, or you just don’t have any in the house. If you like peppery hot beans, then try using the hot-style franks. Tabasco really is not a substitute for Louisiana hot sauce, as the hot sauce contributes more of a full pepper flavor and not just heat, whereas Tabasco is mainly just heat. My opinion, of course.

2 lbs dried white beans–navy or Great Northern (abt 5 cups)
1 bay leaf
1 packet onion soup mix, (OR one chopped, sauteed onion plus 2 beef bouillion cubes)
1 1/2-2 cups ketchup
1/4 cup yellow prepared mustard
1/4 cup brown sugar OR 2 T. sugar plus 2 T. molasses
6-8 frankfurters sliced into thin "coins" (good-quality)
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
½ large green bell pepper, chopped (optional)
2 stalks celery, chopped (optional)
2 cloves garlic, chopped
Dash or two Louisiana hot sauce (optional)
1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar

Pick through the beans and discard any deformed or split beans or foreign particles. Rinse well. Put beans into a largish (at least 5-quart) slow cooker with the bay leaf, and fill about 2/3 full of water. Cook on “Low” overnight, or until beans are just tender.   Sometimes I add the garlic here. It's up to you. It'll cook out to have a slightly more mellow, sweeter flavor.

Taking care not to mash them or to burn yourself, pour warm cooked beans gently into a colander to drain off most of the liquid.  RESERVE THE NUTRIENT-FILLED LIQUID.  Add all the remaining ingredients at once to the pot and stir to combine them. Add the beans and stir gently to distribute the sauce and vegetables throughout. Taste for seasoning and adjust with salt and pepper or hot pepper sauce. If the tomato flavor is too anemic or the beans are not saucy enough for your taste, add a little more ketchup. Continue to cook on “Low” for 2-3 or more hours, or until flavors meld and vegetables are done to your liking. Add reserved bean liquid as necessary to keep beans loose enough to be saucy, but not soupy.

Cool and refrigerate, then freeze leftover bean liquid for a grand soup starter, or season it up as a brothy soup unto itself, perfect for the snufflies.

Lazybones alternative, with some risk: If there is too much liquid and the beans are only barely done and you don't feel like draining them, then cook on “High” for an hour with the cover ajar to assist evaporation. If you do this, gently stir the beans from time to time, scraping the sides to keep it from scorching, while taking care not to break up the beans any more than necessary. Of course, if you do break them up and the beans turn to mush, just call it baked bean soup. :D Remove the bay leaf before serving.

Serve as a main course with a green salad or vinaigrette-dressed cole slaw and a big chunk of Southern (NO SUGAR!) cornbread. If you can take the heat, even better is spicy Mexican cornbread. Some chilled fresh fruit afterward will be appreciated, but keep it simple. A big slice of watermelon, for instance, or a handful of frosty grapes straight from the freezer. These rewarm nicely, as long as you don't stir them too much so as to break up the beans. They'll keep fine for 2-3 days in the fridge; two-three months in the freezer.

A super cheap weiner tip: You can get by with using fewer weiners if you cut the "coins" extremely thin. Nobody has to know you cheated.

A safety tip if you’re making these for persons under about two and a half years old—cut the frank coins in half to avoid a choking hazard. Otherwise, the coin-shaped wieners are exactly the right circular shape and size to cause a serious choking problem for little ones.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you, friends I know by face and my dear online friends whose faces I have yet to see in real life! The Lord has mightily blessed us with food and clothing, shelter, a car that's fixed and dear people online and offline who love us and help us, warts and all. I stand amazed and humbled, and I hope to be a blessing to you, as well. Hugs!

Frugally yours,
Barbara Houston Garrett
www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/barbaragarrett

CHEESE SAUCE FOR MAC & CHEESE

2009-11-16T06:06:00.007-06:00

If I had to choose ONE food to live on, it would be macaroni and cheese. Although the crispy-crusted baked version that must be cut is nice, I prefer the scoopable creamy style shown here.  The first part of my life was on a post-World War Two farm. Whatever we did not grow was rationed carefully, like a loaf of pristine white wheat bread, what we called "light bread", or a small blue box of mac and cheese dinner. That tiny 7.25 oz. box had to stretch five ways, which was never enough for me.

I had food dreams, one recurring dream in particular, of swimming in a VAT of macaroni and cheese. My mother was a good cook with what she knew, but she never knew bechemal sauce. She carved up that government cheese into big chunks and laid it on top of a bed of macaroni and poured our cows' milk over it. That was delicious, and I wish my dear Mama were here to fix me some of it, but that was not what I craved. When I went to live with my grandmother, she also made her own version of mac and cheese, also baked and not at all creamy. That was THE WAY it was to be cooked in Mamaw's kitchen, no matter the cook.  So when I was on my own after high school graduation, I went into a kind of creamy macaroni and cheese overkill phase. Thirty-nine years later, I'm still in that phase, only I've perfected my own bechemal cheese sauce to suit my taste. I never tire of it.

I don't know how you feel about macaroni and cheese yourself, but to my thinking one could justify keeping nearly an entire freezer full of ready-made cheese sauce packets expressly for making that comfort food. Now while you may certainly freeze macaroni and cheese as a casserole with relative success, even just one pasta casserole eats up a LOT of valuable freezer real estate.  It also takes a good long time to thaw in the fridge, and that takes up a lot of space there. It is far more space-efficient to make up the pasta sauces and freeze them for many quick suppers. Whoever's at home can boil up a pot of pasta and you're done.

Although I believe cheese sauce is best put to use in the service of making macaroni and cheese, this particular all-purpose cheese sauce has a myriad of uses. Having the sauce ready-made in the freezer renders it the same level of convenience as boxed mac and cheese or potato gratin dinners, but with more versatility and a far better flavor profile!  Also, you'll be able to pronounce every single word in the ingredients list.

Of course, the very BEST time to make cheese sauce for the freezer is when you've racked up on cheese and milk specials. It will cost you pretty much the sum total of those two primary ingredients.  When you find milk on special, rather than trying to freeze/thaw the half-gallon or gallon jugs amd deal with the wateriness, go ahead and make it up into baked goods that use up a lot of milk, like quiches or muffins, or make several batches of this cheese sauce. You can fit a lot of quart pouches into a small freezer where it would be difficult to fit a gallon jug.

Figuring cost: I think this batch cost me $4.75 for roughly four cups of sauce, and it was only a fair special on milk and cheese. Yet and still, that's a pretty good price for several meals' worth of sauce, since that will likely be the most expensive part of the meal. We'll use it to sauce some form of carbohydrate, simple or complex.  If it's pasta, add about $1.00 more for 24 ounces of the good-quality pasta we buy in quantity when it's on sale. That's $5.75 for eight very generous main-dish servings at 82 cents each. It probably SHOULD be ten servings, but I cannot be trusted to think in moderation with a pot of mac and cheese. The puny little bowlful in the photo above I considered a SNACK. : ) Oh, and this is an opulently CHEESY creamy macaroni and cheese. You could stretch it with milk to cover a little more pasta, but why do a thing like that?

Cheese Note: Even though I specify cheeses here, feel free to sub out any easy-melting cheeses you like. Also feel free to substitute "real" cheese for all of the processed cheese. I am required to use at least some of that in my house or I'd have a revolt. A truly luscious cheese sauce for cauliflower or other vegetables can be made by using ALL Gouda cheese--divine!! That's IF you can find it at some wonderful marked-down price. Without the processed cheese, you'll likely have to add more milk to get the same thin sauce consistency you need to sauce pasta.

Cleaning Note: The great thing here is that by using the microwave to cook this instead of a double boiler, you won't get an outrageous mess unless you neglect to watch it and let it boil over. Further, it all soaks clean in the sink with hot, soapy water, unlike the crusty, burned-on mess one tends to get with a saucepan over the stove, and which must be tediously scrubbed.

Barbara G's Cheese Sauce

4 cups milk (the higher fat the milk, the tastier the sauce)
1 pound processed cheese, cut into 1" chunks
1 pound extra-sharp cheddar cheese
4 tablespoons all-purpose flour, unbleached
4 tablespoons butter
1 tablespoon yellow prepared mustard
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon Louisiana hot sauce
salt, black pepper

In a large, microsafe bowl, melt the butter in the microwave and stir in the flour. Add enough milk to make a smooth paste.  Stir in the mustard, Worcestershire sauce, a dash of black pepper and hot sauce. Do not add salt yet. Add a little more milk to thin out the paste. Add the rest of the milk, whisking to blend thoroughly as you go.

Microwave 5 minutes; whisk to blend, making sure to scrape up any thickening sauce from the bottom. Microwave in 1 1/2-minute increments, whisking after each interval, until sauce thickens. Do NOT boil it. Taste for salt and pepper and adjust, if needed. Yield: about 4 cups sauce, or enough to sauce 24 ounces of pasta.

If you won't be using the sauce this meal, cool it quickly and store refrigerated for up to 2 days, or freeze for 2-3 months.

To freeze: Cool sauce completely in the refrigerator. Divide sauce between two or four zipper-seal quart bags, depending upon the size of your family and your needs. Freeze flat and then freeze filed upright like books for easy retrieval and storage.

Here are a few things we do with the cheese sauce. I'm sure you'll think of more.

Some Cheese Sauce Ideas:
1. Mac and cheese - Two cups will sauce about 12 ounces of pasta generously. How-to: Cook the pasta until al dente stage. Drain into a large heat-proof bowl, reserving some pasta water. Add 2 cups thawed cheese sauce and mix to coat each piece of pasta.  The consistency should be slightly runny; not so thick and gloppy that it doesn't stir easily. If it is too thick, add hot pasta water a teaspoon at a time until it's loose enough.  Cover with a heavy plate and let sit for about 10 minutes before serving. This marries the pasta and sauce together nicely. Decadent variation: add one 3-oz. package of softened cream cheese or Neufchatel cheese with the cheese sauce to the hot pasta and mix together with pasta until evenly coated. You may need to add a bit of milk.
2. Burger Topper - Mix one cup of thawed cheese sauce with one cup of caramelized onions or 1/2 cup each caramelized onions (see my recipe in an earlier post) and sauteed mushrooms. Messy to eat but luscious!
3. Omelet Filler - Use about 1/4 cup per serving to sauce an omelet. For extra flavor, mix in ham or bacon.
4. Quick Cheesy Potatoes - Boil or micro-cook about 2 pounds of potato chunks or slices.  Drain (if boiling) and combine with 2 cups of thawed cheese sauce. Cover and let sit for about 10 minutes or so for the potatoes to absorb the sauce. We prefer russets in this dish, but red potatoes are good, too. They hold together a little more firmly than the russets. If I'm making them, I peel them. If my daughter's making them, they're unpeeled! Tasty either way, but more fiber HER way.
5.  Cheesy Green Rice:  Ingredients: 1 1/4 cup of long-grain rice, 2 cups of chicken stock, 1 10-oz. package frozen chopped broccoli or spinach, 1/2 cup finely chopped onion, one cup of thawed cheese sauce. Microwave in large bowl all ingredients except cheese sauce, until rice tests nearly done but is a little moist. Stir in cheese sauce to blend thoroughly with other ingredients. Cover with a heavy stoneware plate and let sit for about 15 minutes. Stir again and serve. This will make 4-6 side dish servings, but more often than not, it's a a one-dish meal for the two of us!
6. Tuna Rarebit: Mix one can of drained tuna with one cup of thawed cheese sauce. Heat to near-boiling while you toast your bread and cut it into points. Serve sauce over toast points.
7. Nachos - Add as many sliced or chopped pickled jalapeno peppers as you dare to a cup of thawed cheese sauce. Warm it and pour over tortilla chips.
8. Broccoli-Cheese Baked Potato - Stir 2 cups cooked, chopped broccoli into one cup of sauce. Serve over baked potatoes.
9. Quick Cheddar Potato Soup - Stir one leftover mashed or cubed baked potato into two cups thawed cheese sauce. Thin with 1-2 cups of chicken stock. Heat to meld flavors, but do not boil.

Frugally yours,
Barbara Houston Garrett
www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/barbaragarrett

REDNECK BIRD FEEDER & WEEVIL BISCUITS

2009-11-10T19:50:00.002-06:00

I've had the store-bought bird feeders, both cheap and the nicer ones. It seems that all of them can be destroyed equally easily by ONE determined squirrel. The most bird feeder I'll do now is home-made from found materials, which also happens to be the cheapest way to do it. The old standby 2-liter soda bottle bird feeder pictured here may not be pretty, but it does the job. We'll hang it high enough and far out enough from sturdy tree limbs that outside cats cannot get to it easily, but close to a window where WE can see it.

The squirrels will find it, so we'll just put out extra for them. They have to eat, too. I'm not sure what God had in mind when He set up squirrels in the eco-system except maybe to keep us from being over-run by acorns. They do provide a certain entertainment value which, in these rather dark times, is reason enough for their existence. In a tight enough pinch, too, they can be stew. I tolerate them without too much upset, except when they kill my bird feeders.

Why bother at all with feeding birds, you ask? Why kiss up to the little darlings? If they can't find something to eat here, they'll go someplace else. It's not like they'll starve. Let me put in a word for the birds here. You WANT birds to hang out at your place. You want them to depend upon you so much that they mark your place as a must-see site on their little birdie maps. Birds are to be valued for far more than their natural beauty and entertainment value, although there's certainly that.

Birds are some of the BEST natural insect pest control devices we've been given. Not only is this nice for mosquito control, but birds will eat the varmints that eat the fruits and vegetables you're growing. This means less backache bending over to pick off cabbage bugs and slugs, most welcome to me! Ultimately, this means we can use fewer pesticides, which not only cost money but do bad things to us that we're only beginning to discover. Birds are a great bargain for the little bit it costs to feed them. Birds are green, birds are great!

Also, since we have strictly inside-only cats (insert my rant on why ALL cats should be inside-only), coupled with low windows with wide windowsills, we have another important reason to attract birds. We are providing our furry babies with hours of prime-time Kitty TV distraction, locked onto a station they prefer. This is to our advantage in many ways besides giving pleasure to our feline friends. What time they spend bird-watching is time they are NOT eating our houseplants, shredding the furniture, or--worst of all--ripping up my manuscripts or my daughter's drawings. Birds are such a good investment, they're practically PAYING us to feed them. We love the birds. We encourage the birds. Hurrah for birds! Okay, bird commercial over.

Bonnie and I worked together on this particular bird feeder. I marked and cut out all the holes and she took it from there on finding the perfect stick and binding the holes. Of course, being 22, she knows how to do everything better than her mother, so she picked masking tape instead of the weather-resistant auto duct tape I recommended. We will see what happens to that masking tape after the sun and rain hit it. Um-hum. Somebody is going to be re-binding those holes and somebody else is going to be biting her lip until it bleeds to keep from saying "I told you so." Don't place any bets on my self-control.

Now that said, if anybody out there can tell me a better-yet-cheap way to dull off those rough cut edges, I'd be tickled pink. I thought about running a bead of caulk around it, but that seemed awfully expensive. Of course, I do have the caulk at hand already and I need an excuse to caulk the windows before it gets too cold to set up right. Na-a-ah, maybe we'll do that on bird feeder number TWO. I really want to see what happens with that masking tape... and I'll take pictures!

There are two basic approaches to making openings for the birds to extract the seed. One is to drill or poke little holes, or make little "X"-shaped slits all over the bottle so the birds can peck out the seed. That's how a lot of the commercial tube feeders are constructed and it's s probably the best way as far as protecting the seed from the elements. However, I made mine with two large holes on opposite sides that are big enough that the birds can crawl into them a bit. Yes, this makes it easier for the squirrels, too, but this is not necessarily a bad thing. If they can easily grab out a pawful of seed, then they may be less inclined to chew through the rope in order to break the bird feeder/pinata. The squirrel mob boys WILL get their cut. If I make it easy for them, maybe I can avoid making a new bird feeder every week. So far, so good.

Bird Feeder How-tos:
You'll need the following supplies:

an empty 2-liter soda bottle (but smaller will do)
some hanging wire
a little lightweight twine or an old shoelace
a twig from the yard or a dowel about 3/8" diameter and about 10"-12" long
auto duct tape(because it's water-resistant, but use what you have!)
fine-tip black permanent marker
X-acto knife, box cutter or single-edge razor blade

1) With a permanent marker, draw elliptical or round openings on either side of the bottle at the same height, large enough that a bird may eat at the entrance without touching either side. The top of the seed will be just below the bottom of this opening, so don't make it too high or you'll have to keep the seed level high. Some birds may be too afraid to jump down into the feeder to get to it. However, don't make the opening so low that the bottle will hold only a half inch of seed without spilling it with each breeze.
2) One inch BELOW those openings, draw an "X" with the legs being about 3/4" in length each.
3) With a box cutter, X-acto knife or single-edge razor blade, cut out the holes. BE CAREFUL! It is very easy for the knife to slip and cut you. I suggest a light sawing motion rather than a jab and drag where you'd need to use lots of pressure. Stitches are not frugal!
4) Using the auto duct tape, bind the holes inside and out so that the raw, jagged edges of the cut plastic do not injure little birdie feet.
5) On the INSIDE of the bottle, put a square of auto duct tape directly behind each of the "X" marks.
6) Being very careful not to cut through to the entrance holes themselves, slowly saw the razor blade into the "X" marks to slit both bottle and tape. Since you duct tape bound the holes first and put that reinforcement square of tape behind the "X" marks, this will be less of a danger.
7) Very gently work the stick through both "X" holes, going through the bottle body. Be very careful not to let the "X" holes split on their own. If the "X" is not big enough, remove the stick and enlarge it slightly with the razor blade.
8) Duct tape the stick in place to the bottle, to keep it from working loose and twirling from constant bird landings. Keeping the stick steady will also help give your feeder a bit longer life.  That's assuming the squirrels don't get it, of course.
9) Hanging the feeder - If you tie a piece of twine around the bottle neck and then hang the feeder from the neck, it will not hang straight. Besides being unsightly, it means the seed will spill out. What you must do is wrap the twine around the neck of the bottle several times, BUT also make a secure, strong loop that goes to the top of the bottle, from which it will be suspended by a strong piece of wire (coat hanger) that will loop around a tree limb. If you insist, use a piece of twine to hang it, but the squirrels will chew through it. Actually, a lighter-gauge wire for the neck wrap would be best, as well, but use what you have.

Here you'll see a piece of cloth ribbon used, because daughter did something with the twine and now cannot remember where she put it. She also did NOT make the loop on top as I suggested, but bound the coathanger wire to the sides of the bottle, trusting the little curved ends of the wire to hold it in place. We'll see. It's a good thing she's so cute. It does hang straight, but it's harder to see what she did and makes for a bit more complicated explaining. Alternatively, you may drill a hole in the cap and thread a piece of wire or string through that and secure it with a knot that won't go through the hole. If you have the drill and the nerves for working on a tiny bottle cap that may well splinter into pieces, go ahead.

So that's that. While you have the materials out and it's fresh on your mind, why don't you make a few more feeders? If something squirrelish happens to the first feeder, you'll be ready with a replacement. Of course, you may also want to hang them ALL out as a bird cafeteria, and put assorted treats in them for your avian friends. They will love you for it and will invite their buddies.

A Seed Storage Tip: You see here where I have the bird seed stored in a recycled juice jug. I highly recommend pouring up ALL your bird seed into hard-sided containers like these jugs. Not only does this make filling the bird feeder easier, but it prevents bug infestation or worse. I was raised on a farm. Rodents of all types consider seed in a bag an open invitation. They will squeeze through the tiniest cracks to get to it. Further, it is possible that when you reach into a bag to scoop out some seed, you may interrupt a critter feeding, which will then run up your arm inside your coat sleeve. Ugh. More than once. By the way, this is good advice for storing ALL your pet food. Rats just love dog food.

Bird treat ideas:
1) Bread or cake chunks - whole grain is best, of course. Seeded or fruited, even more so!
2) Stale breakfast cereal - but not moldy, please. If it's "inhabited," all the better.
3) Very small pine cone coated with peanut butter and rolled in bird seed; lay on top of seed base
  4) Nuts gone slightly "off," rinsed free of any salt and allowed to dry on a towel
5) Sunflower seeds that have gone "off" a bit, also free of any salt
6) The innards of pumpkin or other squash, complete with seeds
  7) Thick chunk of bread or apple slices spread with peanut butter, or that layer of congealed fat you pull off cooked meats or meat broth
8) Popped popcorn, with NO salt added
9) Orange sections
10) Last year's holiday nuts in the shell - a peace offering payment to the squirrels
11) Not-quite-right cranberries you sorted out from the package
12) Grain Weevil Biscuits - kinda sorta recipe follows

GRAIN WEEVIL BISCUITS - Yes, you can do something useful with a thing normally tossed into the trash--truly buggy cornmeal or flour. For a mild infestation, I'd throw the bag into the freezer and then sift out the bodies and use the flour as usual. I would not tell anybody about it, either, because not everybody has a healthy perspective about the ongoing bug wars. For a really bad infestation, though, it's time for bird biscuits! If you can gather your nerve, trudge on ahead and make birdie biscuits right then out of the wiggly flour--FAST, before it crawls out of the bowl. They'll stop moving once you add the liquid and start working the dough. If you're very squeamish, freeze the bag of flour first, well-labeled. Then DO plan to use up all the flour at once in the birdie biscuits.

For every 3 cups of buggy flour, add 2 teaspoons of baking powder and 1/3 cup of some sort of fat.  Instead of shortening or butter, substitute whatever rendered animal fat you have hanging around in the fridge--bacon grease, chicken grease, beef grease, pork grease.  Don't bother to cut in the fat. Just melt it and add to the flour, as per the muffin method of mixing. Add one beaten egg and one cup of bird seed per 3-cup flour recipe and enough water to make a medium-soft dough. Do not bother to roll out the dough. Just make little walnut-sized dough balls with floured hands and flatten them slightly on the greased baking sheet. Bake at 350 degrees in a preheated oven until lightly brown, being careful not to burn them.

When cool, freeze in CLEARLY MARKED containers that say "Bird Seed Biscuits." Your bird friends will love you for the extra protein in them. You'll love yourself for making use of food that ordinarily would have gone into the trash. Oh, and DO NOT omit the bird seed. The seed not only makes these biscuits more nutritious for the birds, but makes their end use outstandingly clear to humans. Without the seed in them, some people may ignore the labeling. It's amazing how much the bugs in those biscuits look just like caraway seeds. ; )

Frugally Yours,
Barbara Houston Garrett
www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/barbaragarrett